The Way We Live Now: Differently. Everything is all ass-up. Teachers are getting wealthy. North Dakota is richer than California. And Frenk Gehry can't keep a fucking job.

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] June 5 @ 9am Kelly Kapowski spotted at the Today show this morning. She was watching the Dave Matthews Band concert with some guy. (Not Zach Morris, sadly.)

We know you all love Richard's daily blind items, but do they leave you wondering what exactly is fact or fiction? Actual scandals or publicist planted nonsense? Well now you can weigh in...

Newsday has supplied a crucial piece of information in the emerging "Viking Funeral" theory of the Montauk Monster's origin, and we've spent all day going over historical weather records to better assess its credibility. Answer: Maybe! But we're dubious.

Here is a notice for a charity booze cruise organized to raise funds for children. Or was it organized to prowl the bounding main in search of hot underage action? You be the judge.

Man, Europe. We elected this classy guy after you made fun of us for years about that "cowboy" (btw: here in America, only morons thought he was a "cowboy"), and now your leaders are all running around with naked ladies.

The New York Observer said goodbye to Peter Kaplan for good this week. Today, they've laid off a huge portion of their writing staff—including some of their very best [Updated below]:

Designer Diane von Furstenberg, who lives high above her store in a glassy rooftop aerie, is very mad at the new-ish Standard Hotel. See, the Meatpacking District trend-haus has windows that look directly into Furstenberg's crag-like lair.

Poor Herb Allen. You spend your entire career serving as trusted advisor and investment banker to old media titans like Rupert Murdoch, Barry Diller, Dick Parsons, Bob Iger, Jeff Zucker, Gerry Laybourne, Paul Allen, and Oprah, and then a party-promoting new media group mixes you up with the guy who founded CourtTV? Oh, kids! [Gawker, NYO, The Deal, Flickr]

Hey, here is the new cover of The National Review, depicting "Wise Latina" Sonia Sotomayor as... Asian, for some reason.

Another rogue Wall Streeter is on the lam: "Ex-Credit Suisse trader and Bulgarian national Julian Tzolov was declared a fugitive by the U.S. government on Friday, three weeks before his trial for fraud related to subprime mortgages and auction rate securities. A document filed in U.S. District Court in Brooklyn said Tzolov, who was under house arrest and electronic monitoring, left his home on May 9 without permission of authorities."

A date has been set for the debut of the High Line. The first section of the renovated rail line will open to the public on Tuesday. [NYT, previously]

Last night, James Frey met Philly fameball Arthur Kade, a character so committed to perfectly attaining the state of "douchebag" (as originally defined) that some suspect he's a performance-art hoax. Frey investigated — and earned his Gawker special correspondent wings.

Oh look, a beer company has employed the advertising tactic of "Blonde girl showing her breasts," in order to make you, the consumer, amenable to purchasing beer. The breast-revealing ad is on YouTube! But for how long? NSFW thing below:

• Heidi Klum can now add "magazine editor" to her resume. She assembled a 140-page spread for German Vogue called "Heidi by Vogue." [NYDN]
• Stephen Colbert will be broadcasting from Baghdad next week. [AP]
• Silvio Berlusconi is vowing to sue the Spanish newspaper El Pais for publishing pics of topless women and a naked man at his vacation home. [AFP]
• Were you aware Conan O'Brien debuted this week? Hard to miss, huh? [NYT]
• Bonnier Corp. paid $3-5 million to purchase five magazines from Hachette, including Popular Photography, Flying, and American Photo. [NYP]

Pulitzer-winning critic Robin Givhan is the Fashion Editor of the Washington Post, but today she totally broke some news. There has been a shake-up at the White House! The East Wing of the White House. (That is the lady wing.)

In your all wet Friday media column: Hachette figures out how to get money, ABC figures out how to save money, the NYT Co. vows not to lose money, and a website that will not make money:

The Oklahoman, a newspaper in, we think, Wyoming, published this bizarre racist cartoon about Sonia Sotomayor. We can't believe they beat Sean Delonas!

Wikipedia recently banned the Church of Scientology and its associates from contributing to the collaborative reference site. But maybe this is what the Scientologists wanted Wikipedia to do.

[Chris Weitz directs extras, and Kristen Stewart, on the Italian set of "Twilight 2: Cruise Control"; image via Bauer-Griffin]