West Side Story opened this week, as did Blithe Spirit and a new rock musical. And the theater community lost one of the greats, Natasha Richardson.

Julia Roberts and Clive Owen star as Claire Stenwick and Ray Koval, corporate spies trying to pull off the ultimate con job while getting over their steamy past. Outwit. Outspy. Outsmart. Outplay. Then get out.

The return of China-eyes. Jen Aniston, miserable. What's new? Katy Perry gets peed on, while the Octomom remains bewildered and horrible. Plus, Twilight!!!

Today we have actors who like doing sex with people. One actor doesn't mind if you're married, two others would like you to be porn stars. Also, a House death and something about perfume.

Have some info to share with us? Direct it here. Many thanks!

• Today in silly celebrity brand extensions: Kim Kardashian has a "budget-friendly shoe club," Avril Lavigne's first scent debuts this summer, and Nicole Richie's new jewelry line sold out before it even arrived in stores. [SW, WWD, SW]
• Several racks of clothing have already materialized at Topshop! [Racked]
• Calvin Klein made a cameo on 30 Rock last night. [Fashionologie]
• Michelle Obama is the new Carrie Bradshaw, says Isaac Mizrahi. [MB]
• Have you ever wished that Joe Zee would finally document every food item he consumed over the course of the week? You're in luck. [NYM]
• Don't bother asking Michael Bloomberg about his fave footwear. Ask him about his shoes and he'll tell you they're "probably Paul Stuart," but he's "had them a long time," so he really has "no idea." [FN]

Giving geeks everywhere hope, Jim Clark, cofounder of Silicon Graphics and Netscape, is marrying swimsuit model Kristy Hinze this weekend on Richard Branson's Necker Island — also the site of Google founder Larry Page's nuptials.

This week our president insulted a bunch of retards. (Get over it, America!) And, you know, some other stuff happened.

Twitter CEO Ev Williams is working on a new product release, currently in beta testing inside wife Sara Morishige's womb: The couple's first child.

Dear Gawker's Legal Team— I write with regard to the piece you posted on Sunday by Joshua Stein. To say that the article and headline are gross distortions of my conversation with a reporter for the New York Times – and not with Josh — would be a tremendous understatement. While I fully appreciate that Gawker.com is a gossip site, that does not excuse the fact that it was incredibly irresponsible to pass off as an article Josh’s speculation about what was said by me in a conversation (with The Times) to which he was not a party. He did not interview me for his “piece;” rather all he did was write an article as if he had been a participant in my interview with The Times. While I assume that you will not accede to my request, I will make it any way — please remove the article titled “The Psychotic Coping Inanity of a Laid Off Editorial Assistant” from your website. When I was interviewed by The Times, Merkato 55 was completely packed, wall to wall people, many of whom were ordering bottles of champagne for a Saturday brunch. (I was not one of them.) In light of the packed house and revelry going on, I absolutely did say to the reporter from The New York Times, in a very facetious manner, “What recession?” I said this not because I didn’t know there was a recession, but because the scene spoke for itself – with a packed house for Saturday brunch with people spending lots of money, one would not think that there was economic downturn. Sadly, the contextual reality of my conversation with The Times is not reflected at all in your piece. Instead, the Gawker piece goes out of its way to present a 180 degree different context, making it sound like I am immune from and unaware of the current recession. Nothing could be further from the truth. Because of the recession, I was laid off as part of a reduction in force, and to date, have been unable to secure a new job. This article, which is a gross and unfair distortion of my interview with The Times, will only serve to further impair my ability to secure a job. Please due the right and decent thing and take the article down, or at the very least, correct the article to place in proper context my comment. Thank you for your time and consideration. Regards, Joey Brodish

Jim Behrle's Kreepie Kats are NSFW, today! So NSFW that, uh, Photobucket did not approve, of some of it.

Jake Tapper, the blog-happy ABC newshunk, has been accused of blocking his detractors on Twitter, a service which allows Internet commenters to pester you 140 characters at a time.

The most cathartic part of our week is here. We have to read all the awful unapproved comments all week. You don't. Well, you didn't. Now you have to read five of the worst:

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] March 20 @ 4:30pm Just saw her at the New Museum on the Bowery checking out Jeremy Deller's project, It Is What It Is: Conversations About Iraq!

Web comedian Julian Smith got invited to check out Facebook's new layout at its headquarters in Palo Alto, Calif. He's funny enough, but the video's also worth watching for an inside look at Facebook HQ:

Poster Boy and friends have a gallery show in Brooklyn tomorrow. Don't tell the cops.

Why hit the phones when you can just do your work on Twitter? Jason Pontin, Caroline Waxler, and a Washington Post reporter show us how to tweetsource your way to more free time:

So the fact that nothing is ever "edited" or "fact-checked" anymore because of "the internet" is so great because of citizen journalism and no gatekeepers etc! But the down side is all the bullshit.

• Michelle Obama started digging up part of the South Lawn of the White House today to plant a vegetable garden. In case you ever have to prepare a salad for the president, be advised that Barack is not down beets. [NYT]
• It's official: Per Se is introducing an à la carte menu on Wednesday. [NYT]
• Pichet Ong is closing P'ong and Batch in the West Village. [Eater, GS]
• Trends Frank Bruni has noticed: trotters, little fried birds, cheap wine. [NYT]
• One trend Grub Street has seen all over the place: bone marrow. [GS]
• A few tips on how to handle a really bad waiter. [Bon Appétit]
• The world's oldest bottle of champagne was opened this week. [TimesUK]
• The Journal has a peek inside JGV's weekend home in Westchester. [WSJ]
• Good news: Antonio Banderas is now producing wine. [Decanter]

Barack Obama won the presidency by refusing to play into the tit-for-tat frenzy of the campaign news cycle. Now he should really show he's a grownup and axe the daily White House press briefing.