The young rich white people of Washington are a sad and attention-starved lot, because they're not famous and attractive and "important," so every year they claim someone will make a television show about them.

["Spider Gal" poses outside the 'raunch' party for "Secret Identity", a book about Superman fetishist art, in New York last night; image via istolethetv's Flickr.]

Roger Friedman, a showbiz columnist for FoxNews.com, failed to persuade Fox News head Roger Ailes that he should keep his job after downloading a pirated copy of Wolverine and angering 20th Century Fox studio executives.

A proud lot, journalists — and yet so often they drown their sorrows in PB&J martinis. Or the sweet liqueur of Twitter. Jason Pontin, Ana Marie Cox, Susan Orlean and others shared their secret shames:

Haha, Nylon magazine has hit upon a "novel" solution to save money, if "novel" means "kind of like a big scam." It's *informing* subscribers that they'll now be getting their issues in digital format. Okay?

Whoa now, magazines are fighting dirty! Advertising is scarce. Magazines have that hungry look. The rules are gone. So one title (Update: or someone pretending to be) is telling advertisers a competitor's folding. HARDCORE!

Bad news: Mumia will never, ever be freed. Sorry, leftists :(

This is Nina Willdorf, currently the editor-in-chief of Budget Travel. Do you know anything about her? We're looking for info from those who've worked with her. We keep hearing stories.

The magazine industry had sincere, desperate hopes that Michelle Obama could be the next Princess Di, moving copies automatically with her smile. Not gonna happen. But following these simple Michelle Magazine Cover Rules can help:

Dean Singleton, the chairman of the Associated Press, has unveiled a new initiative to "protect news content from misappropriation online." Translation: People, please stop Googling the news!

• It's not just high-end restaurants suffering due to the recession. Take a moment to think a good thought for Applebee's in Times Square. [NYT]
• NYMag's Adam Platt visits La Fonda del Sol, giving it one star for Josh DeChellis's "inherent talent" and another for its tapas. [NYM]
• Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar now has a reservations line. [NYT]
• The secret to Marquee's longevity, at least according to a Harvard Business School case study on the subject. [NYP]
• Jimmy Fallon took to Twitter after getting kicked out of Posto. [Slice via GS]
• Good World has closed its doors. [BoweryBoogie]
• A sushi spot in Midtown has a new roll: the Natalie Portman. [ML]
• Kate Moss may have a cookbook in the works. [Mirror]

Oh, good, some jackass in the Maryland State Senate threatening to withhold public funding from a major university for maybe playing a porno flick has become a TEACHABLE MOMENT. Join the Facebook group!

Why has Justine Musk, the estranged wife of the CEO of Tesla Motors, spoken out about their divorce and his new fiancée? It might have something to do with money, and Elon Musk's lack thereof.

[Sarah Jessica Parker walking around New York today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

ABC News caught up with financier Allen Stanford, an interview that will be broadcast on World News with Charlie Gibson this evening. You can see part of the chat online, though: Watch along as Stanford weeps at his current predicament and then threatens to punch interviewer Brian Ross in the mouth for having the nerve to ask Stanford if he was operating a big Ponzi scheme. [ABC News]

The Snuggie-Slanket wars have been joined—by the "Sealpelt." It's only $400. Yep. [via Likecool.com]

Peter Greenaway, director of The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, & Her Lover and Pillow Book is casting for a new film. Yes it sounds like porn. But artful porn! The NSFW deets: [Fleshbot]

The Beatrice Inn has been shut down. Why, exactly? It could be due to overcrowding or because it didn't have an adequate number of exits. Or it could have something to do with the $23,000 that owners Paul Sevigny and Matt Abramcyk owe the city for construction violations. Or maybe it's just because it's a den of sin. In any event, Sevigny reports that he's planning a "Free the Beatrice" party at an undisclosed location on Thursday or Friday night. [NYO, BlackBook]

In your deluged Monday media column: Conde's heartbreaking receptionist layoff, the Miami Herald is JUST FINE, Lee Abrams is a cuddly animal, and Iceland is so touchy:

Well, Barack Obama does. And Tim Geithner. But no one else. Not one other person on god's green earth likes Lawrence H. Summers. Which is why all the Summers income documents were dumped on Friday.