Many TV shows will have deaths at the end of this season. A list. [EW]

50 Cent is locked in a running feud with Miami rapper (and former corrections officer) Rick Ross. It's all anyone in hip hop is talking about! Naturally, 50 has donned a wig, for a sex tape.

Look how adorable the Times' most aggravating columnist was, in her little "Irish stuff" outfit!

In this economy, who wouldn't benefit from a little "crystal energy" while preparing their taxes? [EVGrieve]

It was only a matter of time before attention-hungry restaurateur Nino Selimaj figured a way to cash in on the Bernie Madoff saga. New York's most successful Albanian-born Italian restaurant owner says that he'll be giving away free meals at Nino's 208 on East 58th Street to anyone who was ripped off by Bernie all this week, so long as they mention the schemer when making reservations and bring a monthly statement from Madoff's investment firm to the restaurant. One quick way to make the deal work even if you weren't victimized by Bernie: Buy an authentic Madoff statement on Ebay for $21 and then order the $25 osso buco. [City Room]

Lou Dobbs was once a reasonably well respected financial journalist before he traded in his green visor for a pitchfork and a white sheet. And now he's missing-in-action during the biggest financial story of his lifetime.

New York State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo is giving AIG until four o'clock to name everyone who got a bonus Then the subpoenas drop! This is wonderful and hilarious grandstanding, thank you, Andrew.

NonSociety, the attempt by unduly well-known dating columnist Julia Allison to blog for dollars, will soon be down to just two. Mary Rambin, her vapid handbag-designer gal pal, is quitting the startup.

Is it sexist to think that an ad with a vampire with tampons for teeth is just nasty? I don't think so, but I'm sexist. Click through to absorb this one, soak it in, etc:

David Chase, the creator/writer mastermind behind The Sopranos, is journeying back in time for his next HBO project. He's developing a miniseries about the early days of Hollywood, when the West was still sorta wild.

In your aspirational Monday media column: Jimmy Cayne's a rat bastard, Scottie McClellan spawns, Liz Smith groks the email, and newspapers do various sad things:

We have no idea why the Hooters on 56th and Broadway would be thriving amid the recession. But we're pretty sure it has nothing to do with Hooters being a "family-friendly" restaurant that appeals to "parents with their four and five-year olds," as the restaurant's extraordinarily creepy manager tells a reporter from Fox News. You will, however, be pleased to hear that according to a Hooters waitress, comforting men who have been laid off due to the downturn is "her duty." The video is below!

Andrew Cuomo is demanding answers. President Obama said today that he "choked up with anger" when he heard the news. The news media is up in arms. And now the Treasury Department says it plans to do whatever it can to block as much as $30 billion in government aid if AIG doesn't revert course and cancel the $165 million in bonus payments that it says it is compelled to hand out to company execs. Why in the world is AIG going ahead with the plan when doing so pretty much guarantees its reputation will end up ranking up there with Enron and Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities?

Even though Google killed Dodgeball, Dennis Crowley reassured the socially inept that they'd still be able to find their friends at bars with his newly launched Foursquare. One problem: it may not be his.

["Gossip Girl" actress Blake Lively films a scene with "Kings" gay person Sebastian Stan in New York today; image via Splash]

In a move that surprises no one, Hearst finally announced today that the Seattle P-I will stop printing tomorrow. What took so long?

It looks like being Gwyneth Paltrow's bikini waxer has its benefits. Beautician Janea Padilha, who counts Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker, Uma Thurman and Lindsay Lohan as clients of her J Sisters salon on 57th Street, has signed a five-figure book deal with Perigree, an imprint of Penguin Books. Brazilian Sexy will give readers advice on "love, life, and being sexy," and Padilha says she'll "talk about what happens in the room where I work." Everything you wanted to know about Gwynnie's pubic hair situation: coming to a bookstore near you in 2010! [NYO]

Lanny Davis, the most pathetic of the Clinton primary campaign dead-enders, just reviewed his own son's book, for The Hill's "Pundits Blog." He liked it!

We understand you're super busy and all, but it's March 16th, Mayor Bloomberg. Christmas was nearly three months ago! Would it be too much to ask that you retire the mini-Christmas trees, pine cones, and red branches outside your East 79th Street townhouse and replace them with something more seasonal? Spring will arrive in just 96 hours! Below, a few more photos of the mayor's rather dated display along with further evidence that he really did gobble up four of the six apartments in the townhouse next door: His tired decorations are in front of that building, too.

The advertising rumor mill is reporting they paid $8 million for a homonym. What recession?