Tabloid newspapers are alien to the Valley. A scandal sheet like the New York Post rarely covers tech — and those are the only days you read it. We understand that it's jarring. Here's how to decode the Post's recent report on Microsoft's attempt to cobble together a Yahoo board.

Who says there's no such thing as karma? A couple of years ago, Yahoo and its cofounder Jerry Yang did the Chinese government a big favor. Something about putting mouthy writers in jail. And now, the New York Times reports, a law that goes into effect this August will make the Chinese government Yang's best hope for fending off Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer.

Industrial-sized video game publisher Electronic Arts is in negotations to buy the only real competitor in the sports game market Take-Two Interactive. Take-Two's shareholders want more than EA is offering and may be stalling until the release of the latest Grand Theft Auto installment. The two companies have taken their negotiations public by issuing dueling press releases — and CNET reporter Daniel Terdiman is tiring of it.

DoubleClick employees may technically work for Google now, but an ad in the DoubleClick Facebook network indicates that they're not real Googlers yet. "Hi DoubleClick!," the ad copy reads. "Please stop gorging on all our food. Maybe we won't fire you. Thanks!" The banner ad is below.

Charmingly indiscreet Yahoo engineer Rob Menke seems to think Jerry Yang is concerned about Valleywag's reporting on the Yahoo CEO's efforts to resist Microsoft's acquisition. Yesterday Menke twittered:

Why were AOL CEO Randy Falco and COO Ron Grant so secretive about buying Bebo? Because they knew much of AOL management hated the deal, Silicon Alley Insider reports. Executives from AOL subsidiaries Advertising.com, Platform A and Userplane would all have worked to kibosh the $850 million deal if they'd known more about it, so Falco and Grant kept them out of the loop. Supposedly, Grant and Falco pushed ahead with the deal because they think Bebo makes AOL a more attractive acquisition target. One source called the buy "Grant's last stand." Below, SAI's account of precisely what's to hate about Bebo, according to AOL execs.

China's Alibaba Group is close to securing the cash needed to buy back Yahoo's 39 percent stake in the company. Executives at Alibaba believe that if Microsoft successfully acquires Yahoo, a change in control would present an opportunity to preserve the "management independence" it has today, thanks to a hands-off Jerry Yang. The news might cool Microsoft's already lukewarm shareholders. If Yahoo is worth $42 billion, it's due in large part to owning a stake in a highly trafficked Chinese portal. China already has more Internet users than the United States. (Photo by pmorgan)

Wall Street analysts don't believe Yahoo revenues will grow 72 percent by 2010, as the company argued yesterday in a shareholder presentation. JPMorgan analyst Imran Khan said Yahoo's estimates for its 2009 revenue, $7.1 billion, exceed his own by $700 million. He doesn't believe Yahoo will own enough search market share to hit those targets. "Those are not easy numbers," Citi analyst Mark Mahaney told the Wall Street Journal. "The most likely outcome that Microsoft buys Yahoo, and at a higher price than $31," he said. (Photo by Todd_Cliff)

According to our admittedly unscientific poll, 62.3 percent or readers said they wouldn't mind if publishers wheeled and dealed their way to the front page of social news sites like Digg, Yahoo Buzz, and Reddit. The news bodes well for Yahoo. Buzz is meant to lure websites into Yahoo's ad network; Yahoo will then take a cut of the ad revenue generated when Buzz send traffic to those sites. It's all part of Yang's grand promises to shareholders made to counter Microsoft's acquisition bid.

Google CEO Eric Schmidt says a Microsoft-Yahoo merger would "break the Internet." Top ad agency execs don't mind the idea. WPP CEO Sir Martin Sorrell, who calls Google a "frenemy," told the FT "a duopoly is better than a monopoly." Robert Lerwill, CEO of agency giant Aegis, hopes Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer will win over Yahoo shareholders too. "The deal would probably be beneficial for advertisers, not just in encouraging price competition but also in terms of improvements in technology," he said.

In a presentation filed with the SEC and embedded below, Yahoo declares that by 2010, revenues will reach $8.8 billion, up 72 percent from last year's $5.1 billion. "Display is a larger opportunity than search, and we are positioned to extend our leadership in display," Yahoo's argument goes. It's Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang's latest public plea for Yahoo shareholders to ignore Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's hostile bid for the company. Highlighting Yahoo Open Search, Yahoo Buzz, and the Yahoo Display Ad Platform, Yang and the gang argue "Yahoo warrants a significant premium above its equity value." Your copy of the presentation, below.

Google actually paid $3.24 billion for DoubleClick, not the $3.11 billion it originally bid last year. The $130 million difference comes from DoubleClick's cash and the exercise price of outstanding options. [Bloomberg News]

Google CEO Eric Schmidt told Portfolio that owning Yahoo would give Microsoft too much control over instant messaging and email. That power, he said "could be used essentially to break the Internet and diminish choice." Google's dominance in search and entry into display advertising with DoubleClick, however, doesn't "have much to do with that argument."

We hear that Facebook has purchased Social.im, the instant messaging application built on top of Facebook. This jibes with Michael Arrington's report that Facebook is about to launch an IM service. Mogad, the company behind Social.im, also took investment from Facebook backer Peter Thiel. Update: "If we're being bought, I haven't gotten the call yet," says Mogad CEO Yanda Erlich. In a now-deleted blog post, he also poked coy fun at the now-debunked rumor with this fake IM exchange:

Yahoo's move into live video could have kneecapped startups like Justin.tv and Ustream.tv. Instead, its botched launch just proved that serving up streams is a harder business than it looks — and got Yahoo rivals like YouTube interested. We hear Ustream.tv is now leaning strongly against taking Microsoft's $50 million bid, and going with a top VC firm instead. Cofounder Brad Hunstable would only concede that "something is going on." Anothing thing going on: Yet another new boss. "Chuck Wallace is the CEO," Hunstable told Valleywag. Note the present tense. If Wallace is replaced in conjunction with a new round of funding, it would be the third time an investor has installed new management.

AOL CEO Randy Falco and President Ron Grant — check out the photo and you'll see why the rank and file call them "Smithers and Burns" — kept plans to buy fourth-place social network Bebo secret from AOL's other top execs. Acquisitions talks are often kept quiet, but BoomTown sources say Falco and Grant were more secretive than usual. Can't say we blame them. The exchange — "We're targeting Bebo." "Who?" — has to get old.

Microsoft will acquire San Francisco-based Rapt, which helps publishers manage their ad inventory. VCs Kip Sheeline of Levensohn Venture Partners and Arthur Patterson of Accel Partners saw their firms cash out on the deal, along with cofounder and CEO Tom Chavez. But not without a little founder blood on their hands.

AOL will try to follow its $850 million Bebo acquistion with another, the purchase of white-label social widgets maker KickApps. BoomTown reports AOL exec Ira Parker and KickApps chairman and founder Eric Alterman remained in negotiations as late as this week. They're haggling over a $90 million price tag. That AOL's willing to pay so much for an also-ran social-network tools startup suggests AOL's position isn't so much "leading" as "over a barrel."

Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang may finally be starting to ease into Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's bear hug. But just in case Yang goes suddenly frigid, Ballmer is ready to turn Microsoft's bid to acquire Yahoo from surly to hostile. TechCrunch reports Ballmer has a list of candidates for Yahoo's board ready to go. The stooges, below.

Senior executives from Microsoft and Yahoo met on Monday, the WSJ confirms. In fact, Microsoft execs even presented their "vision of a combined company." But don't call it a negotiation, the Journal's Matthew Karnitschnig writes. Will your Yahoo sources let us call it an afternoon tea, Matt? [WSJ]