The fighting following the merger of Forbes and Forbes.com continues. The latest casualty is print veteran Stewart Pinkerton, who's "retiring," but a tipster says he was "pushed out in a coup after knocking heads with Carl Lavin, his power-mad counterpart from Forbes.com."

Whenever real-estate bubbles pop, the words of Percy Bysshe Shelley are trotted out by lit-major columnists. Before it gets too hackneyed, here is the text of "Ozymandias" with images of Dubai and other former boomtowns.

Vince Shlomi, best known as television's ShamWow! guy, was arrested in Miami last month. For beating up a prostitute. Who allegedly tried to bite his tongue out. Did you know that? Now you do.

The Smoking Gun got hold of the police report and Mr. Shlomi's mug shot, and as you can see, he didn't escape unscathed. But neither did she. The facts of the case, briefly, according to the police report:

The AIG failure-bonus recipients are on a campaign to push back against the pitchfork-wielding hordes who want them to give the money back, and they make no sense.

• Daniel Boulud's upcoming venue on the Bowery now has a name (DBGB), theme ("downtown beer hall"), and port-o-potty on the premises. [GS, Eater]
• Wine on grocery store shelves? Not gonna happen, sorry. [Crains]
• It appears Justin Timberlake and his partners have given up on plans to open a club in the former Manor space on Eighth Avenue. [Chelsea Now via Eater]
• Where in the world in Sirio Maccioni? In Abu Dhabi for an Andrea Botticelli concert as a guest of the crown prince. In case you were wondering. [GS]
• The strip club Sapphire now has a steakhouse attached to its bosom. [TFB]
• No need to order wine at dinner; a warm body suffices in a recession. [NYT]

Alan Henney is an assignment desk editor at Gannett-owned WUSA-TV in Washington. He quit this week—mad as hell, the whole bit. In his farewell email, he blamed too much blogging, not enough news-ing:

Robert Gibbs was a couple minutes late to the daily White House press briefing, and the whiny kids who make up the press corps were furious. And they were getting along so well!

If you can't count on Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit to follow simple instructions and put a security pass around his neck, you may not want to count on the least competent CEO on Wall Street to salvage what remains of the zombie bank either. But points for breaking out the shades!

This staff memo went out at the New York Times today—TV beat reporter Jacques Steinberg will join the National Desk and write a blog on college admissions.

Intrepid New York Times Russia correspondent (and former Marine!) CJ Chivers was snatched by the KGB this morning! Or was he? Read on for the details of this most insignificant international incident:

Russia! says that the Russian press reported that Chivers was "detained" by the KGB when he tried to enter into the disputed territory of Ossetia, and subsequently sent packin' back to Moscow. Crushing press freedom! International disputes! Editors called from New York, alarmed! Actually, Chivers told them, he and his fixer were just forced to sit around at the border because the border guards' supervisor was "in the shower":

So how did that little meeting go today in Washington between the president and the CEOs of the nation's largest banks? "It was very encouraging," said Morgan Stanley's John Mack. "We're all in this together," explained Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf. "Our interests are very much aligned," said Robert Kelly, the chief of The Bank of New York Mellon Corp. "The president made it clear that he'd like this country to get back on track," offered JPMorgan's Jamie Dimon. "He wants us all to help." Sounds like it was almost a lovefest! Or, you know, not. The CEOs weren't given anything to eat—just "glasses of water." And according to someone who was in the room—and despite all that encouraging talk from the CEOs themselves—"it wasn't a relaxed meeting, though the group was engaged and attentive." Thank you for doing President Obama the favor of paying attention, gentlemen. Your sacrifice has been noted for the record. [BN, DB]

Lauren, the star of Microsoft's latest ad campaign, wants a laptop with a 17-inch screen for under $1,000. She goes to the Apple Store; no luck. "I'm not cool enough to be a Mac person," she sighs as she drives away. She heads to Best Buy and finds one for $699. (Oh, by the way, though Microsoft is telling people that the people like Lauren featured in its new ads were hired on Craigslist for a "market-research study," Lauren is an actress.)

We heard Hank Paulson will give you $25 billion if you come up with a name for his upcoming book (and you are a former Goldman guy). So let's all pitch in!

Sears' new female-targeted marketing site: BustedMoms.com. What could go wrong?

Candy Spelling has a book to sell. And a $150 million manor to sell. Both are good reasons for the widow of Hollywood megaproducer Aaron Spelling to be talking to 20/20.

You know what's just infuriating? When you spend thousands of dollars on having big plastic domes inserted into your chest, and then men have the gall to notice them! "You can be at a club," marvels enhanced-to-a-C-cup Annabell Newell, "and a guy you've never met before will come up to you, stare at your chest and blatantly ask, 'When did you get them?' No 'Hi, nice to meet you.'" Outrageous! But in our brave new world of preponderant cosmetic enhancement, how does one inquire about the originality of someone's body parts without committing a faux pas?

In your rubble-strewn Friday media column: rumors of carnage at Budget Travel, threats at a medical journal, advertising havoc at ESPN mag, and editors destroy everything:

The worst are the articles about people who do have jobs, but have a lot of anxiety about whether they'll still have them. Like Ryan Moore, the poor woman who won't buy a new car this year, and is making do with her ancient 2004 BMX X3.

Glenn Beck has been milking his faux populism for ratings gold, but he's walled off his $4.2 million estate behind a 6-foot barrier to keep the poors out. And we hear his neighbors aren't happy.

• NBC is chopping 6 shows, including, yes, the Chopping Block. [THR]
• It's rumored Budget Travel has, yes, cut its budget. [Gawker]
• Another stain on Jim Cramer, not that he needs it: In '07, he called Andrew Cuomo a "communist" for proposing mortgage industry regulation. [NYT]
• The Times's Bill Keller sheds some light on yesterday's cuts and layoffs. [E&P]
• Condé Nast's Chuck Townsend sheds light on his staff changes. [AdAge]
• Lionsgate slashed 8 percent of its staff today. [THR]
• Newspaper ad revenue dropped 17.7% in 2008. [E&P]
• Americans spend 8.5 hours a day consuming video content. [NYT]
• Facebook needs a (generous) friend: It's trying to raise $100 million. [PC]
• Cable company Charter Communications is officially bankrupt. [NYT]