Miami cocaine rapper Rick Ross is most famous, these days, for being repeatedly embarrassed, on the internet, by 50 Cent. But his new album gives us another reason to appreciate him: awesome self-mythologizing crimetalk doublespeak!

CNBC tough-guy Charlie Gasparino was supposed to appear on a panel discussion at the New School last night. But he didn't show, probably because he's scared to talk about Jim Cramer's dust-up with Jon Stewart.

This memo from Michael Golden went out to New York Times Co. employees this morning, telling them the company's foundation is suspending its grant-giving, and its gift-matching program. Unfortunate, but probably necessary.

Is Michael Bloomberg in a bad mood because deep down he doesn't really want to be mayor for another term? If that's the case, he's not letting it show: The mayor plans to spend another $4.5 million flooding the airwaves with ads in the next few days. This brings the total cost of his campaign thus far to $7.5 million, which means he's on track to break his own campaign spending record. [NYT]

Oh American Idol Season Eight. You're showing your age. Two more dreamers were sent packing last night, they were—just by coincidence probably!—the two most conspicuously brown of the bunch. Obama Era nothing, huh?

The Way We Live Now: Very, very still. Americans have stopped moving. Colleges are liquidating everything except their students. Ebay is the new luxury!

Meghan McCain guest-hosted on The View today. It was a veritable salon. It reminded Meghan of Columbia, the "high-brained" school that she desperately wants you to know she attended. It didn't take, Meghan.

• Chris DeWolfe is out as the CEO of News Corp.-owned MySpace. [CNN]
• More on Peter Kaplan's split from Jared Kushner's Observer, and the rumor Kaplan is now heading to Condé Nast Traveler. [NYT, WWD, DHD]
• ABC has renewed 12 series, including Dancing with the Stars, The Bachelor, Grey's Anatomy, and Desperate Housewives. [THR]
• Viacom, the parent company BET, is planning to start up a new cable TV channel for middle-aged African-Americans. [NYT]
• Barry Diller is looking to shed his email newsletter Very Short List. Bob Pittman and Jared Kushner have taken a look; co-founders Kurt Andersen and Michael Jackson are considering a management buyout. [NYP]
• The New York Times Co. foundation is suspending its grants and no longer matching employees' charitable donations. [Gawker]

Oh no! Susan Boyle actually has been kissed. The overnight Britain's Got Talent/YouTube singing sensation lied! Or was joking. Either way, it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that we all stop the madness.

The most amusing thing about fameballs is when they don't realize their balls have stopped rolling. Such is bulldog entrepreneur Jason Calacanis's lot, as he desperately tries to pose as MySpace's next CEO.

"A giant space 'blob' has astronomers puzzled." How much more proof do you need?

The Weinstein Company keeps throwing out signs of having absolutely no money. The latest is a report that the company may have lost the rights to produce a sequel to Sin City.

The torturer in the video is UAE Royal Sheikh Issa bin Zayed al Nahyan. His brother is the Interior Minister, and his other brother is the head of the country, Sheikh Mohammed. He's the man whose name is plastered on NYU's Abu Dhabi campus, because he paid for it.

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] April 23 @ 6:30am I could've sworn I saw Angelina Jolie. Isn't she filming that upcoming movie Salt? Cemetery scene perhaps?

Roger Friedman got laid off by FoxNews.com this month for watching a pirated movie. He's already back in the game. You can't keep him down, in any sense of the word! Let's check in:

Billionaire Nelson Peltz remains one of the most famous takeover artists in America: In recent years, the corporate raider (or "activist investor," as he prefers to be known) has battled for control of Wendy's, Heinz, and the candymaker Cadbury Schweppes. His hard-charging approach and tendency to ruffle feathers isn't just restricted to his professional life. Life inside Peltz's vast estate in Bedford is just as vicious, we hear, and the staff at the estate is subjected to such a dizzying amount of abuse, the Peltzes may be the worst family in America to work for.

According to a new report, the median price of a home in the Hamptons dropped 23.5% during the first quarter of 2009 compared to a year ago. The number of sales during the first three months of this year plummeted 53.5% from the first quarter of 2008. [Crain's]

Today Cannes gets a bit clearer, a comedy haus has opened, Cameron Diaz continues to invade your multiplex, another Twilight movie staggers along, and Straw Dogs gets remade.

Men who were problem-solving machines in finance have been laid off, and are now forced to do "family" activities. Silver lining: finally some dudes with real smarts to clean up these "PTA meetings" and shit!