The World Health Organization just raised the pandemic alert to Level 5! That is is the second-highest level! We will literally all be dead by the end of the year, it is now 100% certain.

Complex.com named Kanye West the Best-Dressed Rapper ever. And, I mean...he just, it's like..WOW, what can you say? Let him catch his breath...okay he's ready to thank you, all of you!

• A bunch of expensive restaurants are slated to open over the next few months. That kind of sucks for them, yes, although construction costs are down and rents are now negotiable, so it's not all bad news. Sort of. [NYT]
• Frank Bruni offers up his take on a bunch of "recession beaters" in today's Times, including Anthos Upstairs, Craft's DFF, and the lounge at Per Se. [NYT]
• Will swine flu finally kill the pork-belly trend? [GS]
• Despite the recession, steakhouses still seem full, says the Post's Steve Cuozzo, and Wagyu beef is still selling, "strangely." Strange, indeed. [NYP]
• Snapple is giving away free pizza from May 4 to May 7. [Slice]
• More immediately: 31-cent scoops at Baskin-Robbins tonight. [TFB]

Chris Kelly, Facebook's chief privacy officer, has made official long-rumored plans to run for California's attorney general. He's just the latest Silicon Valley figure to enter politics.

Bernie Madoff celebrated his 71st birthday today, not that he had much of a chance to really celebrate per se. Ruth didn't stop by for a visit—she did pay a visit on Monday—and no cake with candles was provided at the Metropolitan Correctional Center. "We do not celebrate inmates' birthdays in any way," said an official when asked what was in store for Bernie on his special day. Of course, you're welcome to send him a belated birthday card if you feel like it. You'll find a card—which you can customize for the occasion—right here. [ABC News]

[Sad old Jennifer Aniston leaving her New York hotel to go film "The Baster"; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Remember Mikey Weinstein, the guy fighting radical evangelical Christians in the military? Here is a trenchant political cartoon his organization received on Monday.

Unlike the complex game of chess, mastering Jeopardy with a computer would seem to be a simple matter of automating Wikipedia searches. But there's more to it than that:

It's time to check in on the New York Times' 28 year-old reporter equal to any other, the heir to NYT throne, A.G. Sulzberger! He's writing about light bulbs:

Former New York Observer editor Peter Kaplan has landed at Condé Nast Traveler as the magazine's new creative director. [WWD]

Embattled Bank of America chief Ken Lewis is going to keep his job as president and chief executive officer. But he won't get to hold on to his title as chairman. After a bitter annual meeting today—and contentious vote by shareholders —Walter E. Massey was elected the bank's chairman. [WSJ]

After we ran a new sighting of (we thought) dormant con man/ party crasher Priyantha Silva, the tips poured in! He's still out and impersonating Hollywood people and creeping out women, as usual:

Oh, good, Sarah Palin is going to be on the show about people who make motorcycles. Here is angry motorcycle builder Paul Teutul Sr. with the Governor of Alaska, on her famous "giant bearskin couch."

The Top 5! Rat Pack croony swoony songs! What a magical combination. Oddly, I don't mean that entirely sarcastically. There was some good sing-sangin' on Idol last night, mostly from my long-term two favorites.

The Mexican Swine Flu outbreak and it subsequent media coverage: what does renowned Life Stylist Blair French have to say about it? Enough to issue an ill-advised press release, astoundingly!

Our devoted team of Tribeca Film Festival Twitterers continue their 140 character reports from the front. Today it's all about The Girlfriend Experience, that Soderbergh movie about high-class callgirling.

FriendFinder Networks, the publisher of Penthouse and operator of adult-classifieds websites, is facing a sexy legal scandal. A former top executive who went public with her grievances has now filed a lawsuit.

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] April 29 @ 12:51pm On my way to a screening at TFF saw low-key Bill Murray walking to lunch.

At least Mexicana is being honest! Expedia's Mexican travel section, however, could probably use an update given what's going on the world: "Nature has a way of re-energizing itself. And now, so do you. Book your escape and lift your spirits in Cancun." Of course, if by "re-energizing itself," Expedia is referring to a Malthusian crisis, then the ad copy is probably just fine the way it is:

In your confuseday Tuesday Wednesday media column: Newspapers crumble, Clear Channel layoffs, total confusion in Wisconsin, and the NY Sun is just messing around: