"Happy 2009 — let's take the year off," will come the refrain from SAG HQ next month, as they today announced Jan. 2 as the date strike authorization ballots go out to its 120,000 members.

Time Europe was gutted last month, and now a tipster tells us that Time Canada is folding completely after its year-end issue. If you know any more, email us.

Now that we know (or are told at least) that Rod Blagojevich's "Senate Candidate 5" is Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr, well, we have almost more questions than we did before. Why was he such a great bargaining chip against Obama in the (admittedly crazy) mind of Blago? Did Obama really not want Jackson to take his seat? Also why did Blago expect he'd get something "tangible up front" in exchange for a Jackson appointment? That last question seems to hinge on an unnamed "Individual D." Try to guess who we are wildly speculating that is!

Open bars are de riguer at media parties, and they're just about the only fringe benefit of working in this godforsaken industry. But what happens when the parties themselves start to disappear, like what's happening this holiday season? NO MORE FREE BOOZE! Portfolio's Mixed Media reports that there is a new group called "ASSME: the American Society of Shitcanned Media Elites"—which I guess I should probably join—that will carry on the noble tradition of an open bar in season where everyone else is a god-damned Scrooge. If you're laid-off and broke, you can still keep on drinking—at least for one magical night.

As if it wasn't bad enough the MTA is thinking about raising fares and experimenting with the idea of removing the seats (so as to more efficiently pack people into the cars), now it appears the agency has come to the conclusion that we don't need windows either. Because, really, what better way is there to stimulate demand for a cool, refreshing beverage than to pack lots of people into an windowless aluminum canister? [Gothamist]

· Not all is bleak for female directors: Betty Thomas has landed a gig on Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel! [THR]

After the jump: What beloved Goonie is joining Matthew Perry at Showtime?

A source has given us the names of some of the high-profile employees who are (alleged) victims of today's layoffs at NPR. If true, it's apparent that NPR definitely wasn't sparing anyone just because they had longevity. The names—including two former hosts of All Things Considered—and the company's internal memo to employees, below [UPDATED below]:

After making billions of dollars by changing the world, tech moguls start dreaming of ruling it. But the political career of former eBay CEO Meg Whitman seems stillborn. Why? She's just not a household name.

The verdict is in: Illinois Governor ROD BLAGOJEVICH is brazen. here's Blago getting called "brazen" on MSNBC, CNN, regular NBC, and even Fox (where he is guilty of "a brazen, brazen act"). Why can't anyone call him on the audacity of his crimes? Whatever happened to plain old "shameless"? All Obama (via Robert Gibbs) will say on the matter is that "it is difficult for the governor to effectively do his job and serve the people of Illinois." [Video: intern Josh Rachford]

For those of you still kicking yourselves for sitting out last year's Michael Jackson Family Auction and Fedora Liquidation Sale, all hope is not lost:

Corporate "futurist" and salvia-smoking internet surfer Faith Popcorn is back—from the future! And she's brought predictions, for the benefit of the world. Would you like to know what the magical year 2009 will hold, according to a lady who has somehow convinced companies to pay money to her totally made-up "trend consultancy" for an astounding period of time? Behold the "New Rules of Engagement" for 2009, year of wonder:

• Time Out's annual "Top 100" list is now online. [TONY]
• Frank Bruni hands out three stars today to Drew Nieporent's Corton thanks to Paul Liebrandt's ability to find "the sweet spot between disciplined cooking and intricate, imaginative leaps." [NYT]
• The good news/bad news for John Dory. [Eater]
• Alice Waters, Ruth Reichl, and Danny Meyer have volunteered to join Barack Obama's unofficial "kitchen cabinet." [Feedbag]
• La Cave des Fondus (where wine is served in baby bottles) is open. [NYM]
• As predicted, Upstairs is closing at the end of the year. [DBTH]
• One bonus to the recession: lobsters are cheaper than ever. [NYT]

Anna Wintour and Ralph Lauren had lunch together today at Michael's, reports Mediabistro's Diane Clehane. And the two looked, like, totally bummed out: "The pair looked downright anguished. We watching in fascination as the pair leaned over the table with their foreheads practically touching as Ralph propped his head up with his hands and rubbed his eyes. Tough times for the titan? We can't imagine." Foreheads practically touching? That sounds serious! Or seriously romantic! Or something. [Mediabistro]

Forgive us. Forgive us Leia, forgive us Jabba, forgive us The Force—but this was the first thing that occurred to us watching Carrie Fisher on the Today Show this morning.

Five years ago, National Public Radio got a donation of more than $200 million from McDonald's fortune widow Joan Kroc. So you'd think they'd be set for a while, money-wise. But the economy sucks and it's a safe bet that individual donations to public radio are plummeting. We heard rumors of layoffs this morning, and now it appears that they're true [UPDATE: it's official], and at least two shows are dying:

Yahoo has a strict set of rules to follow in layoffs: No small talk. Get to the point. Don't own the employee's feelings. Did Jerry Yang, the stumbling Internet company's cloddish founder-CEO, follow them in his latest all-hands memo?

For the second time in three months, Mayor Bloomberg has ordered city agencies to cut back on spending. Just how is the already-strapped city bureaucracy going to do that? Here's your answer (or one of them, at least): The MTA is planning to test out seat-less subway cars, so more people can crowd into trains after the agency cuts back on service. [NYT, WCBS]

... on her answering machine. As of Monday, the ousted Twilight director's outgoing message was still spoken by a man portending the grim news to come:

So we've gotten an aggravating amount of tips about some kind of hell book called Natural Harvest that is comprised entirely of recipes for meals involving semen. Like, human ejaculate. It's nothing short of horrifying. It's been covered in a bunch of other places already, but still everyone wants us to know about it. Except us! We don't want to know anything! So here, in the hopes of shooing you people away, is a brief acknowledgment:

Shaha Mishaal Adham, the "Saudi princess" who had turned herself in in connection with the shooting of Mark Ruffalo's little brother Scott Ruffalo—who died yesterday—was released last night.