Miley Cyrus was not the only celebrity trying to stick it to Instagram with her nipples this weekend. Chelsea Handler, who has long opposed the Facebook-owned photo app's double standard for male versus female toplessness, went topless again Friday as part of her ongoing #FreeTheNipple protest.

Congratulations are due to one Sofia Vergara, who is engaged to be married for the second time this year, according to E! News. Vergara is reportedly set to wed Magic Mike actor Joe Manganiello, who by his own account convinced Vergara to date him this year after he called her his "celeb crush" in People magazine. B-list stars—they're just like us!

In the ongoing saga that is the New York Post's egregious faceblindness, another instance of mistaken identity slipped into the paper today when the death of Staten Island man Eric Garner was rewritten with US Attorney General Eric Holder in his stead. For the full (and corrected online) article, "It's the lawlessness," you can click here.

Don't fucking cheat on Cassy, aka @NessLovnTrey247 (she really likes Trey Songz), because she finds out everything.

Chanteuse Alicia Keys and her husband Swizz Beatz, a Harvard business school student, got the gift of a lifetime over the Christmas holiday weekend: a son, Genesis Ali Dean.

Smoochy smoochy smooch. New Year's Eve is but two days away. Who you gonna kiss come midnight? For no discernible reason, Quinnipiac University conducted a poll: "Would you rather ring in 2015 on a date with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Gov. Andrew Cuomo or NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio?"

The Scottish government confirmed on Monday that a healthcare worker who recently traveled from West Africa has tested positive for Ebola in Glasgow. The patient has been isolated at a special unit for infectious disease at Gartnavel Hospital and will soon be transferred to Royal Free Hospital in London.

You might have missed some must-see TV last week, namely the Dec. 26 episode of Wheel of Fortune, when word nerd Matt DeSanto guessed "The Lone Ranger" with only one letter revealed. "The wheel definitely worked in my favor," DeSanto told the Today show. "I was extremely fortunate."

Detectives arrested a registered sex offender Saturday while he was allegedly in the midst of downloading child pornography on the free Wi-Fi at a Hillsboro, Ore., Starbucks.

Is Beyoncé still in Iceland? It is vitally important that she get this message, which is: Solange needs to borrow $55,ooo. According to TMZ, the state of California has issued a tax lien against her for allegedly failing to file taxes from 2010-2012.

In 2014, lifelike ponytail Ariana Grande went from "that girl from Nickelodeon" to one of the biggest divas on the planet. Allegedly. Throughout the year, gossip stories piled up on this website and others detailing the precious pop star's terrible antics. We loved it! But was any of it true?

I'm not "too cool" to admit that Dave Barry was funny. Dave Barry was funny. Was funny. I'm saddened to announce that Dave Barry's funny days are now over.

Chester "Chet Haze" "Son of Tom Hanks " "Man of the World, Man of the People" Hanks was back on Instagram last week giving the world what we demand: more characters! Chet, it's been a while since we could embrace your character acting and alter egos. What's this? Bless you. Prayers have been answered, for we were all waiting. A new alter ego!

Earlier this year, Daniel Radcliffe made it cool (sort of) for white people to attempt Gift of Gab's tongue-twisting recital from "Alphabet Aerobics" with his performance on the Tonight Show. The trend continues down in Odessa, Tex., where local reporter Kim Powell warmed up for a live shot by reporting the breaking news that artificial amateurs aren't at all amazing.

In February, a heroic IT guy at the New York City Department of Health was martyred from his job for simply remaining true to the fleshy central processing unit that beats between his and every IT guy's lungs. However, new audio shows that while Ronald Dillon's cyborg intentions may have been pure, his roooobot vooooice had serious malfunctions.

Well, she got it. After enduring more humiliation than previously imaginable, after alienating virtually everyone in her immediate circle, and after ignoring the Greek chorus of their collective repulsion, Valerie Cherish (Lisa Kudrow) got her happy ending on last night's Season 2 finale of The Comeback. Her hairdresser/confidant Mickey (Robert Michael Morris) survived another cancer-related scare. She reunited with her estranged husband Mark (Damian Young), who was taken by her willingness to leave the Emmys to rush to Mickey's side in the hospital. And she ended up winning the Emmy she was nominated for, definitively proving her worth in Hollywood, a town that will only have her if she openly debases herself (she did so this time by playing an exaggeratedly unflattering version of herself in an HBO show based partly on her life).

Mystical bong fairy Miley Cyrus is the latest celebrity to post a topless photo on Instagram to protest the site's censorship of ladynipples. Her contribution to the #FreeTheNipple movement survived for nearly an hour yesterday before "some lame ass" "def" ":flag emoji:" "dat shit."

"The largest homes in the U.S. are located in the Provo-Orem, Utah metropolitan statistical area." So there is a reason to live there.

An unidentified 21-year-old burglar is in critical condition at a hospital Bensalem, Penn. after allegedly breaking into a woman's apartment and masturbating on her balcony. He was shot twice while reportedly trying to rob another apartment.

Last Week Tonight won't officially return until Feb. 8, but John Oliver keeps popping up to make delightful videos about how dumb and terrible the holidays are. On the chopping block this week: New Year's Eve, a.k.a The Worst.