Oh no, sad old man George H. W. Bush called Alaska Governor Sarah Palin twice and she never called him back. He is so sad!

When one thinks of Matthew McConaughey, the name evokes Kate Hudson romcoms, a shirt-repelling pair of pecs, and the ability to make both beef and babies seem extra tasty. But does one think "writer"?

[Actress Ricci outside Saks Fifth Avenue in the dreaded West today; image via Splash]

Cover Awards notices that Angelina Jolie got "duped" by German Cosmopolitan, because she looks weird. Well, she also got duplicated, as a tipster points out to us.

Liberal abuse-target Alan Colmes stopped by the Comic Strip holiday party last night and apparently just stood, grinning, directly below his '80s standup headshot(?!), in the lobby, for hours. Merry Christmas. [The Comic's Comic]

In Twilight Nation, expect Dec. 22 to be the date that will forever live in infamy: Floppy-coiffed vampire hunk Robert Pattinson has cut his hair.

What did Steve Jobs do to his old buddy Bono? The Irish rock star, once the Apple CEO's adoring buddy, is funding the most credible threat to the iPhone yet.

Hollywood drives people to choose alternate religions - Buddhism, Scientology, the Zone diet. For this week's horoscopes, we consulted a friend in the Shamanic community, who suggested some power animals to guide you.

Earlier today we fawned over Barack Obama's newly cut physique. And it got us wondering what other shirtless pics of presidents exist.

In a bold programming gambit that officially solidifies 2009 as the Hollywood Year of the Lycanthrope, Fox is developing Bitches, a "dramedy about a quartet of female friends in New York who are werewolves."

The mayor of Paris actually doesn't care if Caroline Kennedy becomes a Senator, the Times has been forced to reveal. Also if you email them with a famous name they'll just print it.

Once we said 'hi' to Malcolm Gladwell at a party, but then Julia Allison came up and was all "blahblahblahbla." That ruined our chance to ask if Colin Powell was really his cousin.

• In what will probably come as soul-crushing news to Arden Wohl, Mischa Barton is launching a line of headbands with Stacey Lapidus. [WWD]
• How do you rope in shoppers during a recession? Staying open 24 hours a day is one popular approach. [WSJ]
• More bad news for retail: As if the recession wasn't painful enough, snowfall during the final days of the season is expected to make things worse. [WSJ]
• Just in case you missed the news, leggings are back. [LAT]
• Tim Gunn has sent out "videotaped personal pleas" to Giorgio Armani and Donna Karan to urge them to stop using rabbit fur from China. [P6]
• Betsey Johnson is not, in fact, planning a diffusion line. [NYM]
• Sorry, folks: Burger King's meat-scented body spray, is sold out. [Racked]

Unwilling to let Roland Emmerich corner the DGA market on topless pool parties, Criterion-approved auteur Michael Bay is opening his Miami mansion up to guests—and all you need is $250!

Christmas came early! Someone sent us a scandalous, original blind item just now. And, of course, we'd like to share it with you. After the jump read a tale of gossip and infidelity.

Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain didn't collect a bonus—his request for $10 million quickly turned into a PR disaster—but the same can't be said for some of the execs Thain recruited to the firm. Peter Kraus, who joined the bank in September, resigned last week after the sale of Merrill to Bank of America triggered a $25 million bonus payout, which the Journal helpfully points out, comes out to 0.1 percent of the total amount ($25 billion) BofA collected from American taxpayers as part of the bailout. An even more mind-numbing calculation: Kraus collected roughly $277,000 for every day he worked at the firm. [WSJ]

Allies of Hiram Monserrate, who "tripped" while "'bringing' his girlfriend a 'glass' of 'water'", have the worst idea of sympathetic spin ever.

12/20 — Celebrated my birthday with friends on Saturday night in Los Feliz and ended up at the last night of Tangiers. Down the street sitting out front eating at Little Dom's was DREW BARRYMORE! She looks hot blonde! She was having dinner with that guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall and How I Met Your Mother, sorry, too lazy to IMDB him. Are they dating? [Well?Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Why are TV networks laying off staff? Because it's a lot cheaper to hire five-year-olds, that's why. [Buzzfeed]

Maybe it's just her late-night Marley & Me marathon making her punchy, but Jennifer Aniston was at her sauciest (we think) the other night on Conan when her canine castmates' culinary tastes were revealed.