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"Normalcy is not interesting," said Lindsay Lohan toward the end of her sit-down with Oprah Winfrey on Oprah's Next Chapter, which aired last night. The actress sounded not just granted with serenity, but self-awareness — her interview was slow and bland. It was seasoned with information that was already evident to anyone paying attention to the hopeful former-troubled-star: Lohan is an addict whose poison is alcohol, she finds going to court humiliating, and she is eager to work/maintain her sobriety that's a result of her recent three-month trip to rehab (with one month spent at Betty Ford and the other two at Cliffside Malibu).

Winfrey seemed stern — the interview started with what seemed like impromptu alpha-dogging with Oprah announcing to Lohan and the world, "OK, so you and I just spoke a few minutes ago off camera to try to clarify what our intentions are for this conversation. And you said..." Lohan said she was just going to be herself. And so she was, it seemed. She humbly answered all of Winfrey's softball questions, which focused on Lohan's feelings ("What's it like being confined in rehab?"; "What was it like in July 2010 to hear you were going to go to jail?"), but left little room for juicy narrative tidbits. It was mostly all superficial and vague. Lohan says she's only done cocaine "10 to 15" times (a revision of her previous story of "3 or 4" times), this sobriety attempt is different because she is no longer on Adderall (a drug "reportedly abused by students and young celebrities who believe it helps them lose weight and stay awake for long periods of time," according to Winfrey's voiceover), that she isn't on any prescription drugs except NEXIUM because she has acid reflux. So now you know about Lindsay Lohan's relationship with cocaine, Adderall, and Nexium.

The highlights were few and far between, but included Lohan explaining the phrase "on one" to Winfrey (who needs more Drake/DJ Khaled in her life). This occurred during a recap of the events surrounding the leaking of a voicemail she left her father Michael, in which she claimed her mother was on cocaine (which Lohan now says was a lie). Really, that Lohan could discuss the atrocious and mortifying behavior of her parents with her held head high is almost as impressive as her current sobriety.

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A commercial for Lohan's most recent rehab facility, Cliffside Malibu, aired multiple times during the broadcast...which was already a commercial for Cliffside Malibu, basically.

The broadcast ended with Winfrey imploring Lohan to reconsider a planned trip to Europe — Winfrey said she feared it would threaten Lohan's sobriety. Lohan said she would think about it and the show ended with a title card that said she canceled her trip two days after the interview was filmed. Lohan will have a reality show on OWN next year, so she was basically just following her boss' orders. As usual, Oprah wins even when there's no apparent competition at hand.