Invite Richard Simmons on your morning show, and he will not only bring the flair/"issues," but will also become your devoted manservant.

After hilariously bumping Ann Coulter from Tuesday's show for Perez Hilton, NBC's Today asked the conservative simpleton on the next day, an olive branch she accepted with grace and wit. Hahahahahahaaa.

It turns out Plenty was paying attention to the wrong climate change: A tipster tells us the environmental magazine laid off almost the entire staff today after a funding round fell through.

· It's all fun and games until tomorrow morning, when Matt Lauer interrupts a sober interview with a Palestinian spokesperson by shrieking, "I'm gonna be sick—there's a Richard Simmons-juice stain on this couch!"

After Access Hollywood reported on the breakup between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson (and TMZ independently confirmed it) one might expect Lohan and her rep to put up a high-profile, united front of denial.

Choke on the history, America: After 62 days of counts and recounts, a Saturday Night Live alumnus has officially been elected to represent an actual state in the US Senate.

· Robert Francis at the Echo, Rocco Deluca starts their Spaceland residency, and Gay Beast are at Pehrspace.

First clip: A CNBC reporter dishes outsidery snark about Apple's supposedly botched iPhone launch. Second clip: CNBC's Silicon Valley bureau chief guzzles the Apple Kool-Aid. Is this the same network?

Stronger for having survived a false cancer diagnosis (as represented by the looped cougar-skin ribbon on her lapel), rising Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak has added her voice to the ever-expanding celebrity blogosphere.

Set down your water bottle. Halt your DJ set. Doff your fedora and bow your head. The romance between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson is no more, says Access Hollywood.

Doctors this afternoon completed Jett Travolta's autopsy, the details of which haven't been (and likely never will be) released publicly. But another Bahamian insider passed his death certificate details to the AP anyway.

Sherri Shepherd isn't the only one who's had a memorable run-in at 30,000 feet with Jeremy Piven. Commenter MontagueGoat wrote in with another, presumably pre-mercury-poisoned encounter:

Ann Coulter has a new book out called GLORBAHLF: LIBERAL TERROR DEATH and she was going to go sell this book on Today but then NBC woke up and remembered that its not 2002.

In a disconcerting trend for top-heavy actresses currently starring as fictional psychics in network primetime, Patricia Arquette and Jennifer Love Hewitt have left their significant others.

The famously frumpy former CEO of eBay, Meg Whitman, is veering closer to entering California's governor 2010 race, quitting the boards of Procter & Gamble, eBay, and Dreamworks Animation SKG.

Are you going to the Obamanauguration? I'll be there! But only to get a good deal on "coins, stamps, jewelry and even a small handbag" directly from QVC:

David Fincher may be temperamental about having his films come out just so, but he's got nothing on James Ciallela, who shot a fellow moviegoer for interrupting Fincher's The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Bernie Madoff is still at large. Prosecutors are trying to get the financier, accused of running a $50 billion Ponzi scheme, thrown in jail for mailing valuables to his brother. Including mittens!

Victoria Blake told NPR today that she started her own publishing company when she realized she was just wasting her free time reading Gawker. Have trashy websites like ours killed literature? Au contraire, yall!

Al Franken was just certified the winner of the Minnesota Senate recount! Of course that race will still never ever be decided, Nate Silver be damned.