With the fun people out of the Senate race, New Yorkers have to settle for Joe DioGuardi, who is famous because he fathered that American Idol lady. He is Twittering! He has 74 followers. (Kara is not one of them.)

Florida governor Charlie Crist must wake up every morning and wonder what happened? He used to be the most popular man in Florida. Now he's telling Greta Von Susteren that his primary opponent gets his back waxed on your dime.

Larry Kudlow has a bunch of friends-of-Roger Stone running a quasi-campaign for Senate on his behalf, but he's not going to enter officially unless he think he has a shot. It doesn't look like he thinks he has a shot.

Mort Zuckerman seems to be wavering in his commitment to running for the Senate. According to sources close to him, he a) doesn't want people to start writing about his kids, b) his longtime business partner died and a political campaign could harm his publicly traded company, and c) he doesn't want to give up his associations with various pro-Israel non-profits.

This is the depressing state of affairs in New York, in 2010. The various monsters and morons currently running-without-running for statewide office include Andrew Cuomo, Harold Ford, Mort Zuckerman, and, yes, Larry Kudlow.

Who exactly does Mayor-for-life Mike Bloomberg want to be our next Senator? First we're told that his influential friends convinced a bank-loving conservative Democrat from Tennessee named Harold Ford to run. Now, suddenly, he wants million-year-old hack publisher Mort Zuckerman?

Hero Senate quitter Evan Bayh explained absolutely nothing about the reasons for his retirement at his press conference a little earlier. Except that he wishes everyone in the Senate was Dick Lugar. What he didn't mention: he didn't tell Obama or Reid about his plans, and the filing deadline for a candidate looking to replace him is tomorrow. If you won't vote for his Bipartisan Deficit Commission, Evan Bayh will take all of you motherfuckers out.

Another day, another compelling argument for refusing to allow Mike Bloomberg back into the nation the next time he jets off to Bermuda for the weekend: now Mort Zuckerman wants to run for Senate.

Now why would you need to "draft" a guy who already wants to run for office? That is the question we're faced with as we examine the "Draft Larry Kudlow" movement.

Page Six spotted would-be Senator Harold Ford dining with Governor David Paterson at Butter last Tuesday. Which means it's time up update the ol' campaign trail map! Study it, Harold, because your New York geography needs work.

It is the worst year for Congressional Democrats since 1994. Right now we are all just wondering if they'll be able to retain a majority in either house. You know who isn't worried? Nancy Pelosi. She has all the money.

Octogenarian gossipeuse and human Eraserhead tribute Cindy Adams has an exclusive: perpetual candidate Harold Ford is totally a real New Yorker! (He's also another victim of this recession, because of his 45-day leave of absence from Merrill Lynch.)

Marco Rubio is going the be the Republican candidate for Senate in Florida this year. He is handily beating formerly popular Republican Governor Charlie Crist, because Crist is too moderate and too probably gay. This Rubio guy, though—he is basically the next Scott Brown! Except that once he destroys Crist in the primaries by running way to Charlie's right, it will be a lot harder for him to shift back to Florida's soft, mushy center. Especially when he is already coming out against taxing or regulating banks at all in any fashion. (We are so baffled by these Tea Party people! Aren't they anti-bailout? Anti-bailout and anti-preventing-future-bailouts?) Oh, right: he is beating Crist in the polls. They're both ahead of the Democrat, but the Democrat has not yet begun actually campaigning against this man who loves banks so much he wants to marry them.

Who are the Tea Party people going to teabag this November? They have a list! It is literally a list of "Enemies of Liberty." These guys!

What is future senator Harold Ford up to, today? The New York Times let him write a little op-ed column He gave a radio interview. He proposes tax cuts for major corporations and also thinks Jews talk funny.

It would be completely inappropriate for some loser blogger to call Beau Biden, who just finished a year-long deployment to Iraq, a coward. But the Vice President's kid is a big coward.

At least there's a Harold Ford interview to entertain us today. Has Prince Hal changed his tune on Wall Street bonuses, or health care reform? No one knows, because the Daily News reporter was not allowed to ask about "issues."

People are still pushing the "Ed Schultz for Senate" idea? Really?

Democrats will lose two or three Senate seats. Like North Dakota. But they will also maybe pick up a Republican seat or two. That is the state of the Democratic catastrophe you keep reading about.

Hot naked Cosmo pinup Scott Brown, the Republican candidate for Senate from Massachusetts, is only down nine points in the polls! (According to GOP-friendly Rasmussen.)