Aaron Bruns, the Fox News producer arrested on child porn charges earlier this month, had a softcore side gig. He posed naked for The Complete Idiot's Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra Illustrated.

Today in the magical land of Twitteronia: Jimmy Fallon schmoozed the Twitter-loving press, Ana Marie Cox cried because of Jake Tapper, and a tuna-melt experiment went badly awry.

Oh the Brits, with their breezy resolve and false good cheer in the face of obstacles! The FT needs some staff to take a pay cut. I mean, extra summer vacation time!

"The person called 'President Obama'," is destroying our borders and wants to kill all the babies, says heroic multiple election-loser Alan Keyes! Keyes knows Obama well, because he debated the secret Muslim back in 2004, when Keyes was the GOP's hilarious sacrificial lamb candidate running against the Chosen One.

So what if Departures screwed you out of winning the office Oscar pool, there are numerous racetracks and casinos in the Southland to stoke your newfound gambling addiction.

Peter Chernin is stepping down from his perch as Rupert Murdoch's right-hand man at News Corp., according to multiple reports. Everyone now expects Murdoch to install one of his kids in Chernin's place.

The final, farcical moments of the failed Revolutionary NYU Food Court Occupation were caught on film by one of the protesters. And then shown to the world, despite being—by any standard—incredibly embarrassing.

The markets took another tumble today with the Dow dropping 250 points to close at its lowest point since May 7, 1997. You remember May 7, 1997, don't you? No? Rudy Giuliani was trying to push through a round of tax cuts, Garry Kasparov was facing off against Deep Blue, Oklahoma City bomber Tim McVeigh was still in the news, Ellen DeGeneres' coming-out was generating controversy, Hanson was still worthy of 1,200 words in the Times, and architects were dreaming about "a cook's cosmopolis" called the Chelsea Market, which would supply the epicure with "everything from lobsters to dairy-fresh milk in a series of deli-size storefronts." Yea, it was a really long time ago. [CNN]

["Gossip Girl" actress Chace Crawford pretends to play basketball with his friend, a catfish, on the set of their TV show; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Furniture Car [99Sense @ Flickr]

Rahm Emanuel cannot leave his office without generating a colorful anecdote involving profanity. Today's installment: Rahm went to a movie!

Last night's supergay Oscars broadcast was up 6% in the ratings from last year, and was the highest-rated "entertainment telecast" in two years. Was it the gay stuff that drew people in? Sorta.

• David Burke's Fishtail and the Oak Room come up short in this week's New York: Adam Platt calls the former "decent," while the latter goes away with no stars and is described as "overpriced," "outdated" and "oppressive." [NYM]
• There's a new chef at the meatpacking district's 5 Ninth. [TFB]
• Karen and David Waltuck's Chanterelle is offering an à la carte menu. [TONY]
• Balthazar's bathroom attendants are back, thank goodness. [GS]
• A report from Above Allen, the new lounge at the Thompson LES. [DBTH]
• Mark Birnbaum and Eugene Remm have tapped former Sheridan Square chef Franklin Becker to run the kitchen at Abe and Arthur's. [TFB]
• A tour of the White House kitchen, courtesy of Michelle Obama. [NYT]
• Tom Colicchio starred in a Coke commercial during last night's Oscars. [GS]

Professional designer and amateur writer of excruciating ad copy Kenneth Cole knows times are tough as leather. Maybe it's not fashion-able, but he's optimistic America will design a solution to sew up all these problems!

He lost a million-dollar bet, all but liquidated his company and endured a late, vicious backlash against a film that nobody even thought would reach the Oscars. And he won. That's why he's Harvey Weinstein.

Shocked that Departures beat out presumed favorites Waltz With Bashir and The Class for the foreign-film category? It's just the latest example of the bizarre rules that govern that Oscar niche. Can it be fixed?

CBS just hired some guy with the improbable name of Jeff Ballabon to be their Senior Vice President of Communications. Boooring! But wait, outrage: he's a Republican!

Not that charity is ever bad in any form, but Madonna could probably do better than sending old clothes and her own damn children's book to the Malawi orphanage where she found her son, David.

If you have lousy credit and you're in possession of an American Express credit card, the company might just pay you to go away. AmEx is now offering a $300 prepaid gift card to people to cancel their accounts and pay down their debt. Don't be offended if you get the offer in the mail. According to the company, it's just a "promotion" being offered to "select cardmembers," and it's only intended to help people "simplify" their finances. [Bloomberg]

In your chesty Monday media column: the Oxford American lives, the Journal Register goes broke, Geraldo is trespassing, and Madoff pics are hottttt: