A gruesome string of violence in Chicago in being investigated right now to see if any of it is connected in any way whatsoever. It'd almost be more comforting if it were. Otherwise, these numbers are incredibly frightening - not just for Chicago, but for any city.

You ever have those ridiculous daydreams about winning the lottery, and what you would do with the money the moment you got it? A lot of people I've talked to do. Which is why they'll enjoy this, possibly the funniest thing I've seen all week.

Each week, the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Sunday 'New York Times' features twos becoming ones and halves becoming wholes and reminds you how poor/lonely/lost you are; to help, we score them! Your host is chronic bouquet-catcher and numerologist Phyllis Nefler.

Are you sick of Jon and Kate Gosselin? Probably. But that's not going to stop the media from writing about them. They apparently just discovered the story, and in a room in Minnesota, news types are wringing their hands over missing it for so long.

More accounts from Obama's dinner at Blue Hill in the Village via the Daily News. Choice quote, from one of their co-diners: when they got up to leave, "this blasé New York crowd stood up and exploded in spontaneous applause." [NYDN]

Kelly Bensimon's a glutton for punishment, thespian Whitney Port's nuanced acting critiques, two babies, two 90s stars, a Clinton house (hunting) party, and some Communist dick is always just some Communist dick: presenting your Sunday morning gossip roundup.

Longtime New York Observer editor-in-chief Peter Kaplan's 15-year tenure ended yesterday; last night, Jesse Oxfeld compiled a great, 2,000 word piece of quotes and anecdotes on Kaplan, which Daily Intel ran. It is, as one commenter noted, perfect. My three favorite quotes, after the jump:

Barack Obama and Michelle visited James Beard award-winning restaurant Blue Hill on tonight's NYC date.

Whoops! An eagle-eyed tipster spotted this today on the front door of Pete Wentz's East Village bar, Angels and Kings, which got smacked down with an NYPD closure. Looks like they were serving to minors.

What a mess. The Daily Telegraph reported on Thursday that Major General Antonio Taguba had seen the Abu Ghraib photos Barack Obama's trying to suppress, and that they were really, really bad. Now Salon's reporting that Taguba hadn't actually seen them. This is ugly.

The final episode of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno aired last night on NBC. Leno's returning to NBC, so it wasn't so emotional, but not on this stage, which is why to some people - maybe - this might've been important.

It's about that time. Time for me to get the f out of here! Where da recession party at? Where da political empathy poppin'? But for real, heading to LIC Beer Garden, you coming?

How to determine your Political-Empathy quotient: On one axis find your political ideology somewhere between the two poles of Conservative and Liberal. On the other axis we have "Us"(inclusive) vs. "Them"(exclusive). Yes.

Susan Boyle lost Britain's Got Talent! To a dance troupe called "Diversity." Wow. [Via]

There's been a lot of hootin'-and-hollerin' about Sonia Sotomayor and her rags-to-riches life story. But who's going to the Bronx to find out what her peeps think? I can do that. South Bronx, stand up!

For who knows how long anymore "The Recession" has been our warm ratty security blanket. But "experts" are saying the joyride of sadness is over. Now what? Jozen (Vibe), Melissa (Opinionistas), and Abiola (BET) advise.

This weekend: We venture north, to the Boogie Down Bronx, and talk Sonia Sotomayor with the natives. Also, the recession is over! Reps from Vibe, Discover and VH1's "True Love"(!) are here to discuss.

Bernie Madoff: hired Martha Stewart-endorsed "mitigation specialist" to help him reduce his prison sentence. Luxuries!

Giant giraffes and African themed food and drink were a plenty on Tuesday night for the History Channel's viewing of Expedition Africa.

A participant at the Wave Gothic Festival today in Leipzig, Germany. The music festival...spans four days and dozens of musical acts playing inside and outside venues across Leipzig. [Photo by Katja Buchholz, via Getty] Related.