A Massachusetts woman has been charged with assault after yanking the false teeth out of a bartender’s mouth and then throwing a beer bottle at her.

How awesome is it to be a legislator in the Sunshine State this year? This awesome: You get to approve the legalization of adultery, cohabitation, and giving young children a strain of marijuana called Charlotte's Web, all in one afternoon sitting.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. kept a diary, in which he detailed his affairs with nearly three dozen women. The New York Post notes that there is a lawyer, an environmental activist, and "at least one woman married to a famous actor" in the list. RFK Jr. had a good plan in which writing down his "lust demons" would keep them safe from public knowledge.

Are you married to a man who committed the ultimate act of betrayal and cheated on you? Are you finding it impossible to forgive him because he ruined your relationship and destroyed the sense of trust you thought you shared? Not sure how to move on? Well, Pat Robertson has some advice for you: Get over it because men can't help but cheat and it's probably your fault anyway.

Which comes first—wanting to commit adultery, or a taste for the cold butter, cumbersome menus, and slippery leather seating of overpriced midtown restaurants? Who is to know if one prompted the other, but the two are related.

Among the many odd, swirling facts surrounding the unfolding David Petraeus scandal: Jill Kelley, the longtime friend of the former CIA director who reportedly went to the FBI complaining of harassing emails from Petraeus' mistress Paula Broadwell, has reacted to the mess by bringing out the scandal equivalent of heavy artillery. She's hired DC superlawyer Abbe Lowell and crisis PR specialist Judy Smith—despite the fact that the FBI has concluded its investigation and there are no criminal allegations on the table.

Married 43 year-old Navy nuclear submarine commander Michael Ward was having a little affair with a younger woman that he met online. These situations are a bit tricky to navigate, as you can imagine. How did Michael Ward extricate himself from it, when he was ready to end the affair? The old fashioned way: he "sent his mistress an email from a fictitious person named Bob in July, posing as a co-worker and saying that Ward had died unexpectedly."

Last week, in the wake of a hot-and-heavy extramarital affair with a male staffer and multiple reprimands from her own Republican party, Minnesota Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch apologized and resigned.

81-year-old former astronaut and Dancing with the Stars geezer Buzz Aldrin is having a sex scandal. After 23 years of marriage, he left third wife Lois Driggs Cannon to be with 51-year-old marketer Michelle Sucillon, whom he met while signing books. Though not yet divorced, Buzz and Michelle have reportedly been "making out like teenagers" in public. Now Lois is giving scorched-earth interviews accusing Michelle of being "a predator," and Buzz of having "a midlife crisis in old age." Once you've been to the moon, it's hard to get thrills. [P6, Image of Buzz and Lois via Getty, Michelle via Facebook]

The National Enquirer published details from Joe McGinniss' hotly anticipated Sarah Palin biography today, including an NBA player's claim that he slept with Palin shortly before her marriage. McGinniss is the "peeping tom" reporter who moved in next door to the Palins' Wasilla home. Based on the Enquirer's read, a guide to the relative veracity of his juiciest claims.

Former senator and presidential candidate John Edwards was indicted by a federal grand jury in North Carolina this morning on charges of accepting illegal campaign donations, conspiring to violate campaign finance laws, and filing false campaign disclosures with the Federal Election Commission—all part of an attempt to buy his mistress and baby mama Rielle Hunter's silence with other people's money.

Visalia, California resident Shamci Rafani is worried about the effect of sex scandals on our society. So she wrote a letter to her local newspaper, the Gannett-owned Visalia Times-Delta, to offer a solution:

A 25-year-old Tehranian who blinded his girlfriend's husband by throwing acid in his face has been sentencing to having acid drizzled over his face and eyes. Apparently they're seeking "forensic scientists" to carry out the punishment now. [Daily Mail]

Diane Passage on husband Ken Starr questioning her sex life: "I always tell him, none of your business… But if I did hook up with another guy I think it would be OK—he owes me, he's in jail."

Finally, someone takes the bait on Al and Tipper Gore's divorce by starting an adultery rumor: Star says Inconvenient Truth producer Laurie David—also the cheating ex-wife of Seinfeld creator Larry David—"went from friends to lovers" with Al.

Suzanne Corona, a 41-year-old resident of Batavia, NY, has been charged with adultery for having sex in a kids' playground with her 29-year-old paramour. She's the 13th New Yorker in 40 years to be charged with the crime. [via]

The week after Valentine's Day is boom time for Ashley Madison, the eHarmony of adultery. Spring may be for the birds and the bees, but the barren wasteland of late February is when husbands'n'wives get horny and start busting out.

Vengenance-by-billboard artist YaVaughnie Wilkins hasn't said anything about her best-jilted-lover-revenge-plot-ever, but we've discovered one good reason she might be pissed at Charles Phillips: She had to give up this $11 million estate along with her tech titan boyfriend.

Jim Behrle's Kreepie Kats have terribly helpful advice, today! Make sure to scare the televangelist you are cheating on your wife with, future Tiger Woodses.

John Edwards is putting up Rielle Hunter—and the daughter he fathered with her—in $6,550-a-month, 3,600-square-foot seaside home just down the beach from the Edwards' Wilmington, N.C., mansion, the National Enquirer reports. Again.