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In a scene eerily similar to the film Garden State, Zach Braff started to feel alienated from the crowd at LAX. As Braff headed toward the exit, the crowd started to slowly blur into a sea of shapes and figures. Braff said, "It made me feel like I was really alone in the world. You know, that it was just me with the problem and everybody else was fine and normal." It didn't help Braff's demeanor any when he got a phone call and realized that his mobile phone still defaults to an Imogen Heap ringtone.

After filming a scene for the upcoming season of Desperate Housewives, Eva Longoria Parker took out a stack of bills and began to count out loud at a very high volume. One crewmember asked if Longoria Parker was going to practice her stealth tipping skills, but the popular actress said that her husband is the undercover tipper in their relationship. Another crewmember thought that Longoria Parker might be headed to the Spearmint Rhino to make it rain. Longoria shook her head and said, "Wrong. All wrong. It's my snack money for when I see Pineapple Express at the Americana tonight, dudes. Skittles and James Franco, crazy delicious!"

Cinematic tough guy Clive Owen received some bad news via his Blackberry outside the London branch of celeb sushi spot Nobu on Tuesday night. Apparently, the die-hard Liverpool F.C. fan got the news that the club had lost a mid-fielder for the upcoming season. Owen said, "There must be a bunch of Manchester wankers in the Visa office. Maybe I should go over there and give those droogs a swift kick to the yarbles."

Looks like Liv Tyler should've asked her Armageddon co-star Ben Affleck for some tips on how to tip on the DL. While at LAX on Tuesday afternoon, Tyler attempted to slide the tip into the skycap's pocket, but the skycap mistook the gesture for something a bit more forward. Tyler explained that she was trying to tip him and didn't mean anything by it. The skycap smile and said, "You could just give it to me. No need to be a Sneaky Pete about things."

Lindsay "The Dragon" Lohan made many Miami shopkeepers very nervous as she strolled along with lifetime companion Samantha Ronson and the rest of the Ronson family. Lohan appeared to be emitting more smoke than usual, perhaps due to the stress of meeting Ronson's family. Not even a trip to the American Apparel store could quell the dragon's nerves.

While waiting in line for a screening of Pineapple Express, famed siblings Macaulay and Kieran Culkin got into a very heated debate over the quality of their bottle water. Macaulay felt that while the water could've been a bit colder, it was still refreshing and satisfying. However, Kieran felt that water was bland and too predictable. Macaulay pointed to his brother towards the various brands of flavored water available at the theater, but Kieran just shook his head. A crowd quickly formed around the brothers who asked the brothers to debate more topics. One onlooker commented, "These two guys should be the guys replacing Ebert & Roeper. You can really tell that they don't like each other."

In a rush to finish her grocery shopping, beloved actress Kate Hudson decided to sneak her shopping cart into the express lane at Whole Foods. Hudson knew that she was well over the item limit for the trendy organic market, but believed her trademark charm would allow her to get away with it. After scanning a few items, the Whole Foods cashier noticed that Hudson was going to be well over the express lane limit and stopped scanning. Hudson wondered what the problem was, but the cashier pointed to the sign above her post with the item limit and added, "I've scanned the express lane limit, ma'am." Hudson asked if the cashier could give her a mulligan this time around and that the next time, she'll wait in the regular line with everybody else. The cashier pensively thought for a moment, then returned to scanning items. The cashier said, "This is only because I loved Raising Helen."

Before embarking on a sailing expedition to U2 front man Bono's house, silver fox George Clooney went over all the safety procedures for the yacht with his passengers. After his presentation — which included a PowerPoint slideshow explaining which side is port and which is starboard — Clooney wore a life preserver until the seafaring vessel docked at Bono's. While some of his passengers laughed at him, The Cloonester stood firm, largely because his aunt Rosemary always told him that he should be a leader, not a follower.

Much like the first day of elementary school, Katherine Heigl spent a decent portion of her first day back on set catching up with the cast and crew of the popular medical drama Grey's Anatomy. When it came to time to explain what she did over her vacation, an uncomfortable silence filled the parking lot. A pensive Heigl kicked at a few imaginary pebbles then explained that she's got to listen to her lines on her iPod in her car and added that she might check out that 'cake fart' website everybody is raving about as well.

While walking the carpet at the Teen Choice Awards, popular singer/actress Scarlett Johansson bent over when she noticed that someone had dropped a stack of business cards on the ground. The Scoop star bent down in a ladylike manner to pick up the discarded business cards, much to the dismay of the surrounding lensmen hoping to score a gossip blog friendly shot. A group of men ahead of Johansson dropped another set of business cards, but Johansson just stared at cards, shook her head and moved her fingers using the universal sign for "naughty naughty."

Hollywood triple threat Ben Affleck must be looking to add another talent onto his resume as he displayed his undercover tipping skills. Affleck did not want to make a big spectacle out of tipping the limousine driver in front of the camera, so he decided to slip it into his coat pocket. Affleck said, "I'm going to tell him to check his pockets once he drops us off. I think he's going to be happy with what he discovers." Affleck picked up the move from a rerun of Friends he saw while on his trip and plans on using the trick very often in the near future. Affleck said, "If you see the Benster, you better check your pockets cause you may find a very nice present."

Film director Len Wiseman appeared to be slightly distracted as he left Victoria Beckham's party in Beverly Hills with his wife, actress Kate Beckinsale. Wiseman's hands could barely maintain the "ten and two" position on the steering wheel as Beckinsale's hand mysteriously disappeared below the frame. The couple's luxury car remained stopped at a traffic light on Wilshire for a few lights, much to the dismay of motorists behind the couple.

Jeremy Piven further cemented his reputation as one of the most rebellious actors in Hollywood on Thursday afternoon. The Very Bad Things star boldly drove around Malibu while talking on his cellular phone, which is now an illegal activity in California. Piven said, "Headsets are for nerds ands squares and I'm not a nerd by any stretch of the imagination." Then Piven flexed his muscles and gunned through the light.

'90s icon Sharon Stone attempted to use her star power to talk he way out of a parking ticket. Stone said, "Usually, I could just get away with an autograph head shot or my charming smile. But with this generation of meter maids, they always want a little more than you're willing to offer. Nobody wants a ticket, but I'm not going to do that to get out of it. I'm not that desperate." After serving Stone with her ticket, the meter maid explained why she turned the offer for a signed headshot. The parking enforcement officer said, "I already have her autograph. I already have a lot of autographs. The walls of my bonus room look like a dry cleaner's with all of the headshots. I'm got enough Sharon Stones. I need some Hills cast members though."

After rumors surfaced last week about being involved in an extramarital affair, Matthew Broderick took wife Sarah Jessica Parker out to dinner in mid town Manhattan on Wednesday night. When asked about the state of their marriage, Broderick said, "I'm going to quote my favorite TV character and say, don't be ridiculous. We're doing great." Parker pensively nodded in agreement with her husband and then flashed the 'A-Okay' hand gesture.

A Queens resident may have had the highlight of her week or year when she ran into Katie Holmes. Rose Smith was surprised to see the famed wife of Scientologist Tom Cruise, but was shocked to see that she was wearing nearly identical outfits. Smith said, "I would've assumed that Katie's an Anthropologie girl, but she was wearing the same tights that I got at Urban Outfitters. How cool was that? I totes asked her if she needed any help though. You know that blink once, if you're cool. Blink twice, if you want me to get my brother and his truck."

At a press conference on Wednesday afternoon, Wizards of Waverly Place star Selena Gomez finally announced her decision to run for America's Teen Queen. In her speech, Gomez outlined numerous domestic policies including plans for cheaper lip-gloss, universal gift cards for Forever 21 and weekly Jonas Brothers concerts. During her speech, Gomez refrained from bashing her competitor, Miley Cyrus, even going as far as saying that Cyrus has taken some pretty cool photos, but cool photos aren't enough to lead America. At the end of her speech Gomez said, "We're going to go to the Teen Choice Awards! We're going to be on the Ryan Seacrest radio show, Tom Harkin! The Today Show! Live With Regis & Kelly! Robertson Blvd! The Morning Show With Mike & Julie! Raging Waters! And then we're going to take it all the way to MTV Music Awards and we're going to win! Burbank High football rules! YEAH!"

Love Guru star Verne Troyer was the person to hang out with at the ESPN X Games Celebrity Golf torment on Tuesday afternoon. Troyer's audience at the tournament included reality TV mavens Brody Jenner and Frankie Delgado, the latter of whom compared the pint size actor's golfing skills to Phil Mickelson. Jenner said, "He's good, but he's nowhere as awesome as K-Fed. He's like the Tiger Woods of celebrity golfers, but Verne is kind of cooler cause he has that sex tape."

A fretful Reese Witherspoon asked the women at a Brentwood nail salon if it would be okay for her to drive home with wet nails. The Little Nicky star has had numerous manicures in the past, but seemed unsure if her nails were completely dry yet. The nail technicians assured Witherspoon that her fingernails were dry and completely safe for driving. Witherspoon looked at her manicure one more time and asked if they could run a hair dryer over them before heading she got behind the wheel.