Actress Sophie Monk, who's perhaps best known for dating that one guy from Good Charlotte and more recently pint size American Idol presenter Ryan Seacrest, was accosted by a homeless woman in Beverly Hills. The homeless woman told Monk that she could do so much better than Seacrest and some mall punk guy. Monk played dumb as the woman literally attempted to shake some sense into her. "You have your whole future ahead of you. Don't settle now because other wise you're going to end up on Vh1 trying to date Bret Michaels or, worse, Artie Lange."

An overly excited Danny DeVito re-introduced his own line of Limoncello liqueur to the public in Las Vegas. DeVito explained to the press that if it wasn't for Limoncello, he wouldn't be where he is today. "Asking for Rhea's hand in marriage, that was about three limoncellos. Whether or not to take Taxi, that was one limoncello and about twelve for Jackie Nicholson. Just about every decision in my life requires at least one to two limoncellos," DeVito replied before welling up.

An overexcited Perez Hilton fan released a banshee-like shriek that could reportedly be heard all the way in Pacoima after his first major celebrity sighting, Lindsay Lohan. The time that he saw Danny Masterson outside of a Johnny Rocket's didn't count. The man quickly called his friend and asked him if he could e-mail Perez the news of his latest sighting; much to his dismay, the man had very little dish to dish on Lohan other than the fact she wasn't her tights and was with Samantha Ronson. The man quietly realized that it wasn't much of a celebrity sighting after all.

Playwright/filmmaker David Mamet warned the press line at the premiere of his latest film Redbelt to refrain from making references to his prior work. Mamet told the studio's publicist to be on the watch for some wise ass from one of those "Extra Inside Access Entertainment" show who always does a horrible rendition of Alec Baldwin's monologue from Glengary Glen Ross. Mamet said that every time I hear the guy, it makes me feel as if I'm in a community college acting class; what did I ever do deserve this degree of a personal hell?

Miley: In three years, all that money is going to be mine and I'm going to get this rad house in Los Feliz and I'm gonna have Lindsay Lohan be my maid. There's going to be sick parties 24/7.

In attempt to cheer him self up after learning that his latest film's release date has been pushed back for a second time, Tom Cruise played with his toy robot at a local park. At first, Cruise had difficulties in engaging in traditional activities with the animatronic girl; case in point, when Cruise forgot to bend the legs before sending it down the slide and tumbled down face first. Cruise asked other parents at the park about the model number of their particular "children," but then Cruise got distracted by how dirty the Suri-Bot was getting. Cruise quickly dragged the robot by hand to a near by SUV explaining that he doesn't want mommy to be at them for having so much fun without her.

While on filming a scene for Bride Wars with Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway showed off her "mad hops." After filming the scene, Hathaway told a few make up artists that if the acting thing didn't work, she planned on becoming the first attractive player in the WNBA. Hathaway explained that she wanted to model her style of play after Detlef Schrempf to a room full of blank faces.

Drew Barrymore recently complained to friends over her dissatisfaction with her iPhone. The Charlie's Angels star doesn't have the heart to tell her boyfriend, Mac Spokesperson Justin Long, that she wants to go back to her old phone. Barrymore explained that she enjoys watching YouTube videos like the sneezing panda whenever she feels blue its just that her Blackberry is her Blackberry and she needs it back. One of Barrymore's friend thought that the iPhone and the Blackberry pretty much did the same thing to which an angry Barrymore replied, "The iPhone is good and all, but the Blackberry is like the phone that God would use if God ever had to make a conference call."

An unnamed production assistant on the show Gossip Girl attempted to take it to the next level with one of the show's stars, Leighton Meester. After weeks of thinking he was picking up a vibe from Meester (and fueled by the drunken logic of friends over the weekend), the P.A. asked Meester if she'd like to share a Coke with him. Meester smiled and politely said that she'd like to, but she had to go over her lines for the next scene. As the dejected P.A. walked away, a near by teamster scoffed, "If you're gonna try to pull anybody, pull an extra, you big dummy. When you're Mister Big Time Movie Producer, then you go for the star."

Scrubs star Zach Braff was spotted leaving Hollywood nightspot Villa over the weekend in bit of a daze. Braff reportedly mumbled under his breath multiple times about a desire to get a burger which was so followed by shouts of "Anybody up for Astro Burgers? Astro Burger! Come on! Astro Burger!" Braff's friends shrugged their shoulders and suggested In-N-Out instead. Braff scoffed, then quickly agreed, citing that he could so go for animal style fries.

Reformed child star Ashley Olsen took a cue from some of her favorite comic book characters in her on-going battle against her mortal foes, the paparazzi. The pint sized fashion icon felt if she can hide her identity the same way Spiderman hides it from various supervillains, maybe the photographers will finally leave her alone. Olsen intends to spruce up her mask in the upcoming days, perhaps something in a plaid pattern.

At the premiere for the upcoming film, Street Kings, Keanu Reeves and his powerful phermones caused a woman to pass out from her heightened state of excitement. The unidentified woman told near by fans that she couldn't believe she was able to get so close to the Bill & Ted star, let alone have him say something to her. She thought at the most she was going to see the top of his head, but the woman instead was able to say "Hey" before passing out cold.

Jena Malone, star of the recently released horror film, The Ruins, snapped when a reporter asked her about another film of hers, Into the Wild. The reporter felt the film never fully explained why the main character went into the wild. At first, Malone handled the question with poise and grace and suggested that he direct that question to Sean Penn. Yet the reporter persisted until Malone broke down and stormed away; the reporter followed up his question with another question, "What was with that Donnie Darko movie, anyways?"

Katherine Heigl was spotted out and about in Los Angeles wearing a gift from hubby Josh Kelley's mother. Heigl may have been all smiles in front of the cameras, but once the newlyweds got into the SUV, it was a whole other story. Kelley was reported to have been seen crying at the corner of Wilshire and Santa Monica Blvd after a tongue-lashing about Katherine's desire to not be photographed wearing Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

Veteran character Bruce McGill or, as he's more commonly referred to, "That One Guy From That One Movie", had his picture taken by the paparazzi yesterday while heading into LAX. McGill apologized to the young photographer about not being that interesting and not that much of a rainmaker.

Over lunch with a friend, Meg Ryan explained why she made the switch from Head & Shoulders shampoo to Selsun Blue. Ryan was simply tired of all the scratching and all of that white stuff on her shoulders. Ryan complained that none of the products various hair stylists worked and only made things worse. "I just zipped into Rite Aid and boom, my hair feels so much healthier," Ryan said.

Megan Fox showed her displeasure to an overzealous Canadian customs officer who questioned why would she ruin such 'a kickin bod' with such awful tattoos of that one lady from that one movie. The officer also said that it was a matter of Canadian national security that he'd get Fox's phone number.

Britney Spears' latest bodyguard/driver suffered a panic attack while attempting to escort the pop star from a clothing boutique, presumably somewhere just off Robertson. Looking at the locust-like media swarm, it was reported that the bodyguard said, "Game Over, Man" multiple times before climbing across Spears' lap to get into the driver's seat.

"Joshua" Kelley, the husband of Katherine Heigl, went out of his way to put an end to the rumors floating around The Internets that he's whipped. Kelley explained that rockers like him couldn't be whipped because, while on paper he might be married to Heigl, he's actually married the greatest woman of all time, music. "The last time I checked, polygamists aren't whipped," smirked Kelley. He then took a long swig from the water bottle under his arm, which didn't actually contain any water, but rather 20 ounces of Bacardi 151. Rockers!

An extremely jet lagged Matt Damon happily posed with a photographer who exclaimed that now he's fucking Matt Damon over and over again. Damon smiled and said thanks, but quickly explained that he had to leave. The photographer said that he wanted to say one more thing before Damon left. Damon sheepishly replied, "What?" The photographer with a mile-wide grin said, "I'm fucking Matt Damon."