Have you ever watched videos of voracious photographers hounding celebs on TMZ.com and said to yourself, "I really wish that was me!"? Here's your chance: A company called Celeb4aday.com promises to provide you with "your very own paparazzi experience." The "Megastar" package will provide you with six paparazzi photographers, a limo, publicist, and bodyguard, and while there's no guarantee the entourage will get you a table at the Waverly, your self-esteem should get a nice boost. [Page Six Mag]

♦ Tom Brady has taken his condo at the Time Warner Center off the market for the second time this year, reportedly because his tenant, a new mom, "refuses to let brokers inside." The 65th-floor unit was most recently listed at $17.75 million. [P6]
♦ The price of Brooke Astor's duplex at 778 Park Avenue was cut down a bit more than originally anticipated a week ago. It now can be yours for $34 million. [NYT, Corcoran]
♦ Prisma Capital founder Girish Reddy paid $8.35 million for a ninth-floor spread at 101 Central Park West, where his new neighbors will include Robert A.M. Stern and financier Peter Briger. [Cityfile]
♦ Social staple Carol McFadden, whose husband George was killed in a plane crash earlier this year, has put her penthouse apartment at the Metropolitan building up for sale. It's on the market for $8.9 million. [NYT, BHS]

Not a moment too soon, the prospective first ladies have received some invaluable advice on how to handle life in the White House from Holly Peterson, socialite and esteemed author of The Manny, who appeared on Fox over the weekend just moments after stumbling out of bed, judging by her unbrushed hair and croaky voice. Not that this detracted from the depth of her wisdom, as you'll see.

We're as excited as anyone about Whitney Port's forthcoming reality show The City, but we don't want the poor thing overdoing it in order to satisfy the voracious demands of the cameras. Port tells the Daily News: "There are times when I'm working so much that I just think, 'What am I going to do?' But I just have to roll with the punches and take it day by day—that's something that Lauren taught me to do."

Morgan Stanley has cancelled its series of holiday parties. But at least (some) employees will still get big bonuses! [NYP]

Michael Bloomberg will sign his controversial bill extending term limits later today. In the meantime, the public is getting one last chance to sound off on the subject at City Hall. NY1 has live coverage of the public bitchfest. [NY1]

Vogue editor Anna Wintour is 59 today. (Condé Nast employees: consider yourselves warned.) Model Gemma Ward is 21. Playwright Terrence McNally is 69. Theater producer Tom Viertel is turning 67. Dennis Miller is 55. Roseanne is 56. Kate Capshaw—actress and wife of Steven Spielberg—is turning 55. Writer Joe Queenan is 58. And former Massachusetts governor (and presidential hopeful) Michael Dukakis is celebrating his 75th birthday today.

♦ A "crazed" Madonna fan stormed the set of Guy Ritchie's new movie this weekend and threatened to kill him with a 12-inch knife before the 16-year-old was arrested. [Mirror, Daily Star]
♦ Is Ashley Olsen planning to marry boyfriend Justin Bartha in a secret wedding on the French Riviera? That's what the National Enquirer claims! Also: She supposedly wants Karl Lagerfeld to design her dress. [Daily Express]
♦ Joaquin Phoenix was acting "odd" and wobbly at an event in San Francisco last week, and now his friends are worried he's back to drinking and doing drugs. [P6]
♦ Beth Ostrosky and Ryan Reynolds both finished the NYC Marathon yesterday, along with about 35,000 other people. [NYDN]

"I don't have a specific reference in the rules that would make it ineligible." [MSNBC, second item]

• Tina Fey was "frosty" and "awkward" with John McCain on the Saturday Night Live set. Which is weird because McCain has been so polished and friendly in all his other televised appearances. [Scoop]

♦ Treasury officials say as many as 1,800 institutions may apply for government investments in the next few weeks. [WSJ]
♦ GM hasn't been so lucky extracting cash: The Treasury has turned down a request by the automaker for $10 billion to help finance a merger with Chrysler. [NYT]
♦ Henry Kravis's KKR is delaying its plan to go public on the NYSE until 2009. [CNNMoney]

Paris Hilton gave an interview to British tabloid News Of The World which, for some reason, included a picture of her with the ill-kempt reporter. Apparently that's how things work on Fleet Street. Hilton, in any case, made clear that she's ready to move beyond the grasping, body-flashing, blatant-paparazzi-baiting phase of her career to a place where she can act all dignified and above it all, telling the tabloid that her rich, famous ex-boyfriends were only using her for riches and fame:

"Police say the executive who succeeded Jay-Z as the head of hip-hop music label Def Jam Recordings has died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound near Atlanta." [AP]

New York magazine expanded on the legend of MSNBC hotshot Rachel Maddow, revealing her further as a sharp scholar ("I still send students to [her] thesis as a model," says a Stanford professor), unabashed bleeding heart (spending nights "worrying about nuclear proliferation and the Fourth Amendment ") and refreshingly down-to-earth television personality ("There is nothing funnier than a fart"). It also broke the news that the Rachel Maddow Show host now, at long last, owns a television! But then the profile reminded us Maddow got her slot at the expense of a guy in a long-running feud with her advocate Keith Olbermann:

"Thin ties. Well-turned-out men. No sloppiness." [Times]

Neocons the nation over got a little thrill up their legs this spring, when News Corporation overlord Rupert Murdoch said he might uncage the editorial-page pitbulls at his Wall Street Journal to issue presidential endorsements for the first time since Herbert Hoover was president (!). Sure, newspaper endorsements are useless in presidential races, but the Journal's frenzied rantings would have been kind of fun to read, assuming they did not give you rabies. But when the Journal issued its big McCain editorial this weekend, it was just all, "Meh, he's OK."

The troubled New York Times Company is running out of options. It owes more than $1 billion, close to half of it coming due in the next two years. But it just ruled out layoffs for the foreseeable future and will probably try to avoid cutting the $132 million annual dividend, since doing so could spark a boardroom revolt by high-living Sulzberger family members. So it would make sense if the company has been trying to sell About.com, as Jason Calacanis, CEO of search engine company Mahalo, said on the This Week In Tech podcast last week. (Audio of his remarks lies after the jump.)

John McCain was reasonably funny on Saturday Night Live last night, but the show's most entertaining moments came during Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impression in his opening sketch. One was a joke about Palin's $150,000 wardrobe, the other about how she wants to run in 2012. It's funny because Palin's a terrible, out-of-control pick of a running mate and because McCain is broke and doomed. Ha.... ha? In the attached clip, McCain says the SNL gig was to "humanize" him with people who don't watch Meet The Press, but instead it's already being read as a "big... 'fuck you'" to Palin. Credit should probably go to Fey: She's a charmer but will most definitely cut you. Sort of like Palin. Sketch highlights are after the jump.

Sienna Miller filed a lawsuit against a London-based paparazzo Darryn Lyons and his Big Pictures agency in the High Court of London to prevent them from taking photographs of her. Whether she's filing the lawsuit because she's upset about her pending split with Balthazar Getty or because she just hates the paps that much, the British legal system is about to establish another interesting precedent. Since celebrities can't retaliate any other way but in the courts, paparazzi fanfiction is here to let them settle the score.The hardest job in the world next to blogging – and nearly as well-thought of – is following celebrities around with a camera and snapping their every move.

When you protest Scientology, you do it at your own risk. That's what members of the group Anonymous found out last Sunday when they picketed Gold Base, the Church's headquarters in Gilman Hot Springs, Calfornia. The small, peaceful assembly sported signs before one member received a beating from a group of the Church's hired goons. Gold Base is the center of the Church's production arm, and also features a nine-hole golf course. Oh yes, there's also a massive brainwashing operation there called Rehabilitation Project Force.As first reported on Mark Ebner's Hollywood, Interrupted, five members of Anonymous picketed the building with signs, a Church guard screws with their vehicle down the road to get them to trespass onto the Church's property, while setting up a flare to get them to come back to the car. After they dog-tie the member of the group that returns to the truck, the guards strike down another protester. Amazingly, two members of Anonymous were arrested afterwards by the Riverside Sheriff's Department, as they report in their account of the situation. This is typical stuff for the Church, who doesn't just counterattack on YouTube. But of course, as the guy holding the camera says, Anonymous thinks they win if they can bring home footage like this.