28-year-old security guard Erica Mack is in critical but stable condition after having been trampled by gatecrashers at Miami's Ultra Music Festival on Friday night. Mack was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital with brain hemorrhaging and a broken leg.

Ta-Nehisi Coates of the Atlantic and Jonathan Chait of New York have, over the past week, been engaged in something equal parts duel and duet in the pixels of their respective magazine's websites. Their debate has plumbed the depths of race and racism in America, working out the questions of civic and historical responsibility in a public forum with respect and grace. As readers and citizens we are privileged to bear witness to this dialogue. They've also thrown some damn good shade at each other, so let's look at that.

Succumbing to a run of bad press due to spectacular security breaches of the new 1 World Trade Center tower in Lower Manhattan, the complex's head of security, David Velazquez, has resigned.

"Each blade takes up to a month to make, comprises as many as 6,000 layers of steel and can slice an onion so thin you can read through it." But... why?

Former CNN muckraker (haha) Piers Morgan bid farewell to his 9pm cable news time slot last night, having been ousted by the network due to flagging viewership of his Piers Morgan Live. The imported Brit dedicated his final segment to his career's latest, greatest cause: U.S. gun control.

A Texas man attached a picture of his penis (or, rather, 'a' penis) to his job application. The man has been ticketed for "obscene display or distribution" and is still, presumably, looking for a job.

Governor Andrew Cuomo and New York state legislators have carved out $300 million in next year's budget for New York City's prekindergarten programs. Mayor Bill De Blasio promised an expansion of NYC's pre-k offerings loudly and frequently during campaign season and to pay for it with a tax increase on the city's highest earners; the deal in Albany does not provide for such an increase.

Earlier this month, two young, beautiful Black women, Britney Cosby and Crystal Jackson, were left dead by a dumpster in Texas*. Their apparent crime? Being in a romantic love that by all friends' accounts was sweet and wonderful. Their apparent murderer? The father of one of the women didn't like her sexual orientation, her relationship, or her girlfriend, and he killed them both, leaving them to rot like garbage.

Chief Keef's neighbors spoke to reporters yesterday following the shooting at his manager's Northfield home. "We all knew that something bad was going to happen at that house," trembled one resident, withholding her name for fear of retaliation.

Meet the half-dog. Unlike the half-cat, the half-dog is real.

Salvatore Perrone, a 65-year-old garment salesman from Staten Island, stands accused of executing three Brooklyn shopkeepers in 2012. In a trial tentatively scheduled for the fall, the defendant will represent himself. Perrone launches his defense just a month after medical experts declared him mentally fit for prosecution, barely, despite his repeated outbursts to declare that he murdered on behalf of a "Palestinian section of the CIA."

German actress Ina Groll left the pornography industry in December, re-inventing herself as a cheerleader for the National Democratic Party (NPD), Germany's premier Nazi cosplay club. Now she's been kicked out of the NPD because some horny skinhead onanist found a clip of her having sex with a black guy.

A magnitude-5.1 earthquake blew Los Angeles' high last night, striking at 9:09pm local time for about 30 seconds, with at least five aftershocks ranging 2.7-3.6. Authorities across all affected counties have confirmed gas leaks, water main breaks, and a rock slide near the earthquake epicenter around Brea in Orange County, California, just 20 miles south of L.A.

Antonin Scalia, the longest-serving active justice of the Supreme Court, has a great deal of charm at his disposal, in person. From a distance, it’s easy to imagine Scalia as a sort of aloof, smoldering demon, throwing cruel barbs at popular notions about justice and progress. Yet he is dear friends with Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

President Putin called President Obama Friday afternoon to discuss possible diplomatic solutions to the crisis in Ukraine. Obama "urged Russia to support this process and avoid further provocations, including the buildup of forces on its border with Ukraine," according to a White House press release.

You don't really need context to enjoy a dozen sheep (and one sheepdog) running through the halls of the Louvre, but here it is anyway.

The detrimental effects of America's class system from birth to death, illustrated in 18 charts. Povertylicious.

The actor who played Brian, the flair-obsessed Chotchkie's waiter from Office Space, has lost a lawsuit in which he accused 20th Century Fox of using his image to sell "illegal flair."

Vocativ has published a lengthy profile of Marcus Ewert, who bedded not one Beat, but two: Allen Ginsberg and William Burroughs. This all started in 1988 — Ewert was 17, Ginsberg (who'd later come out as a member of NAMBLA) was 62, and Burroughs was 74. Ginsberg had his way with Ewert and then passed him onto his friend Burroughs, whom Ginsberg decided could use a good lay.

The market has soured on cheap citrus: In the past year, the price of limes—or, as experts are calling them now, "green gold"— has skyrocketed, reaching heights never before seen.