Fairfield Greenwich, the hedge fund that directed billions to Bernie Madoff, was handed over to another fund last month called Sciens Capital. Sciens didn't pay anything for it (not that anyone would pay anything for Walter Noel's heaping pile of crap). And now it seems the change in ownership is ensuring that some of Noel's cronies continue to receive paychecks. A tipster with a copy of a Sciens Powerpoint presentation tells Dealbreaker that the fund "seems to be basically a bunch of FGG guys," the transfer was a "smoke and mirrors show for the investors, and "nothing has changed." In that case, champagne by the pool in Mustique in 15 minutes! Be there! [Dealbreaker]

Gov. Mark Sanford, whose surreptitious international wanderings—and possible affair!— have captured the nation's attention, is a deeply strange man. He's so cheap he built his dad's coffin, and digs holes to relax. Here's a rundown.

• New York Times Co. CEO Janet Robinson "isn't happy with the media." She'd also like to make it clear that the company is not currently up for sale, so please put your dollar bills back in your wallet, thank you very much. [MW]
• Ten movies will compete for Best Picture at the Oscars now, not 5. [THR]
• Sad: Dick Cheney landed a $2 million deal to publish his memoir. [NYT]
• Also sad: MSNBC, the illustrious home of blowhard Keith Olbermann, seems to think its tired prison docs are more important than covering Iran. [LAT]
• Director David Fincher is in talks to make a movie about Facebook. [Reuters]
• The always classy In Touch spent $75,000 to purchase photos of Kate Gosselin spanking her kids in public for its cover last week. [WWD, NYP]

In 2006, Isobella Jade was just another homeless 5'2 model writing her memoirs at the Apple Store, all day. And now, three years later, that book is actually being released. Crazy dreams of models come true. [Her site, Previously]

Not-missing-anymore Gov. Mark Sanford said he was driving along the Buenos Aires coastline. The beautiful brown water, the urban sprawl and industrial decay... who wouldn't want to spend a week here? He's scheduled to deliver an ode at 2pm.

It's no secret that the situation at the Plaza has been pretty grim what with all the apartments for sale that haven't been selling, retail space that hasn't been renting, bitter lawsuits, and reports of shoddy construction work. And it definitely wasn't a great sign when the condo/hotel started offering free architecture tours to lure people into the building a couple of months ago. We're going to guess, though, that the Plaza's new marketing approach—offering Eloise-themed party packages—won't do much to improve matters: "The Live Like Eloise Slumber Party Package accommodates six guests and includes a suite, a copy of The Eloise Guide to Life, Eloise DVDs, Eloise postcards, Eloise snacks, rollaway beds, and a trophy party for elementary schoolers, or, the hotel hopes, a 'girls night' for adult women. It starts at $3,595." It's really too bad those Russian billionaires who bought condos in the building are moving out. They would have totally loved this. [NYO]

The Way We Live Now: "It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money."

Well, great TV spirits be thanked/damned, it finally arrived. NYC Prep! The show about Real Life rich kids who are real life Girls who sometimes Gossip. Even the two boys, Sebastian and PC, are Girls. Who Gossip. Let's talk.

A hospital officially confirmed Steve Jobs received a liver transplant there, and did so with Jobs' permission. Meaning everyone is talking about the Apple CEO's sickness, except Apple. The pressure on the company's paralyzed directors is, justifiably, mounting.

Well this settles it: Italian PM and noted insane corrupt horndog Silvio Berlusconi says "I've never paid a woman." So the whole "fucked an escort" thing can't possibly be true, right? Or, uh...

Don't be fooled by the headline that reads "Job hunting? Send your resume to Crain's." Because they're not actually hiring anyone. (They've been laying off staff, actually.) But they would love a copy of your resume to publish in the weekly newspaper. Free user-generated content for a struggling paper, some exposure for a desperate job-seeker: It's a match made in heaven! [Crain's]

The MTA approved the deal that will allow Atlantic Yards developer Bruce Ratner to defer $100 million in payments to the state over more than two decades, instead of paying it all upfront. Critics took to the podium before today's vote to deride the deal as a "massive bailout." And, shockingly, the MTA didn't pay any attention to the last-minute counterbid that landed in its lap when the main Atlantic Yards opposition group, Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn, "tried to upstage the meeting by offering $120 million for the development rights over the Vanderbilt Yard." [Brooklyn Paper]

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford took a little secret solo jaunt down to Buenos Aires, just because. What could he do down there, hypothetically? We've put together a guide of popular activities for the single traveler!

A bunch of celebrities are now offering guided cell phone tours to Central Park. Anne Hathaway will introduce you to the Delacorte Theater, Matthew Broderick will show you around Sheep Meadow, Isabella Rossellini will escort you through the gay hookup zone of the Ramble, and Jerry Seinfeld will describe the stunning view of Central Park he has from his apartment at the Beresford. (Okay, fine, we made the last one up.) It's a free service. You call 646-862-0997 and then punch in a code that corresponds to each celebrity tour. We haven't tried it, so we can't weigh in on what it's like to hear John Stossel share his thoughts on the Balto statue, but if you feel like calling and letting us know what it's like, you're more than welcome to. [Central Park Audio Guide]

The Baffler, the late-'90s journal of stuffy-and-crotchety-yet-youthful dissent, which always read like it was edited by precocious 13-year-olds who wore bow-ties and read Das Kapital and listened to the Misfits semi-ironically and hated their parents, is returning.

In the cave man days, everyone wanted to be fat, because fat represented valuable stored calories. Now nobody wants to be fat, because it makes you die faster, and you'll never be a sexxx icon. What changed? Science knows!

Joe Scarborough's genial sausage-and-Starbucks-fest Morning Joe took on even more of a frat-dude vibe this morning as all the guys snickered about a "pearl necklace" while the lone lady, Mika Brzezinski was left wondering what was so funny. Poor, Mika.

In the wake of Billy Joel and Katie Lee Joel's big breakup last week, Jo Piazza takes a look at the trophy wife phenomenon for The Daily Beast today. And you know what? It turns out it's a pretty good gig. A "transitory stepping stone into a better life," the job doesn't necessarily have to last all that long; a trophy wife may only be forced to sleep with the creepy old man she's vowed to remain with for the rest of her life for a matter of months, in fact. "The shelf life for the typical trophy wife—the time it takes her to increase her monetary and social standing for the rest of her days—is typically two or three years," which, as Piazza points out, is less time than the time it takes to attend medical school. (And Lord knows training to become a doctor doesn't come with boozy afternoons at charity golf tournaments or trips to the Côte d'Azur.)

Albany is such a joke, the Post photoshopped everyone as scary clowns and the Times handed over its op-ed page to the funniest/scariest clown of all, Rudy Giuliani.

The Oscar-winning composer of the sickly sweet "You Light Up My Life" is actually, prosecutors say, a dirty old serial rapist monster. We should have known.