The world watched Oprah Winfrey cry as our new Internet President delivered his victory speech. But whose shoulder did she dump mascara on? Sam Perry, a Reuters reporter turned venture capitalist based in Silicon Valley, who had volunteered as a communications director for the Obama campaign. Perry, who's due to appear on her show today, is now a visiting fellow at Stanford University and a consultant to startups. At Reuters, one of the investments he was involved with was Moreover Technologies, a news-aggregation startup cofounded by Valleywag's publisher, Nick Denton. Yes, small world. Watch Oprah sob on Perry:

Let the procession of post-election Obama books begin! Michael Calderone of Politico.com reports that Newsweek reporter (and frequent Keith Olbermann guest) Richard Wolffe just signed a deal with the Random House imprint Crown. The book, Renegade: The Education of Barack Obama, is scheduled to be published in June 2009. [Politico]

We think we might have found Bad Lieutenant's successor for Unholiest Hollywood Remake: Steven Spielberg and Will Smith may partner to adapt the ultraviolent Korean revenge flick Oldboy for American audiences. DreamWorks will produce, Universal will distribute and Smith will reportedly star as a man seeking payback after 15 years of kidnapped captivity. And we will reserve judgment, though we have at least three good reasons not to.Perhaps Smith is just looking for a new screen challenge after mastering his simulated-sex technique, but the kinetic bloodletting of director Chan-wook Park's original — which came one Michael Moore doc shy of winning the Cannes Film Festival in 2003 — won't likely wash with the mainstream. And the watering-down of legendary set pieces like those above won't make friends with the genre geeks lunging into Universal City today with pitchforks and torches. Also, [SPOILER ALERT] Americans don't do incest subplots and ambiguous endings. These aren't exactly tweakable story factors in Oldboy, though perhaps Spielberg can turn Smith's daughter into an alien in some third-act reveal that dazzles us into FX submission. Again, fellas, take our benefit of the doubt, just don't make us regret sharing it. Either way, we know Smith doesn't do live squid (link NSFW), and a California roll just won't be the same. We've changed our mind: Stop this remake.

It only takes hearing so many jokes about Al Gore inventing Twitter to figure out that the former vice president has signed up for the microblogging service. Wisely, he's not really participating in the site, just using it to market his websites and announce his interview with Digg founder Kevin Rose, which airs tonight on Current, the Gore-backed cable channel. Current and Digg have been teaming up for a series of election-related events, including a party on election night. But Rose and Gore's acquaintance goes back almost two years.In late 2006, Gore's Current made an offer for Digg which valued the social-news startup at $100 milion or more. Wonder if Rose and Gore discussed business at all in this interview. As VentureBeat recently pointed out, Digg's traffic is flat, and it hasn't significantly increased its valuation since Rose and Gore's 2006 chat.

As we watch the best comedy on television try to stay alive in the brutal battleground of Thursday night, we respect that the show had to build all of last night's episode around an Oprah guest appearance. (Update: Last night's ratings were down just a bit from the season premiere last week.) But the show reaches its brilliant best with the random flashes sprinkled throughout an episode, succinctly capturing the way that creative types inevitably make everything more difficult for themselves. Last night, Liz Lemon dresses up as Princess Leia, even putting on a throaty voice, just to get out of jury duty. It is strange, but rings very true.The episode's main storyline revolved around the ongoing feud between Tracy Jordan and Jenna Maroney over who has it worse, women or black people. This was largely a contrivance for Oprah's helpful advice — highlighted by Fey's reveal of Oprah's latest favorite things (sweater capes!). The rest of the episode more than made up for the gimmick, especially when Kenneth the Page impressed Jack Donaghy by being overly willing to strangle himself with his own belt to save an elevator full of people. Hopefully the show won't have to work as hard to squeeze in forthcoming spots from Jennifer Aniston and Steve Martin. As long as we get moments like Princess Leia avoiding her American duty by confessing to her ability to read minds, we'll follow you forever, Tina.

Now that our nation has gone and elected a popular black man with no clear signs of dementia as president, it's obvious that our Crisis Of Comedy is a most vital public issue. Nerdy white comedians have no idea how to make fun of Obama! Never fear. We reached out to Jordan Carlos—professional comedian, Stephen Colbert's black friend, and a guy we once tried to assert (unsuccessfully) would be a better Saturday Night Live Obama impersonator than Fred Armisen—for his take on the future of Obama comedy. Exclusive Jordan Carlos Analytical Comedic Essay Below! Barack: This Dude Even Changed Comedy Tuesday By Jordan Carlos The political balance of power may not have been the only thing that shifted Tuesday. The world of comedy got a bit of a shake up too. Though it's difficult to predict the misty future with any certainty, Obama's win does beg a couple of obvious questions; namely, "Do Black comedians have much to complain about anymore?" Now before you tear my nuts off for asking this, let me say I'm just raising this extreme question for the sake of argument. I don't actually think Black people don't have anything to complain about anymore, though cabs were remarkably easier to come by yesterday in the city. But things have changed—and who are many comedians of color, if not people who point to the old saw of differences between white and Black and all the hi-larious inequalities surrounding those differences? Remove that brand of humor from the mix, and what's left for Black comedians to fall back on? Plenty, of course. The world is full of comedic opportunity. But it will be intriguing to see how audiences will respond when a Black comic moans about the everyday racial politics he or she faces when a Black person holds the highest office in the land. For anyone who can do an impression of Obama, congrats! Your stock just went through the friggin roof! Bush impersonators, report to your local soup kitchen or shanty town. Obama impersonators are guaranteed at least 4 years of career opportunity. For me, a fairer-skinned black dude with newly close-cropped hair and larger-than-average ears, things are looking up. I've already been able to do my impression for TV (once on Headline News and once on a Japanese morning TV show – Yeah, I know. What the F?) and I look forward to at least four more years of it. Though I was asked by the folks at Gawker to give my take on Fred Armisen's impression of Obama, I'm gonna have to pass. Other art forms encourage a lover's quarrel among artists – boisterous roundtables and bustling salons, etc. — comedy, not so much. Take it from me, comics are a sensitive bunch – me more than most (we're not talking Kanye West levels here, but you get where I'm going with this). We want to be liked (obveeez!!!). Did I dance around that enough? You can watch my Obama impression here, OK? [Ed.: And also here] I think the existential question of what comedians can complain about now is shared by not only Black comedians, but also the good folks at The Daily Show and Real Time with Bill Maher. They got what they wanted, right? So now what? Feast on Obama like they did Bush? That would be kinda weird. Recently on his show Bill Maher declared a new rule: that President-elect "Obama must give comedians something to work with." When questioned about this statement by America's favorite old man, Larry King, Maher said, "But look, [Obama]'s going to be the president and we're going to have to get over our nervousness about making fun of a Black person. He's not a black person. He's the president." OK, Maher lost me at the whole, "he's not a black person" bit, but you get what he's trying to say. Eventually ALL comedians are going to have to take off the kid gloves and skewer the newly anointed commander in chief. How they do it will be something that I, for one, am interested to see. To me there's plenty you can make fun of when it comes to Obama: — Because of him the high concept movie about a jazzy black dude being president is dead and over. —People maybe just maybe expect too much from him. —He's got huge, honking ears. —You can make fun of the fact that it's hard to make fun of him. —You kind of have to do a lot of self-deceiving to back the guy (doesn't believe in gay marriage, tough on immigration, tosses friends when they become political liabilities – Rev. Wright, Ayers). —He may kinda owe Oprah a place in his cabinet. —Does Jesse Jackson still want to cut his nuts off like he said? And why the hell was he front-row Chicago victory rally after saying something like that? Obama must have known he said that. Where's my front row seat? I didn't call for castration. You could make sketches out of all that stuff and more if you've got the salt. You should always be able to laugh at your leaders – even if they're awesome people who happen to be Black. Click to view

Yesterday we shared with you New York City's most expensive apartment rentals, just in case you haven't been killed in the market these past few weeks (or maybe you won the Powerball a few weeks ago?) and have been looking to upgrade to a fantastic apartment without making a long-term commitment. Today we've rounded up the 20 most expensive apartments for sale in the city. Pick up an overpriced co-op on Park Avenue for $30 million and you'll sleep better at night knowing you played a key role in boosting the city's ailing economy! (At the very least, you'll know you paid for a few years of private school for some lucky real estate broker.) One note: This list only includes "official" listings, which means apartments that are only rumored to be for sale (such as Richard Ullman's $75 million penthouse at 15 CPW or Courtney Sale Ross' duplex at 740 Park) aren't represented. But there's plenty of overpriced property to choose from regardless!

Wikipedia, to cofounder Jimmy Wales's eternal dismay, is a nonprofit project rather than a lucrative private enterprise. The online encyclopedia, home to volunteer-written disquisitions on subjects like the umlaut in names of heavy metal bands, hopes to raise $6 million this year in a fundraising drive now featured in prominent ads on the top of most pages on the otherwise ad-free site. How's it going?An online thermometer, which has popped on and off the site, shows that the effort has raised $2,155,883 towards its $6 million goal. But that figure is meant to deceive potential donors about the level of Wikipedia's grassroots support. It started out $2.1 million ahead, by counting previously made donations from large organizations like the Sloan Foundation, which has already agreed to give Wikipedia $3 million over the course of three years. But that's not what has Wikipedia's volunteer editors up in arms. They're calling the donation banner "ugly." They're debating how to make it easier to hide. They're even questioning whether the foundation should be asking them for money at all, since they already contribute their labor. On a Wikipedia mailing list, Nathan Awrich sums up the reaction:

Here's an ominous sign: Google is now apparently looking to sublet space in its New York offices at 111 Eighth Avenue. $80 a square foot! Prices negotiable! Contact CB Richard Ellis for more! [SAI]

A group of Oxford researchers have compiled a list of the "Top 10 Most Irritating Expressions in the English language." Awesome! Now we know what we need to stop saying so we don't alienate everyone we know. The number one offender? "At the end of the day." Click through for the rest of the list is below, although we must admit we were a little disappointed to see that "for all intents and purposes" didn't make the cut.

Though Hillary Clinton was once seen as the inevitable pick in this year's presidential election, the first stain on her pantsuit may have come as early as February 2007, when gay mafia don/beach hog David Geffen broke ranks with the Clintons to endorse Barack Obama. "I don't think that another incredibly polarizing figure, no matter how smart she is and no matter how ambitious she is — and God knows, is there anybody more ambitious than Hillary Clinton? — can bring the country together," Geffen told New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd then, as his second assistant provided a helpful yes-man chorus of "Oh snap!" and "No she did not just say that!" Now, the LAT's Patrick Goldstein has caught up with Geffen to get his thoughts on Obama's once-unlikely victory, and Geffen dropped this tidbit about his own kingmaking ability:

It's a well-known fact that young people can't listen for shit. But Britain's Lord Chief Justice (yes, that's his actual title) has decreed that twentysomethings are so bad at it, he's actually considering presenting information on a screen, for the young jurors used to texting and web-surfing their lives away. "Most are technologically proficient. Many get much information from the internet... They are not listening. They are reading." Reports the Telegraph, "In one case a juror went online using a Blackberry-device during a rape case, causing the conviction to be quashed." God forbid we inconvenience some Twitter-twits with old-fashioned courtroom rules. Maybe we should just all learn to listen. It doesn't just help you as a juror—it's great for personal relationships, too!

Remember Clarium Capital, the $7 billion hedge fund run by former PayPal CEO Peter Thiel? Oops: Make that the $5.2 billion hedge fund run by Thiel. The fund was down 18 percent in October alone. August was also a disastrous month, as Thiel's bets on the economy went sour. After running up 58 percent from January to June, it's now down 3 percent for the year. Thiel is also an investor in Facebook, but that doesn't seem like much of a hedge right now.

It's a Zen-worthy philosophical riddle: If all the boldfaced names who turn up to a store opening deny that they themselves would dream of wearing the clothes, does that neutralize the PR value of their presence? At the launch of Juicy Couture's Fifth Avenue flagship last night, the guest list was a publicist's wet dream—or would have been—if The Transom hadn't asked people what they thought of the label.

O At Home—the quarterly magazine for those who liked Oprah but were exclusively concerned with her take on home furnishings—has folded. Its content will be absorbed back into the mothership, O magazine. Simultaneously, O At Home's former editor, Sarah Gray Miller, is becoming the editor-in-chief at Hearst knick-knack mag Country Living. Much of the rest of the magazine's staff will surely be laid off today. It's becoming quite clear that folding magazines is becoming the new favorite version of the Friday News Dump technique, so we reserve the right to tell you about more magazines folding later on today.

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your guide to everything new, noteworthy and/or intolerable this week at the movies. Another competitive fall weekend yields perhaps the season's biggest blockbuster alongside David Wain's studio breakthrough, not to mention choice candidates for the weekend's biggest disappointment and must-see indie gem. As always, our opinions are our own, but what can we say? We're just in a giving mood!WHAT'S NEW: Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa revives the DreamWorks zoo-animal-on-the-loose franchise this weekend in the hopes of pulling down as much as $60 million — which it might manage, considering High School Musical 3's slowed box-office pace in its third week. Universal deftly counterprogrammed David Wain's R-rated comedy Role Models, featuring Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott as would-be mentors to McLovin and a black kid whose best jokes you've probably already seen in the commercials. That shouldn't stop it from pulling down around $12.6 million while the screeching Madagascar throngs tear down the multiplex around it. Also opening:Stranded: I've Come From a Plane That Crashed on the Mountains, the reenactment-heavy doc about cannibal survivors of a 1972 plane crash in the Andes; the Holocaust drama The Boy in the Striped Pajamas; and the goth horror-musical Repo! The Genetic Opera. THE BIG LOSER: Maybe "loser" is too harsh an estimation of Soul Men's fate, but let's face it: If it weren't the final entry in both Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes's filmographies, it wouldn't likely fare in the top five on any weekend outside the dumping grounds of January or August. But as cynical, posthumous curios go, it'll draw, coaxing up to $9.5 million and possibly cracking the top three. Whatever sells, we suppose.

It couldn't be any more fitting news considering News Corp. announced profits plunged 30 percent last quarter and the company is now contemplating a massive round of job cuts: Tom Stooddart's pic of a depressed-looking Rupert Murdoch for Time nabbed fourth place in the prestigious National Portrait Gallery's annual photo contest. [Animal NY]

Times columnist Maureen Dowd spent a decent chunk of this campaign trying to paint Barack Obama as another effete faggy Democratic wuss, as she did to John Kerry and Al Gore, just because, hey, why not. OBambi was all her, remember? Also she called him a "butterfly." Now, today, she's thrilled Obama won, and certain he'll restore dignity and grandeur to Washington and the White House. Obama "has the chance to make the White House pristine again." Yes, because Washington DC and the White House were certainly pristine before all this, right? Dowd explains how rough the last 16 years have been:

♦ More pain at 4 Times Square: Condé Nast is shuttering Elegant Bride. [Jossip]
♦ Despite the fact Portfolio fired 32 staffers last week, a spokesperson confirms the mag is going ahead with a soirée at the 21 Club later this month. [Page Six]
♦ Not surprisingly, Fox News has landed the first post-election interview with Sarah Palin. Greta van Susteren will sit down with her in Alaska over the weekend; the interview will be broadcast on Monday. [THR]

The layoffs at Hearst this week have already hit Redbook and Good Housekeeping. So as not to be sexist, now they've come to Esquire. We hear the upscale men's mag laid off four editorial employees yesterday, including two editors, and decreed that another open assistant editor position won't be filled. "They gathered everyone together to tell them not to tell anyone the exact number cuz they don't want any media," says a tipster. That's somewhat embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as the spending habits of another layoff-happy mag, the recently decimated Conde Nast Portfolio: According to P6,