Florida Man can't say "fuck." At least not in Neptune Beach, soon, if there's a witness.

This has been a depressing week for female journalists, so let's celebrate one at the end of it.

I saw Godzilla earlier this week and have thought about it on my own precisely zero times since then. Gareth Edwards' take on the classic is as great-looking as it is dumb. It conveys enormity extremely well, as well should a movie that stars monsters who dwarf skyscrapers. For all of his twitching, nostril-flaring, and saliva-string-producing, Godzilla has never looked more life-like (or zaftig—check out that thick neck, bro). His nemeses, a pair of giant cockroaches called MUTOs, looked real enough to mildly nauseate me.

Selected Air Force members, men and women, will be able to take three years off from the military to start families, a mirror of a recent pilot program by the Navy. It's a pretty novel idea. Almost as novel as paid parental leave, but not quite.

Columbia University plans to create a second rape-crisis center on campus and add staff positions to help it "deal with the issues of sexual assault and related misconduct," the school's president, Lee Bollinger, announced yesterday. The university also intends to add Title IX investigators on campus and to create a new position of executive vice president for student affairs, with responsibility for overseeing sexual-assault claims.

The academy. It claims to stand for inclusiveness and diversity and voices of dissent. But what happens when students decide to vote with their feet—their bare feet—and a professor calls those students "hillbillies"? Well sir, you've got a discrimination problem.

The body of a missing New Jersey woman was found Wednesday in a shallow grave, where police say she was buried alive by her landscaper and another man.

One might imagine the inescapable joy, but also terror, of experiencing sunshine and grass for the first time. One might also imagine that joy multiplying many times over if you happen to be a beagle.

Mariah Carey debuted disco throwback song "You Don't Know What To Do" (from Me. I Am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse) earlier on Today. This is exactly the kind of stuff she should be making. If this is a single, it could be the song of the summer (or at a personal summer jam favorite). You've been warned.

A woman is evacuated from her home in Obrenovac, a town 18 miles southwest of Belgrade, Serbia, on Friday. Serbian authorities are considering full evacuation of Obrenovac, inhabited by roughly 25,000 people, as the local rivers have flooded most of the town's residential areas. Image via Marko Drobnjakovic/AP.

Before performing her Top 5 hit "Fancy" on last night's Jimmy Kimmel Live, Australian rapper/drag queen Iggy Azalea helped prep the squares in Kimmel's audience by rephrasing the lyrics of the song's first verse and hook. Her in-between accent as she recites (but doesn't quite rap) her lyrics is utterly bizarre, and Kimmel's translations are for the most part hilarious.

"Zen." Roll the world over in your mouth. "Zzzzennnn." Do you taste it? I can, but I spent years practicing that. Years. Don't expect to get there on the first day.

Heather Hironimus and Dennis Nebus had a son, Chase, in 2010. In 2012, they signed a parenting agreement which said, among other things, that the father would be responsible for scheduling and paying for Chase's circumcision.

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You can feel it in the air, rising on a zephyr like a handmade sign depicting Obama as the Joker. Operation American Spring is on, people, in the streets of Washington and Baton Rouge and—that's about it, really. But here comes the nutty conservative impeachment revolution!

Hackers in San Francisco (let's imagine this as a real group of people and not key characters in an Aaron Sorkin pilot pitch) provided the new Godzilla movie with unsolicited viral marketing earlier this week by hacking an electronic road sign to read "GODZILLA ATTACK!"

After 53 years on television, Barbara Walters is retiring today (or something). For the 84-year-old's final appearance on the show she helped create and will continue to executive produce, The View, about two dozen women in broadcast journalism joined her onstage to honor the woman who helped pave their way in broadcast journalism, and tell Walters, "Goodnight, Moon!" one last time in front of cameras (maybe). Oprah was there! So was Gayle (of course). Kathie Lee and Hoda seemed sober. Elisabeth Hasselbeck wept.

Yesterday, Walmart announced weak earnings in the past quarter. The company blamed the weather. It might do better to blame itself. Walmart's reputation is now so toxic that a major American city is purging itself of investments in the company.

Lee Chingyu, an anchor for Taiwan's Next TV News, choked back tears as she discovered live on air that a friend and colleague at another network had been found dead in an apparent suicide.

Early May 7, a drunk man allegedly stole an idling limo, terrifying its five passengers as he took them on a brief joy ride through Manhattan before crashing.