A new startup has figured out how to put an ad in the space that appears on your cell phone screen when you swipe down to refresh it. Cell phone technology is getting better every day.

Stephen Colbert, jealous that Sean Hannity beat him to the punch in befriending anti-government, pro-slavery rancher Cliven Bundy, decided to jump on the bandwagon by giving the conservative "folk hero" his own folk song.

A Phoenix woman is charged with conspiracy to commit bestiality after posting a woman-seeking-horse ad on Craigslist.

Kate Upton's character in The Other Woman, Amber, is at one point referred to as "the boobs" by Cameron Diaz's Carly: "When you put the lawyer, the wife, and the boobs together, you have the perfect killing machine." The movie, in which a man's wife and two mistresses team up for imprecise revenge, treats Kate Upton the actress that way, too.

Cliven Bundy is the racist gift that keeps giving: Not satisfied with his buffoonish press conference yesterday afternoon, the former conservative darling and idiot rancher spoke with CNN's Chris Cuomo this morning about dead cows, racism, Martin Luther King Jr., and Rosa Parks. It went about as well as you'd expect.

The heads of the New Zealand and Australian Defense Staffs salute after laying wreaths beside the Australian War Memorial during a dawn service to mark Anzac Day in London on Friday. Anzac Day honors the men of the Australia-New Zealand Army Corps who died in the World War I battle for Gallipoli, Turkey. Image via Matt Dunham/AP.

Here is a fine example of our oligarchy at work: lobbyists and interest groups and their craven allies are making a concerted effort to financially benefit themselves at the cost of poor people who are literally starving.

Even the sourest among us can probably muster some happy tears for this older man who just found out his life is about to change in the nicest way possible.

Wednesday morning, police found at least 25 dead cats hanging from a tree in an abandoned lot in Yonkers, New York. The cats, most of which were stuffed in plastic bags, were arranged ritualistically throughout the tree, according to Vocativ.

A drunken passenger attempted to break into the cockpit of a Virgin Australia flight from Australia to Indonesia on Friday, causing the pilot to issue a hijack alert.

Variety reports that Seth Meyers will host the 2014 Emmy Awards.

Grand Rapids Griffins player Jordin Tootoo made a sweet little boy's day after giving him his hockey stick during a recent game.

Justin Bieber was detained by customs at Los Angeles International Airport "for routine secondary questioning" after returning from Tokyo. The tiny pop star was questioned for nearly four hours before he was allowed to leave the airport.

"It's a fantastic, really mouth-watering idea. But I really don't know when we are going to get to do it." Martin Freeman spoke recently about a Sherlock one-off special that might come before the next season's premiere.

A 21-year-old Italian man was crushed to death today by a giant crucifix dedicated to the late Pope John Paul II. The tragic event happened just a few days ahead of the Pope's canonization.

Four 10-year-olds were caught buying and selling their grandparents' pot on a playground in Colorado this week. One young man made $11.

Not all traffic in L.A., just the portion of it that happened to be crawling down the Pacific Coast Highway when a naked gentleman started flailing his arms through the sunroof of his very expensive car.

A simple, aw-shucks der-der-der cattleman with an arsenal and a drawl has captured the American conservative imagination. And vomited racist bile all over our dreams. But no worries, because he fixed it all with a Thursday afternoon press conference! Hear the man defend himself:

The NYPD's great week of publicity continues: Thursday night, an allegedly drunk on-duty NYPD officer shot his partner in the wrist while the two were drinking at a restaurant in Queens.

It is widely understood within the insurance industry that some forms of insurance are merely polite window dressing; if a $100 billion hurricane hits Florida, for example, homeowners are fucked. Now, investors are increasingly betting on no disasters happening. What could go wrong?