This week, venerable New York Times film critic A.O. Scott watched Adam Sandler's new movie Blended. The result is a review so scathing, it makes Pete Wells' takedown of Guy Fieri look like a love letter.

President Obama's random public stroll made headlines yesterday, but his impromptu walk recalled a far more bizarre event—Richard Nixon's strange, infamous late-night trip to the Lincoln Memorial.

There's a lot of plausible deniability in a situation involving three dogs and one mess, but not for this incredibly guilty pup.

Sante Kimes, a con artist and murderer who teamed up with her son to kill at least two wealthy socialites in one of the most lurid true crime stories of the 1990's, died in prison this week.

Today the New York Times published a story about Illinois GOP Congressman Aaron Schock’s “popular Instagram persona” and the many (male) admirers his shirtless photos have accumulated. “Popular Instagram persona” is the Times’s clever way of saying “homosexuality.” Just read the story itself.

So here are some things to know about Ames, Iowa, based on this adorable and rather ridiculous video called "Hooray for Ames!" which I swear is not a clip from Parks & Recreation. Ames has very clean water. Commutes to work are no longer than 20 minutes. There are 36 "recreation areas." The spring is mild. Did I mention the water?

Today, Richard Johnson of Page Six published a column on Jill Abramson's firing from the New York Times last week. It's very brief, summed up almost entirely in his first paragraph:

Yesterday, we asked you to share your experiences dealing with the beleaguered Department of Veterans Affairs—the good and the bad. The response was overwhelming. Today, we focus on two accounts that defend the VA, while laying much of the blame for its problems on Congress.

Damn, there's a recall for hummus and walnuts. I'm surprised I'm not already dead.

There's a downtick in Second Amendment paranoia over gun-control legislation that never came to pass, and retailers are jittery about lower gun sales. Says one executive: "[W]e underestimated the decline."

Over the past month, I've watched several people freak out when I've mentioned 19-year-old Chicago singer/rapper Tink's recent song "Don't Tell Nobody." The duet with Jeremih ("Birthday Sex") is compulsively listenable. It's intricately laid out melodrama told in the filthiest of terms. Switching meter nearly every four bars, with more deftness than even Beyoncé in "Drunk in Love," Tink rap-sings the verses, detailing her man's cheating, her thirst for revenge, and her weakness for being unable to let the whole thing go. It's an aural soap opera made by a prodigious talent.

Nineteen-year-old Alyssa Funke, a freshman at the University of Wisconsin-River Falls, bought a shotgun, drove to her family's boat, and killed herself there on April 14. Students at her former high school had outed her as the star of a "casting couch" porn video, and her parents say the subsequent online harassment contributed to her suicide.

Only 112 shopping days left till September 11! Don't miss the chance to serve your favorite smoked mozzarella on a commemorative 9/11 cheese plate.

Mykki Blanco—one of a number of recent queer MCs to puncture hip-hop's shield of heteronormativity—was arrested on Monday in Portugal by a police offer who Blanco claims was homophobic and racist. Blanco also says the cop called him a slur in Portugese that roughly translates to "faggot."

Remember Rep. Vance McAllister? Of course you do. He knows about leaks: leaked videos of him philandering, leaked texts of his guilt. And he would like these stupid tree-huggers to stop trashing the patriotic geniuses who fixed leaking oil pipelines with your dad's station-wagon emergency kit:

With the release of Glenn Greenwald's new book about Edward Snowden, it is once again time to fire up the bizarre parade of media pundits condemning the practice of journalism. Up today: Michael Kinsley.

If you look deep enough into his eyes, you will see through the void and into Heaven, where God will bless you with a divine truth: that Billy Corgan holding cats on a local animal shelter magazine is what will bring us eternal salvation.

John Boehner does not want 500,000 beautiful acres in New Mexico to be designated a national monument. I mean, he does, but Obama wanted it more and, you know, fuck that guy.

Charlie Sheen, a former winner known for portraying the character of "one man" on television, attempted to teach current famous person Rihanna a lesson in celebrity etiquette Thursday by posting an extended angry rant on Twitter.

Kiev's mayoral candidate for the Internet Party, "Darth Vader," arrives to speak to the media on Volodymyrska Hill on Thursday in Kiev, Ukraine. Ukraine's Presidential elections are to be held on Sunday. Image via Dan Kitwood/Getty.