Furrier, social fixture, and permanent PETA target Dennis Basso turns 55 today. Téa Leoni is turning 43. Chelsea Handler is 34. Reclusive billionaire hedge fund manager Bruce Kovner is 64. Longtime CBS newsman Bob Schieffer is turning 72. Access Hollywood's Nancy O'Dell is 43. Actress Rashida Jones is turning 33. Actor Sean Astin is 38. Julio Iglesias, Jr., the son of Julio and brother of Enrique, is turning 36. Sally Jesse Raphael is 74. And Carrot Top turns 44 today.

• Citi chief Vikram Pandit is still working out the details of a rescue package that would turn over as much as 40% of the bank to the federal government. He'd really love to hang on to his job as part of the deal, though. [WSJ]
• In a last-ditch effort to raise cash, Citigroup is looking to sell off both its Japanese investment bank and brokerage. [Reuters]
• John Thain "sneaked in a side door" to answer Andrew Cuomo's questions for a second time on Tuesday, and provide more detail on the billions in bonuses Merrill Lynch handed out just before the firm was acquired by BofA. [NYDN]
• AIG is now facing two "distasteful" options: sell "prized assets to competitors or hand over a big part of its business to the federal government." [NYT]
• Connecticut is planning legislation to regulate the hedge fund industry. [DB]
• You can thank Ben Bernacke for the Dow's rally yesterday. [NYT]
• Existing-home sales tumbled to a nearly 12-year low in January, and prices took a double-digit drop. [WSJ]

• Andre Balazs and Sharon Stone were seen cuddling on a couch "all night" at the Oscar party at Guy Oseary's home on Sunday, and looked like they "couldn't have been more into each other." We're beginning to sense a pattern here, how about you? [NYDN]
• Newlyweds Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo are expecting a baby. [P6]
• Jeremy Piven will make his case in front of an Actors' Equity panel tomorrow and offer proof it was mercury poisoning that forced him to drop out of Speed-the-Plow. Good luck with that. [NYP]
• Warren Beatty supposedly wants Lindsay Lohan to star in his new movie, but only if she moves in with him and Annette Bening during filming. [Fox411]
• Chris Brown has started taking anger management classes. He's also had to hire bodyguards because he says he now fears for his safety. [NYDN, InTouch]

"Cozy" is not the same as "together." But we can still wonder why Owen Wilson is sitting next to Kate Hudson, or if Alex Rodriguez is again flirting with Madonna via the idea of being her neighbor.

If you read Gatecrasher today, you can see the seeds of Chris Brown's would-be image rehabilitation. Step 1, make the singer look remorseful for reportedly attacking Rihanna. Step 2, blame the victim.

In the magazine industry, Condé Nast has suffered the most this year. And within Condé Nast, Portfolio is at absolute rock bottom. It's getting damned hard to see how the magazine survives.

Bill Moyers told the Washington Post he couldn't remember whether he launched investigations into White House homosexuals. But when the paper's online cousin picked a fight over the issue, the memories came flooding back.

Sure, we're a little obsessed with Barack Obama's hottie speechwriter Jon Favreau. But we'd never publish his direct phone number. We'll leave that to the New York Times.

Bobby Jindal's rebuttal to the president's Congressional address tonight sounded creepily like a monologue from Kenneth the Page, 30 Rock's bewildered hillbilly. Click for video of the Louisiana governor's most Kenneth-like moments.

Beth Ostrosky—or Beth Ostrosky Stern, as she'd like to be known these days—has sealed a deal to write a book about dogs, according to Publishers Marketplace: "Animal-rights activist (and wife of Howard Stern) Beth Ostrosky Stern's user-friendly guide for anyone who owns a dog, covering everything from tips for doggie dental hygiene, diet, health, and etiquette to planning the perfect party for your pooch, to Jennifer Bergstrom at Simon Spotlight Entertainment, with Emily Westlake editing, for publication in Spring 2010, by Richard Basch at Don Buchwald Agency (world)." Presumably she shared the section on "doggie dental hygiene" with the owner of this particular pooch before going in for the photo op. [Publishers Lunch, sub req]

Sorry, but this "quality of life" policing trend has really gotten out of hand. Talk about an invasion of privacy! [CBS/AP]

Perhaps "artistic depths" is a better term than "heights:" German artist Edgar Müller created this miles-deep, 3D visual crevasse for the "Festival of World Culture" in Ireland last year. Video went online just over a week ago, offering Gotham's public arts administrators an idea for a viable, cheap, recession-era alternative to last year's waterfalls.

In his not-really-but-actually State of the Union address, President Barack Obama did his best to inspire a nation scared out of its wits. After the jump, the speech text, as distributed while he delivered it.

Barack Obama is running 7 minutes late and he's not withdrawing from Iraq. God! Bring back that Bush guy! Hey, let's watch and learn.

Another year, another lackluster awards-season showing for Hollywood studios. And while their art-house affiliates more than picked up the slack, could 2009 be the year the majors finally reclaim the Oscars for themselves?

Hearst Newspapers could shut down San Francisco's dominant daily, the Chronicle, if unions do not agree to major job cuts. The threatened shuttering would leave the city without a real newspaper. Would anyone notice?

• Diane von Furstenberg had a really lovely Oscar weekend, thanks so much for asking. [DVF]
• Rachel Zoe is denying that clients Cameron Diaz and Debra Messing have abandoned her. "Styling is still her number one priority," a "source" says. [SW]
• Layoffs: Neiman Marcus is cutting 450, Valentino is downsizing its NY office, and there are rumors Coach is trimming staff, too. [WWD, WWD, Racked]
• Thakoon reflects on last week. [NYO]
• Chloe Sevigny's second collection for Opening Ceremony hit London on Sunday evening. [WWD]
• Reports from London Fashion Week as it winds down. [Vogue UK, NYT, AFP]
• The gloomy mood in Bryant Park last week appears to have made its way to Milan: Just Cavalli has cancelled its runway show for Thursday. [NYM]

For every questionable Oscars moment requiring the host to poke his head through a gloryhole and belt out a song about pubic hair, there was another demonstrating genuine emotion and class.

Here's a bit of a public service announcement: If someone asks you over IM to "Hey check out this video!" they foolishly fell for the just-breaking ViddyHo virus. Don't follow them.

[Flambeau carriers line the streets of Uptown New Orleans last night, in preparation for the Krewe of Orpheus parade, which is a part of the city's Mardi Gras celebrations; image via AP]