Um, remember the retired escort we wrote about earlier, Natalie McLennan, who may or may not have had anything to do with Spitzer's hooker Ashley Dupre? Turns out, she was also cast in a play called Andy and Edie, which was—bizarrely—cast and written by rapist Peter Braunstein, the futuresexcrazyfakefireman who used to work for Women's Wear Daily. He's in jail now obviously.
Happy Travails: When the deeply unlikely sequel to Happiness was announced, the only thing more outlandish than its existence was a cast including Paul Reubens, Emma Thompson, and Demi Moore. Now, Indiewire is reporting that only Reubens remains in the Todd Solondz film, though Paris Hilton has come aboard. Same diff! There's also this first, official summary:
Send Alex Kuczynski some sympathy plastic surgery gift certificates. Because the très public, cosmetic surgery-loving former New York Times high-priced-shopping beat reporter (and now sometimes Times freelancer) may be getting a divorce from her older, bazillionaire husband. Or at least Cityfile is hearing things to that effect! Kuczynski and money man Charles Stevenson have been married for six years, and had a baby by surrogate last April. But, I guess now it could be over. Cityfile's main evidence, I suppose, is the fact that Kuczynski has been laying low of late. She backed out of fashion designer Dian von Furstenberg's recent charity spelling bee (that this exists at all brings immeasurable joy/worry to my heart) and her usual consumerism-crazy Times articles have been in short supply these past few months. In fact, her most recent article was a review of actor Alec Baldwin's new book, I Never Promised You a Rainbow A Promise to Ourselves. And what is that book about? D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Sad if it's true. Though on the bright side, maybe it would leave her more time for fabulous shopping trips and, erm, Idaho orgies.
Oy, chto budet! Sad young literary novelist Keith "Konstya" Gessen, self-exiled to his motherland of Russia, usually confines his rantings to n+1, little-read novels that we make fun of, and his Tumblr. But today, he wrote a Diary column about how the financial crisis is affecting Russia for the London Review of Books. And guess what—we can't even tease him for being pompous and self-important, as is the custom, because we know nothing about how the financial crisis affects Russia. So! We'll publish an excerpt, snark-free, because although we might have an understanding of advanced capitalism as it relates to blog networks or diminished tipping at strip clubs and dive bars, we have no idea about the ruble. Keith, consider this your lucky day.
Duck! It's Channing Tatum's Balls! True, it's not likely to be any deeper than the first two, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be excited about Step Up 3D— which from the poster involves an intercontinental love story between two star-crossed dancers from either side of the tracks who keep flinging their HANDS! and FEET! into your face. We're so there. Even though 3D never works on us and gives us a headache. We're there. [Kid Cobra]
Earlier today we told you how oft-sued American Apparel chief Dov Charney is being sued again—this time by Roberto Hernandez, an ex-AA employee who says he was fired from his IT job in 2006 after he refused Dov Charney's request to cook the books to make the company look more financially attractive. His complaint also includes descriptions of AA as a pervy workplace where Charney held staff meetings in the nude. But there's a new development: a source at AA has just sent us a statement that they say Hernandez himself wrote in August, 2006 defending Dov Charney from an earlier lawsuit, contradicting some of same allegations that Hernandez himself is now making: According to our source, Hernandez wrote this statement in 2006—just three months before he was fired—to counter the allegations of Mary Nelson, who sued Dov claiming sexual harassment. Hernandez defends the work environment at AA:
The economic pain continues to trickle down: Cisco is cancelling a two-week sales conference planned for next August in San Francisco. Conferences like this are a combination of boot camp, old-fashioned tent revivals, and frat keggers, held to rev up a company's revenue generators; ostensibly meant to educate salespeople about new products and compensation plans, they more often devolve into debauchery.For Cisco, even the cancellation is a sales opportunity; the company is pitching it as an example of the money-saving potential of its videoconferencing and teleworking products. Boring! Throwing money at salespeople is the best way to make them feel loved — just another sign that Cisco has no real understanding of what a human network really means. It also suggests CEO John Chambers's influence is waning at the company — since this is the kind of event at which his evangelical delivery shines.
The life of an Arrested Development fan is not an easy one. It's ongoing, angina-flaring dice game of will they or won't they—have first-cousin sex? Get a hand-transplant? Get a fourth-season renewal? Or, most recently, make an AD movie. One day it's yes, the next day it's no. That last one was an ouch, as Michael Cera relayed the news via a 25-second rumor-dousing call. (Sweet and sensitive our ass.) But wait—wipe those tears away, for Jeffrey Tambor—quite possibly the most wonderful Bluth of all!—says the movie. Is. Back. ON!. Collider.com reports:
Remember the mysterious Park Sloper who goes by the name Blognigger? He quit blogging at Vice founder Gavin McInnes's website Streetcarnage today with a big fuck-you goodbye on the site itself declaring "OBAMA VICTORY RENDERS HIPSTER 'MOVEMENT' OBSOLETE—Neo-Cynicism Now Strictly For and By the Fags.'" It's very long, very ranty, and very hilarious. Before ol' Gavin—who proudly declared that he didn't bother voting—takes it down, we captured it for posterity. It's a surprisingly snide-yet-sincere post-election call to hope decrying the cynicism of so-called hipster young. Oh, and: "We must never fall into the common retard-trap of allowing ourselves to believe, for even a second, that there’s any deeper 'meaning,' or 'movement' behind our chosen music-and-t-shirt collective."Excerpted from Street Carnage, unless they took it down already: First, social scenes are they are applied to hepcats are analyzed:
A press release from Spencer Stuart, the executive recruiting firm, celebrates a "milestone": More than half of the Silicon Valley companies it tracks now have at least one woman on their boards of directors. This is not the accomplishment they would have you think: Among the boards of companies on the S&P 500, 89 percent have at least one woman, and women make up 15.7 percent of S&P 500 directors, versus 8.9 percent in the Valley. Progress, perhaps, but progress that highlights the tech industry's lingering sexism.
Hurry up and get gay married in Connecticut right now before the voters ban it. Because today it's totally legal! Eight couples sued the state to allow the gay marriages, because Connecticut's civil union law was kinda-sorta unconstitutional, and they won! And today one of those couples, Barbara and Robin Levine-Ritterman, filled out the gay marriage paperwork that will destroy forever your traditional marriage paperwork. So hey, you lose some, you win some, right? You still got Massachusetts too! What lovely places for gay marriages! California can go to hell. New England's like Lesbian Vegas right now. [NYT]
This is going to come as shocking news, we're sure, but it seems convicted con man Raffaello Follieri is not having a fun time in prison. His lawyer submitted a letter to the sentencing judge this week and he reports that Follieri has been horrified to find that "the food looks spoiled, the showers are filthy with excrement and the place smells really bad." And he doesn't have a window either, which would suck in any case, sure, but probably sucks even more when your last apartment was a $37,500-a-month Trump Tower duplex.
LG, Sharp and Chunghwa have agreed to plead guilty. The crime: Coordinating higher prices on flat-screen LCD displays sold to Apple, Dell, Motorola and others. The Department of Justice's antitrust division claims the three companies held meetings and traded messages in order to agree on higher prices for the displays. The DOJ's press release has full details. (Illustration by Plasma.com)
Though MADtv was canceled today, elder sketch comedy statesman Saturday Night Live is still flying high — so high, in fact, that they've finally gotten around to addressing that whole "lack of women" thing! Season breakout Tina Fey wasn't actually a cast member this year (and won't be stopping by anymore), while utility player Amy Poehler is on Archibald-assisted leave, bound for Office-related parts unknown. So what two Los Angelenos has Lorne Michaels brought on to take some of the weight off Kristen Wiig and Casey Wilson?First, we have 21-year-old Abby Elliott (above left), daughter of Chris Elliott (let's hope her tenure goes over better than her dad's brief, mid-90's SNL stint). Abby may be familiar to fans of UCB's Midnight Show, but we discovered her at Defamer back in 2006! Here's Abby playing a quavery-voiced Kirsten Dunst in the impression that won our hearts:
♦ Barneys unveiled its '60s-themed holiday windows this morning, which Simon Doonan was quick to point out only borrow from "the cheery, upbeat aspects of the '60s! No overdoses, assassinations." [NYO]
♦ Downtown is being totally discriminated against by H&M: Only four stores are getting the Comme des Garçons line tomorrow: 51st and Fifth, 59th and Lex, 34th and Broadway, and 34th and Seventh. [Racked]
Ever get so desperate that you'll visit a psychic or voodoo lady to divine a money ritual? (There was once an unfortunate incident with a santeria priest in Brooklyn that we won't get into here....) It's not just for working-stiff Take Five players and superstitious viejas anymore. Professionals are obviously freaking about market turmoil, and many are visiting hypnotists, says the WSJ. Previously, the Journal (reported by Mary Pilon, our former pie-charting Intern Mary) said: "Yesterday I spoke with a stockbroker who has been running six miles a day. Another is popping aspirin. Some are slinking to happy hour after closing bell." So here's one market that's experiencing a recession boon: hypnotists, psychics, and other snake-oil salesmen:
Joan Didion said that writers are always selling somebody out—unless the persons talking to said journalists sell themselves out by participating in magazine profiles despite their illegal work status. (Remember the pot dealer who went on the record, using his real name, for a New York Observer profile? Really bad idea, dude.) Page Six reported this morning on a retired luxury call girl named Natalie McLennan (well-disguised working name: Natalia)— an anonymous website has sprung up, linking her to ratting out Eliot Spitzer's hooker Ashley Dupre. (McLennan denies the accusations, and Dupre's lawyer hadn't heard about the website.) It's alleged that she informed on Dupre to keep the heat off her own prostitution charges. What brought on the heat from the fuzz—other than her engagement to her pimp, jailed escort agency owner Jason Itzler (who was also pimped Dupre in her early days)?Maybe it was her unwise participation in a 2005 New York magazine profile on Itzler, which revealed a ton of biological details that would make her real name easily identifiable for even the most bumbling of PIs—plus photographs that included her face. In 2005, Jason Itzler (Dupre's former pimp and Natalie's current one) was jailed at Riker's after his NY Confidential escort agency was busted. What else do we learn about "Natalia" in the article that might have provided an easy trail for the cops—and possibly pressure her to become an informant in order to save herself?
The commie pinkos behind today's liberal fantasy spoof of the New York Times have released a video communiqué! It's basically a rundown of the printing and distribution and fabulous wonderment of the stunned populace as they considered a world free of bloodshed. The best part comes half way through: Actual NYT employee: "I don't understand what statement they're trying to make. We've been all over the Bush administration since day one. We set the standard for coverage of the Iraq war!" The faceless response: "Like Judith Miller?" NYT Guy: (turns around and leaves). Ha, they're both right! The video is below:
