Jen Selter, the fitness model who became a star on Instagram because of all the work she's put into developing her personal brand—which, in this case, is a euphemism for "butt"— celebrated her 21st birthday in Vegas over the weekend. Also there was Dan Bilzerian, another Instagram star known mainly for his millions of dollars and the time he threw a porn star off the roof of his mansion and missed the pool.

Here you will find a story that will make you seriously question whether an ingredient in your Colgate Total toothpaste is disrupting your endocrine system, reducing your fertility, and damaging your baby's bones. (This should not be interpreted as medical advice!)

Barneys New York has reached a settlement—in the form of $525,000 in fees and penalties—in an investigation launched last year following accusations that the company was targeting minority customers. The nine-month investigation led by New York Attorney General Eric T. Schneiderman found a "disproportionate number of African-American and Latino customers being detained for alleged shoplifting or credit card fraud."

During a Breaking Bad marathon last night, AMC slipped in a few seconds of the show's upcoming spin-off Better Call Saul, which is set to bow in February. It features Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) making a lame joke comparing lawyers to health insurance. (I think the joke is that Saul makes bad jokes.)

If a bike thief didn't know he'd slipped up when he snatched Aaron Rush's new mountain bike, he's certainly aware of it now. Rush posted a "Dear Douchebag Bike Thief" letter all over the racks where the theft occurred, and it's since spread across Twitter and a number of U.K. news sites.

The New York Post, a benevolent and storied newspaper, has given the world a list of the ten subway stops in New York City where you'll find the most attractive people—nay, sexiest people.

Circa 2009, the highest honor available to a weird local news video was a remix by the Gregory Bros., the nerdy internet band famous for Auto-Tuning the 2008 presidential debates. But blatant, T-Pain-style Auto-Tune has long since gone out of fashion, and it's been a while since we've had an Antoine Dodson or a Sweet Brown.

VICE News has dropped part two of its mesmerizing five-part behind-the-scenes look at the "Islamic State," and it is a maddening inside look at how the militant movement sweeping Iraq and Syria recruits young boys, uses UN humanitarian aid, and hides away women.

It's sorority rush week at the University of Alabama, and over 2,250 girls—the most to ever rush at Alabama or any school in the country—are currently marching from house to house, grit-smiling their way through small talk and idiotic skits in the hopes of becoming Chi Os or KDs. This is just one year after the student paper revealed that these all-white organizations purposely blocked black women from membership well into the 21st century.

BuzzFeed, an air-conditioned content factory headquartered in New York City, is quite a bit richer today, thanks to a $50 million investment from the powerful Silicon Valley venture capital outfit Andreessen Horowitz. The news was announced in a lengthy write-up in today’s New York Times Business section:

If last month's Comcast customer service débâcle, where a "rep from hell" kept Ryan Block and his wife on the phone for 20 minutes while they desperately tried to cancel their service, didn't convince you to record all your customer service calls, this new one just might. As Virgil said to Dante, let us descend now into even greater woe.

America has an incarceration crisis. We imprison a much larger percentage of our citizenry than anyone else. We need to fix this. We do not need to fix it by selectively imprisoning people for futurecrimes that have not yet occurred.

The Safeway on Georgia Ave. and Randolph was a disaster. Rotten meat regularly rested on refrigerated shelves and the stench spilled into the parking lot. Several floor tiles were broken or missing altogether. Produce was wilted or soft on good days and spoiled or moldy on bad days. Shopping carts were often broken down and covered in sticky grime.

Payday loan companies screw customers with annual interest rates as high as 1900%, and base their entire business model on the fact that desperate debtors will never be able to pay them back. On the latest Last Week Tonight, John Oliver explained all the ways they're fucking you, in uncomfortable detail.

The NYPD continues its crackdown on Times Square's fake superheroes and cartoons, arresting two Iron Men, an Elmo, and a Spider-Man over the weekend on disorderly conduct charges. Police were handing out fliers Saturday informing tourists, "Photos with costumed characters are free. Tipping is optional."

"I just returned from the border with shocking new video—video that will outrage you," James O'Keefe III writes. "I dressed up like Osama bin Laden and crossed the Rio Grande river from Mexico to the United States." This will be just the thing to make right-wing ratfuckery sexy again!

In the closest World Yo-Yo Contest in years, held in Prague, young American Gentry Stein narrowly edged out Japan's Takeshi Matsuura to become the new 1A freestyle world champ.

They aren't even trying anymore. For its 27th year of weeklong shark-oriented programming on the Discovery Channel, Shark Week returned last night with Shark of Darkness: Wrath of Submarine. Like last year's Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives, it was a bullshit mockumentary production, something the Blair Witch would have scraped off her shoe.

Inevitable Democratic candidate for president in 2016 Hillary Clinton rocked Matt Drudge's world this weekend when she criticized President Obama's foreign policy in an interview with The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg. Clinton, who gave the interview before Obama authorized airstrikes on ISIS in Iraq, said the president's "failure" to intervene in Syria allowed jihadists to come to power in the region.

Malcolm Gladwell, my fellow Canadian, in his youth apparently attended some weddings. Among these weddings was that of his purported best friend, Craig, to a woman named "Leigh." As he tells us in a story excerpted the Guardian over the weekend, Gladwell did not like Leigh.