"What I do is cinema verité" is easily the second-most ridiculous thing uttered by the subject in this bizarre profile of poor tea-partier's Art Linkletter and ratfucker James O'Keefe.

Journalism school laughingstock and expert jazz hands practitioner James O'Keefe will pay $100,000 and apologize to a former ACORN employee who was fired after being featured in one of O'Keefe's 2009 "sting" videos. The heavily-edited videos were successful, in that they led to a congressional investigation that eventually shutdown ACORN, netting O'Keefe $65,000 in the process. The videos were also, apparently, illegally filmed, at least the one shot in California. Former ACORN employeed Juan Carlos Vera sued O'Keefe and his partner-in-crime Hannah Giles last year, saying the secretly recorded video violated California law that prohibits recording someone without their permission.

Poring over the court documents on ACORN, Wonkette discovered that Andrew Breitbart agreed to pay James O'Keefe and his ACORN sting video co-star Hanna Giles a combined $120,000. Apparently James got a grand total of $65,000 for his "life rights," but Giles got cut off due to "a conflict of visions" after receiving a comparatively scan $32,000. [Wonkette, image via]

Provocateur, website founder and collector of America's largest wads of spittle Andrew Breitbart died last Thursday morning, when some sentient shred of his cardiac organ kamikazed out of an exhausted sense of justice.

Conservative prankster James O'Keefe, the artless cad behind heavily edited video "stings" on NPR, ACORN, and other enemies of the state, has been paying for all of his work on his and his buddies' credit cards. Apparently it costs a lot of money to carry a camera and act like a jackass — $50,000, as it happens! So won't you be a peach and give him $50,000, or perhaps even $1 million? This is James O'Keefe's plea in an email to supporters.

Today we learned that most Americans don't blame violent rhetoric or guns for what happened in Tuscon. This is very confusing! Very confusing especially for one commenter, who raised an interesting question.

The GOP won its very own House! Now's the part where they throw their shit all over the walls. Here are the criminal enterprises, like science and community organizers, that the GOP will use its newfound subpoena power to crush.

If Republicans take the House back this fall, there's one thing you can count on: their constant use of subpoena power. Meaning, they'll formally investigate Obama's every turn. They can't wait. In fact, they're already drafting a long, long list.

With the census due, conservatives worry that months of stoking fear among their constituents may come back to bite them in the ass, because a low turn out could mean a loss of Republican seats in Congress. Brilliant move, guys.

In what was either a conspiracy of tow truck companies, academic Maoists, and ACORN or a hilarious frat prank, 53 cars were towed from a University of Central Florida parking lot while their owners were enjoying a Glenn Beck show.

"ACORN does indeed operate like the Mafia, but it more closely resembles another organization that began as an affiliate of the Democratic Party, the Ku Klux Klan." -Famous GOP expert on black history Michael Zak. It's totally true!

Kings County DA Charles Hynes says "no criminality has been found" after his investigation into ACORN. Earlier reports from the former Massachusetts DA ACORN hired to investigate themselves and the Congressional Research Office also found no evidence of law-breaking.

ACORN is dead. Long live a bunch of unaffiliated local offices that do the stuff ACORN did but without the national lobbying arm that occasionally convinced lawmakers to do nice things for poor people. That'll teach them to humor a douchey college kid asking silly questions.

Did you know that when investigative journalist/huge racist/attempted phone-tamperer James O'Keefe illegally videotaped himself fucking with ACORN employees, he was not actually dressed as a cartoon pimp, but actually "in slacks and a button-down shirt"? You probably didn't know that, because not a single media outlet that reported on the tapes ever saw the unedited versions, and O'Keefe's employer Andrew Breitbart lied about them, repeatedly!

When it comes to the arrest of James O'Keefe, patron Andrew Breitbart is not jumping to conclusions. The MSM may want to convict O'Keefe, but Breitbart is waiting for the facts, so that he can ignore the inconvenient ones.

ACORN eagerly celebrated the bust of its most effective critic; Brad King wished for Condé Nast's comeuppance; and Gabe Rivera prayed that TechCrunch would fix a near-criminal advertisement. The Twitterati were out for blood.

Conservative hero James O'Keefe — famous for those undercover pimps and hos ACORN videos — was arrested along with three others for posing as telephone repairmen and trying to bug the phones in Sen. Mary Landrieu's New Orleans office.

Because earning $223,500 per year as the GOP's designated loudmouth is not enough, Steele also dabbles in the private loudmouth sector, drawing up to $20,000 for speeches where he does stuff like praise ACORN. We found a video!

What is our nation's very serious opposition party up to, these days? Oh, just staging mock trials in Congress using "evidence" they found in ACORN's trash!

Seriously, we cannot actually imagine watching this and cheering on the shrieking old white man. Even if we agreed that ACORN was a terrible criminal organization bent on helping all the prostitutes in the world fill out their taxes while registering illegal immigrant cartoon characters to vote, we would still be incredibly uncomfortable watching Tim Jones scream at a couple fucking kids (one of whom he definitely calls "boy" in his charming Boston accent) and their mother.