• Cynthia Nixon and longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni have gotten engaged. The couple announced the news at the Love, Peace and Marriage Equality rally over the weekend. [OK!, ET]
• Mariah Carey reportedly threw a fit in Cannes on Friday evening when the director of her new movie had the audacity to show up late to the premiere, thus denying her precious time on the red carpet. [NYDN]
• Also in Cannes: Giuseppe Cipriani was seen making out with Tara Reid; and Kirsten Dunst missed the party she was supposed to be hosting because she missed her flight. [NYDN, Mirror]
• Kelly Bensimon is telling friends she regrets joining the Real Housewives cast since appearing on the show has "ruined her socially." [P6]
• Brooke Shields says her mother was checked out of her nursing home last week by a National Enquirer reporter looking for a scoop. [People]

• The market is kicking off the week on a positive note. [CNN, WSJ]
• The investigation into Bernie Madoff's scheme is now focused on some of his biggest investors: Jeffry Picower, Stanley Chais, and Carl Shapiro. [WSJ]
• Bradley Ruderman, the founder of LA-based Ruderman Capital Partners, has been arrested and is charged with bilking investors out of $44 million. [DB]
• Steve Rattner is making waves again, although it has nothing to do with the unfolding pension fund scandal. It's his construction of a $15 million summer home on Martha's Vineyard that is now angering neighbors. [P6]

Yesterday we learned that an entry in Maureen Dowd's Sunday Times column appeared to be lifted straight from a blog post by TPM's Josh Marshall on Thursday. Last night, Dowd admitted to plagiarizing Marshall.

Today, after much protest, controversy and hysterical outrage, Barack Obama delivered the commencement address at Notre Dame. In his speech to the Catholic school's graduates, Obama addressed growing concerns about his "respect for life" head-on.

Models perform in Vienna, Austria at the opening ceremony of the Life Ball, an annual charity event that has raised millions of dollars to provide financial assistance to people living with HIV and AIDS.

For the love of God can the Obama White House please assign someone to keep a 24-hour watch on vice-president Joe Biden to insure that he doesn't get out without his muzzle on ever again?!

Vogue's Anna Wintour was profiled on 60 Minutes tonight, a piece in which she expressed reluctance to glam down during tough times, defended her bitchiness, and basically said she's in it for the free clothes.

Mitchell Wiener, the assistant principal at IS 238 in Jamaica Estates, Queens, has died of complications from the H1N1 virus, popularly known as the dreaded swine flu.

In January of 2008 a disgruntled Merrill Lynch employee, outraged over his bonus, took a crap on the floor, stomped in it, and proceeded to track it around the office. Now it's apparently happened again.

Times TV reporter Bill Carter's profile on NBC co-chairman and Executive Bong Smoker Ben Silverman ran today. To put it lightly: Carter takes Silverman by the collar, beats him, and stuffs him in a locker.

This isn't crazy, or terrifying: alongside Robert Draper's GQ piece on Donald Rumsfeld being called out by former colleagues, they're running covers of his White House morning defense briefings. You have to see these.

Whoops! It appears Talking Points Memo's Josh Marshall a Talking Points Memo follower might've busted Maureen Dowd doing a little bit of plagiarism. At the very least, she's definitely being accused of it. Ruh roh.

The oldest newspaper in Arizona, the Tuscon Citizen, published their last issue yesterday, are going online, op-ed only. The Ann Arbor News publishes their last issue in July, going online, twice weekly.

Herman Rosenblat's touching story about reuniting with a holocaust survivor years after the war ended was a sham. Among the conned: the NY Post, Oprah, publishers. Now alchemized into fiction, the tale's finally going public.

Pinko Culture Overload: rocker Andrew Bird, This American Life, comic book artist Chris Ware. Apart, there's at least one you hate. Smashed together? A wonderful, 3.5 minute video concerning a mouse and a mousehead.

Village Voice EIC Tony Ortega has nothing to do during the weekend but read us. Yay, readers! :) ANYWAY. Ortega made an item out of Ian Speigelman's anti-Nick Denton screed in yesterday's comments. But: irony.

Shia LaBeouf codifies a Jewish stereotype, Broadway still hates Jeremy Piven, Larry King lives on despite being 132 and not having Carrie Prejean on his show, and Alicia Keys is dating some rapper guy.

Las Vegas is taking their federal stimulus money and using it to deceive tourists into thinking things are okay. By putting homeless people in concrete boxes until they're homeless again. Nice. [Las Vegas Sun]

Last night's Will Ferrell-hosted SNL season closer was a perfect freak-storm of cameos (Tom Hanks, Anne Hathaway, Norm McDonald, Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler) and nostalgia. The play-by-play, post-jump.

President Obama has an awesome new strategy for dealing with Republican leadership: send 'em to China. Meet Republican former Utah Governor, and now, Obama appointee Jon Huntsman Jr.