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We Have Found the Mad Bomber

Pareene · 03/07/08 01:38PM

The cops brought in one of those criminal profiler people like you see on the tv shows to figure out just who was mad enough to toss a tiny bomb at the military recruiting station in Times Square at 4 a.m., injuring no one, before speeding off suspiciously on his bicycle. "'He feels comfortable on the bicycle,' Mr. Pierce said of the bomber, suggesting the person could be a bike messenger." You fools! It was Owen Wilson. [NYT]

VIDEO: Hooded Terrorist Coward Flees Times Square Attack!

Pareene · 03/06/08 06:00PM

Surveillance cameras captured fleeting, blurry images of the man who dropped the bomb on Uncle Sam this morning and Police released clips to the media this afternoon We know the terrorist rides a bicycle ("in a suspicious manner") and wears dark clothing. We must insist you turn in any friend, neighbor, or relative who matches this description to the police for questioning. Watch the video for yourself, after the jump. (Also please click to see this loving illustrated tribute to the victims of today's attacks from Gawker reader and patriot Ryan.)

Fallout

Pareene · 03/06/08 11:52AM

Did the TIMES SQUARE I.E.D. affect the Conde Nasties? Did Anna Wintour make it to work today? Any MTV or Viacom slaves want to weigh in on the confusion and terror that have surely overtaken their studios? Send me your stories of heroism. [Photo: Reuters, who are also headquartered right around the corner from this morning's TERROR.]