It's only 25 days until the 24,000 of you who applied to Princeton University will receive a letter on Princeton letterhead regretfully informing you that your application does not meet the University's standards, a thanks-for-playing certificate. But you know who else was rejected by the No. 2 school in the country? No. 1 in America's hearts Tina Fey. She told Kelly and Michael:

Canadian political leaders are feeling rather cranky about the U.S. government's plan to charge their citizens $5.50 just to cross the border and drink beer with us. The new fee also applies to Mexican travelers, but they don't seem to be complaining as much—maybe because they're used to getting screwed by the American government.

You think the owner of that book store doesn't know what you're doing? Oh, they know exactly what you're doing. You say you "love" books? You say you enjoy perusing the soothing aisles of a book store, so lovingly curated by a book store owner who spends his or her life ensuring that the very latest and most interesting book selections are there, presented for you in the most interesting possible way? You like that a lot? Yeah. So you can go home and order that shit online. Fuckers.

Well, if you're applying to Princeton at least. Also today: Fox's dinosaur show has its launch date, two old friends return to Middle Earth, '90s actors are making good, and a new ABC show sounds bitchy.