The Way We Live Now: Bobbing helplessly in the Dow Jones waves. The bottom has not yet arrived, friends. Optimism kills. You'll be running to George Soros for Botox money like the other old poors!

We took that turn! Whistling through tunnels, sailing o'er the bridge. We blinked our eyes, suddenly out of the city, in a new, strange place that the Indians named New Jersey, a thousand years ago.

Photographer Stephen Mallon had exclusive access to the salvage operation that pulled Sully-piloted US Airways Flight 1549 out of the Hudson River. Now that he's erased all "US Airways" logos, he can show his pictures!

• Veteran theater producer Rocco Landesman has been nominated to be the next chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts. [NYT]
• Why did David Geffen try to buy a stake in the New York Times? It wasn't because he thought he'd make money, that's for certain. [Newsweek]
• After taking some heat over a $75,000 speaking fee he received last week, the Times's Tom Friedman says he now plans to return the money. [LAT]
• Sarah Palin's book deal with HarperCollins is a go. How much money was involved isn't clear but the memoir will be out in 2010, which just so happens when she'll be running for reelection in Alaska. [LAT, AP]
• Bad news, hooker fans: Craigslist is dropping its erotic services section. [WP]

Here is a breaking survey that you will probably hear about: people who read blogs find them to be informational! Oh, wait, here's the controversial bit: journalists only read liberal blogs.

Not in so many words, but:

Under pressure from state officials after a Boston medical student reportedly killed a masseuse he met on Craigslist, the classifieds site is cancelling its racy "Erotic Services" section with a new one reviewed by employees.

Real Estalker has done some heroic work and assembled an extremely comprehensive (and very amusing) guide to 820 Fifth Avenue. It features lots of real estate dish, including sale prices, apartment numbers, and a couple of floorplans. If you're into who lives where (and feeling stalkerish this afternoon), you'd be well advised to take a little look-see. [Real Estalker]

Maybe some NYT editors are not aware that one A.G. Sulzberger is only um their future boss, okay??????? Because they have him writing the most inane stories in the entire paper. Today: Bus cords.

Least surprising news ever: When pollsters from the Associated Press and iVillage asked 1,000 women about their weight, 26 percent of the women who were not technically overweight—by body mass index standards—still said they think thought they were too fat. The rest, apparently, have yet to be told that you can never be too skinny. Kidding! [AP, NYDN]

Is mustachioed hybrid-hawker Thomas Friedman licking dog food remnants from discarded cans yet? Sadly no, but he must be getting close! First his rich wife's family business went bankrupt. Now he's lost $75K. Just yesterday!

[Sean Puffy Piddy Combs films the movie "Take Him to the Greek" in LA; image via INF]

Here is a lady following our worst Defense Secretary ever right into the White House Correspondents' Dinner reception, at the Hinkley Hilton. She calls him a war criminal, and shouts at him, and so on. As a blogger who happens to agree that Don Rumsfeld is a war criminal, we are all, "oh, lady, stop it, we are so embarrassed."

The Robin Hood Foundation's spring fundraiser took place last night at the Jacob Javitz Convention Center and some 3,200 people turned up to munch on grilled shrimp and chicken Milanese, mingle with the likes of Oprah and Anne Hathaway, and open their wallets and give to the non-profit that funnels millions of dollars a year to worthy causes across the city. The mood was a bit subdued this year, which isn't surprising considering Robin Hood remains the charity of choice for a big bunch of Wall Street chiefs and hedge fund titans like Dan Och, Steve Cohen, and Paul Tudor Jones. To reflect the mood, the lavish auction items that were a staple in previous years weren't part of the program this time around. But emcee Jon Stewart managed to keep the crowd laughing with Bernie Madoff jokes, and George Soros gave the evening a big boost by making a $50 million pledge. (The organization collected a total of $72 million last night, up from $56 million last spring.) Coverage of the event can be found here, here, and here. For a slightly more informal take on the evening, a brief dispatch from the wife of a hedge fund manager is below.

Madeline Stowe is back on the map, folks! So are Guy Pearce and Miranda Otto, noted comedians. Nicole Kidman is retreating into the shadows, and iCarly fans have emerged from them.

The Joe Biden relative who isn't named after Obama's dog? He is a rock star! He hangs out in the LES and plays in a band and has at least one tattoo!

Who shall stand up in defense of no-offense-but-no-gaymars-please Miss California, Carrie Prejean? Besides certain parts of the straight male anatomy, HAHA? Tabloidian sex fiend Andrea Peyser shall! Hark:

Marc Jacobs having lunch with a friend at Da Silvano ... Helena Christensen walking with son Mingus in the West Village ... Hugh Jackman hailing a cab for his wife in Soho ... Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany picking up their kids from school ... Robin Williams arriving at his hotel ... Jennifer Aniston going for a walk ... Sarah Michelle Gellar holding a script on the set of her new cable series, The Wonderful Maladys, on the UWS ... Kelly Ripa leaving ABC's studios ... Jessica Biel walking alone in Soho ... Veronica Webb leaving a party at the Waverly Inn ... and Claire Danes stopping at Dean & Deluca en route to the gym.

Today we have a Correspondents Dinner hook up, an actor who's embarrassed about being short, and a big couple that's breaking up their business arrangement.

Bernie Madoff's pitch to his investors, for decades: He offered high and consistent returns. The reason those investors are now getting sued: He offered high and consistent returns. Believing his sales pitch was criminally idiotic!