♦ Amy Poehler and husband Will Arnett became parents for the first time on Saturday when Amy gave birth to a son, Archie. [Us]
♦ Madonna is in "meltdown mode," and asked her assistant to gather all the items she received from Guy Ritchie so she can "bury them." Guy, meanwhile, has reportedly said the couple's marriage began to disintegrate when she started planning their sex life around her workout schedule. [MSNBC, Daily Mail]
♦ Jennifer Hudson is offering a $100,000 reward for the return of her nephew, who went missing on Friday when her mother and brother were fatally shot. [People, Access Hollywood]
♦ Lindsay Lohan doesn't want people thinking she's a lesbian just because she's dating a girl. [NYDN]

“The theme will still be ‘Vampires and Victims,’ but with an oh-so-appropriate ‘funeral’ spin." [WWD]

♦ Another bad day ahead? U.S. futures are down sharply after losses in Asia and Europe. [Marketwatch]
♦ The Fed starts making loans to American companies today. [WSJ]
♦ Turns out there were some pretty dark days at Goldman last month: Lloyd Blankfein called Citi chief Vikram Pandit to discuss a merger just after Lehman went bankrupt. [FT, WSJ]
♦ Citadel's Ken Griffin remains in the hot seat after rumors of steep losses led him to hold a rare conference call on Friday evening. [NYP, NYT]

Though they may lavish Wall Street Journal reporters with leaks and other scoops, American corporate executives tend to keep their names out of the newspaper's editorial pages. Overt support for the opinion section's relentlessly right-wing politics carries too much risk of customer blowback. But FedEx founder and CEO Fred Smith will tolerate no such sissiness. A former George W. Bush fraternity brother, Smith was named as a possible Bush defense secretary and has become involved with John McCain's presidential run. Fair enough. But Smith has to figure many customers might take it personally when tells the Journal opinion section "a majority of the population" is unproductive and greedy:

Is there any doubt left that comedian Tracy Morgan's character on 30 Rock — Tracy Jordan — is basically the actor himself, as reimagined by former Saturday Night Live castmate Tina Fey? If Morgan's comments to Us Weekly earlier this month didn't confirm that, the following vignettes from this week's New York magazine profile should finish the job nicely:

It is easy to be so taken by Arianna Huffington's charm and personal history that one loses sight of the big picture. Just ask the New Yorker's Lauren Collins, whose profile of the Huffington Post publisher had too much on Huffington's yoga and sleeping habits and not enough about how she operates her business. The Times, too, seems to be overly concerned with personal narratives this morning, educating readers at length about how Huffington and royalist competitor Tina Brown went to fancy London parties together in the 1970s and both dated older men, so they're friendly rather than cutthroat competitors. Whatever. The real question: How is either of these money-losing publishers going to attract advertising?

Bob Dylan's new album of outtakes, "Tell Tale Signs," has some great countrified blues numbers for coping with the coming depression. And in a seeming nod to the tough times, the folksinger streamed the album for free on NPR's website for a week ("Bob Dylan Understand The Weak Economy," said the Times). And yet when the compilation finally dropped earlier this month, aficionados had to pay $130 to get all 39 tracks. That you could buy a smaller, poor man's version for the usual $20 or so was no consolation to hard-core online fans, some of whom vowed to aid and abet piracy in an act of revenge. They shouldn't get too flustered at their hero, judging by Gustavo Turner's review in the Boston Phoenix. You can safely blame Dylan's "mafia" entourage.

You're the leader of a global jihad and spend all your time fleeing from cave to cave and plotting only the vilest of terror attacks (gotta stay focused!). But extremist Middle Eastern editors are burning up your satellite phone with urgent demands for a book on how one "dispenses money, logistical support and training to radical groups in over 50 countries." Decentralized management is so hot right now! What's a would-be martyr to do? If you're Osama bin Laden, the answer of course is to hire a ghostwriter. Per Pakistan's Geo TV (via Times of India):

Granted, most of the trends associated with the presidential campaign are morbidly depressing, from hateful posters to bigoted screaming at rallies to Sarah Palin's sad and frightening interview flubs. But in the last few weeks before the election, a flurry of campaign-inspired "yo momma" jokes have taken their rightful place alongside Tina Fey's Palin impression and Chris Rock's "Hillary Lost!" routine as among the rare bright spots. Tech executive Anil Dash got the ball rolling on his Twitter stream last week (see headline to this post!) and the jokes just kept snowballing. "Yo mama so fat, McCain refers to her as 'Those Ones,'" wrote loresjoberg. More:

There's something gnawing at you long after you have read Ginia Bellafante's profile of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's not the fact that they won't be interviewed together, it's not that they employee 18 people in their Dualstar company, and it's certainly not that Ashley is the sadistic mastermind of the two. No, it's the fact that the Olsens say they want to build "a true America brand." If these two aim to achieve world domination through marketing, what exactly do they want with America?The details of the Olsens' forward march don't come until the end of the NYT piece, but it's important to digest every word:

Heroes star Hayden Panettiere spoke at aerial art event for her Save the Whales Again! campaign yesterday, where supporters rallied to form a giant human pilot whale. While we applaud the young starlet's initiative in fighting the destruction of a vital species, we can't help but think there's something more behind her advocacy. Click to unravel a plot most sinister: like National Treasure, but a blog post.We can't blame Hayden for being excited about her first election, and she connected her pet cause to get out the vote efforts yesterday. We don't doubt her sincerity, but a series of clues points to a different explanation for her actions.

TMZ has entered a comfortable détente with the celebs it covers and the lawyers they employ. That's the contention of managing editor Harvey Levin in an article in today's NYT, where he argues that the celebs court all the publicity the site gives them. Is there an end in sight to the war between the paparazzi and the people they cover? Find out after the jump.Levin dismisses legal efforts to restrict the movement of the paparazzi as ineffective and difficult to police given how much photogs can make from the photos. He sees a different model emerging:

A horrifying true crime tale is unfolding today in our neighboring state. In South Brunswick the bodies of couple Michael and Kathleen Maltese were found in a park, and suspicion quickly pointed to their son, Michael A. Maltese, and his girlfriend Nicole Taylor. In a twist reminiscent of the current direction of Showtime series Dexter, the two decided to subsequently get engaged. It might not be Truman Capote macabre, but the full story will disturb you.The elder Maltese and his wife Kathleen were reported missing on October 17th, and they were found today in a park two miles from the mobile home where they lived. The two killers had been living on an inflatable mattress on floor of the victims' trailer home. The bodies were dumped into the shallow grave. The Star Ledger characterized the alleged mastermind:

Yesterday we reported on our enjoyment of the Minnesota senate race between Republican Norm Coleman and comedian Al Franken. Today a blogger has posted a mailer from the National Republican Senatorial Committee that looks like a cozy children's book. Among other things, the mailer alleges Franken derives pleasure from writing rape jokes. Click for more really offensive cartoons from the Coleman book.The mailer opens with a pedophile opening his door:

Candid presidential photography simply does not get any better than JFK and Jackie O. Let's face it — the guy just never looks bad, and his wife was one of the most photogenic women ever. We're praying for a reincarnation of the two's glamour in about nine days. Until then, click to see them candid or staged, and enjoy the nostalgic ride.Not to bring up Mad Men again, but tonight's finale takes place during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and SNL did have Jon Hamm as JFK. That's all the justification we need to revel in these snapshots:

The New York Times perfected the art of running the same story over and over again, and they're at it today with an article about criminally young American Spectator managing editor J. Peter Freire. Like every story about talking head training camps, the details of the transformation to more effectively communicating what a producer slips you ten minutes before you go on are gruesome, filling you with the same sad feelings of despair. Must you do this to us every time, Gray Lady?This trend piece has already been covered by NPR and other outlets, but it never gets old. Once an intern at the rabidly conservative publication, Freire's a good-looking, eloquent guy. It took about five seconds for conservatives to conclude, "This man needs to be on television representing our views all the time." The story that follows conjures a creepy Shelley-esque transformation into a fitter, happier pundit:

This weekend featured massive layoffs at the New Jersey paper The Star-Ledger - try 50 percent of their newsroom staff. Fortunately a few new gigs are popping up. Liberal journalist Joshua Micah Marshall has no doubt requested one of the more annoying resume deluges in recent memory by announcing today that his Talking Points Memo site will look to add two full-time Washington reporters (with health care). Since most sites have cut back on political reporting because of the anticipated post-election downturn, this is inspiring news for everyone who doesn't have to read the cover letters in Marshall's inbox. [TPM]

In 2005 Abbas Kowsari was allowed to photograph the graduation ceremonies of female cadets graduating from Iran's police academy, and his images are featured in the fall issue of The Paris Review. Any small note of progress in a repressive society is a good thing, but the import of female cadets pales in comparison to the awesomeness of these photos, staged by one of Iran's hottest rising politicians. Michael Bay may have a new property.

When we woke up this morning, we thought it had been a mere dream. It wasn't...it wasn't. Sean Combs' latest spread in L'Uomo Vogue with his daughters D'Lila Star Combs and Jessie James Combs was a reality. But after thinking this photo through, we've come to an unexpected conclusion. It's all part of Diddy's master plan.I admit I carry a soft spot for the one born Sean John Combs. With Diddy the good always seemed to outweigh the bad. Despite the amount of acrimony he's absorbed in his short time on this planet, Sean Combs will be one of those figures we look back on fondly. Even if you're just pretending to have a social conscience, hell, even if you're just pretending that you have lots of friends at your big party, it's tough to feel anything but a little bit sad for all the guy has gone through.

For Mad Men's slender but loyal viewership, SNL's Don Draper's Guide to Picking Up Women sketch peeled back the hard, handsome mystery of the adultering marketing genius underneath. On tonight's season finale, Don's silent journey into the abyss best get some resolution. And if you haven't sampled the best show on television before, you now have another reason to.For the past two seasons, Jon Hamm's character has been on a journey to find himself, drinking profusely and cheating on his wife to soothe his aching psyche and add to his bone list. With a massive lack of onscreen dialogue in this season's L.A. Story arc, Don Draper has said less and done more than any character on TV, as SNL so aptly reminded us: While we remain fascinated by every single aspect of Don's life, audiences haven't been as kind to the silent giant of Sterling Cooper. Despite being the best show on television, Mad Men's ratings haven't appreciably improved: it attracts about 1.5 million viewers weekly compared to CSI's 19 million plus audience. Does Matthew Weiner's masterpiece have to be like The Wire where the larger viewing public doesn't really get it until the show is in its last throes? The preview video for tonight's finale of Mad Men joins a discussion between the junior copywriters of Sterling Cooper about what exactly their sexaholic mastermind boss is doing in Los Angeles. One speculates he's landing a big fish, another says he's done this before. Let's just be sure to wrap it up one way or another, Weiner. Click to view