While film critics' Top 10 lists pile up around the Web, our own review of 2008 must start where any true movie interest starts: The posters.

Mickey Rourke can't give himself a break. He finally mounts a comeback with The Wrestler—they're talking Oscar...nomination—but he has to go and ruin it by starting shit with his main competition, Milk's Sean Penn.

Have you ever imagined what it'd be like if a New Yorker staffer tried to talk dirty with you? Their online editors feel your pain.

As this year's Best Actor race begins to winnow down toward a Mickey Rourke/Sean Penn face-off, Rourke has cleverly masked his one misstep—calling a journalist a "faggot"—by casting texted aspersions toward his rival.

Here is a wonderful sentence drunk crank Christopher Hitchens wrote about huckster pop-pastor Rick Warren:

Bad news is still big. It's just the articles that are getting smaller. 2008 was 80 percent less dumb than 2007, according to Fortune! A year ago, Fortune readers were treated to a full 101 moments of dumbness in an end-of-year comic look-back. This year? Only 21 dumb moments to be found.

Noted mustachioed Judith Regan-sexing terror criminal Bernie Kerik pleaded not guilty to new counts of vile criminality that were recently added to all the old counts. [NYP]

The City, a New York-set spin-off of MTV's tremulous reality sensation Nova The Hills, premieres tonight. I know, I know. In case you're not yet convinced, here are three reasons why you should watch:

12/26 — JASON BATEMAN and family at Il Sole on Sunset... he is ridiculously hot... and seemed like a nice guy. COURTNEY COX, DAVID ARQUETTE and family also at Il Sole... she left the table last so everyone would see her, stopped by Bateman's table, and then headed out to the paparazzi... all two of them. Guess no one cares about her anymore. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

The Wall Street Journal published an excellent piece today on the fall of Lehman Brothers, which is worth a read if you're into that sort of thing, you have access to the Journal site, and you have the patience to digest a 4,800-word article. This afternoon WSJ.com followed up with a few casting suggestions for the movie that will inevitably be made about the biggest bankruptcy in history, and while we can't say we're convinced about George Clooney playing John Thain, Ben Kingsley in the role of Dick Fuld strikes us as an unusual and yet oddly compelling choice. It's certainly better than what the Celebrity Match Up game came up with: The site's facial recognition software picked Andy Garcia as Fuld's ideal stand-in. [WSJ/Deal Journal]

Kevin Rose, the boyish founder of Digg, a testosterone-soaked news-discussion site, has resolved to "date someone seriously" in 2009. Specifically, he plans to woo Marley & Me star Jennifer Aniston.

The mainstream media (led by one overzealous blogger in particular) has just now realized that stars smoke cigarettes—witness this NY Daily News trend piece today! So why should we care about this incredibly obvious fact?

Having a hard time coming up with resolutions for 2009? We understand the difficulty in coming up with ways to improve your already perfect life. But the stars know a few things you don't.

Obviously we live in a cruel and absurd universe of well-rewarded idiocy and undeserved second chances, but if we didn't, these are the ten people you'd meet in the nu-depression's breadlines.

Celebrities have fallen on hard times! They can't subsidize their sad lives with appearance fees anymore. We just received a long list of pseudo-celebs looking for work. Let us share the names with you.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Mostly worst. As 2008—the shittiest year on human record—winds down, we've collected for you some of its most shameful moments, caught on video.

A newsflash from the New York Post: Unemployed 26-year-old writer Paige Ferrari, once a featured editor at now-defunct magazine Radar, has found part-time work!

• The City debuts tonight on MTV! New York has details on the goings-on behind the scenes and what Olivia Palermo is hoping to gain from the spotlight: "Like, maybe I'll start a jewelry line,” [NYM]
• Is Christina Aguilera planning to design a collection for Topshop? [Mirror]
• With holiday sales the worst in 40 years, analysts are predicting 73,000 stores may close in the first half of 2009. [Bloomberg]
• Erin Fetherston may have a hotel project in the works. [HC]
• Tom Ford and Judith Leiber have new Rodeo Drive stores planned. [WWD]
• Chanel is cutting 200 jobs. [Guardian]
• The new parent company of Bill Blass says it's planning to revive the brand's high-end collection within "9 to 12 months." [WSJ]
• Dov Charney's American Apparel has another legal mess on its hands. [WWD]

The current issue of The New Yorker has the details on the frightening surge in dognappings on the Upper West Side: "There's a two-man team, with one in a gray hoodie on a bicycle who comes by and slices the leash with a razor, then goes away with the dog. The other guy calls you up later on and says, 'Hey, I found your dog! What's it worth to you?'" Sounds horrifying, yes, but don't get too panicked just yet. Although versions of the story have been circulating for weeks, the 20th Precinct on the UWS has yet to receive a single report from a dognapping victim. Or a dognapping victim's owner, at least. [NYer]

12/24 — An OLSEN at the cafe next to American Rag... and she was eating!! She looked great and was shoveling food in her mouth like the rest of us commoners. ["An Olsen?" Who can be more specific? Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]