Lisa Falcone is the bubbly, money-flinging wife of billionaire hedge funder Philip Falcone—who owns 20% of the New York Times. Lisa enjoys the simple things, like her $50 million mansion's basement apartment. She's a role model for young billionheiresses!

[Sarah Jessica Parker, James Wilke, and Matthew Broderick welcome their two new kids, born from surrogacy, into the world. They sent this photo around to mitigate the crazed paparazzi bullshit that could have ensued. Image via... the world!]

Everyone's coverage of the uprising in Iran has been Twitter-centric, for obvious reasons. But CNN, in an apparent attempt to look like they have real, non-Twitter newsgathering capabilities, has been regurgitating Twitter posts and attributing them to unnamed "sources."

It hasn't been a fun ride for hedge fund manager Phil Falcone since he picked up 20 percent of the New York Times Co. a couple of years ago. He had to face off against the ruling Sulzberger clan for representation on the board of directors and the company's plunging stock price means his investment in the paper is now worth a few hundred million less than it once was. Today, however, he gets his money worth with a Times profile of his beloved bride, Lisa Maria Falcone, who, as the title of the piece informs us, is a "philanthropist with a sense of timing." Indeed!

Today we have a cocaine-addled former crotch juggler (boy band singer), a foreign actor who likes to say a really verboten word, and a couple that's not quite as happy as we thought.

• Emmy-winning actress Kristen Johnston is selling her West Village duplex. The two-bedroom condo at 296 West 10th Street, which comes with solarium and terrace, "custom window treatments," and "Ralph Lauren carpet in the den," hit the market for $1.795 million late last week. [Cityfile, Corcoran]
• Retired Continental Airlines CEO Gordon Bethune has paid $5.882 million for a third-floor apartment at The Beresford on Central Park West. The three-bedroom pad had been listed for $6.95 million most recently. [Cityfile]
• Dr. Gary Roubin, Lenox Hill's chief of interventional cardiology, has re-listed the carriage house at 168 East 73rd Street he went into contract to sell in May. The deal fell through earlier this month, so now the 6,800-square-foot home is back on the market for $16.5 million. [Cityfile, SSNYC]

Anna Kournikova viciously brawls with another woman in a Vegas club, Leighton Meester sings and acts in a video for Cobra Starship, Michael Jackson looked frail on stage at his concert rehearsals and Chris Brown gets shut down by Jay-Z.

Vincent D'Onofrio turns 50 today. Mr. Mike Tyson is turning 43. Italian fashion heiress Allegra Versace is 23. American Idol's Fantasia Barrino is turning 25. Lizzy Caplan of Mean Girls and True Blood is 27. Nightlifer Noel Ashman, the former owner of the Plumm, is turning 39. Famed conductor Esa-Pekka Salonen is 51. Matisyahu is 30. And actor/comedian David Alan Grier turns 54 today.

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick took home their adopted twin daughters, Marion and Tabitha, last week. Now they've released a photo of the whole family. Cute! And a nice palate cleanser after all the sordid Michael Jackson news the past few days, no? [People]
• Speaking of grim details from the Jackson case, here's what you may have missed over the last day or so: The doctor at Jackson's house couldn't call 911 for more than half an hour because he couldn't find a working phone (Jackson disconnected them for "privacy reasons); drugs, insiders says, were most likely the cause of death (duh); and Jackson's last will, which dates back to 2002, provided for his kids and mom, but cut his father out completely. [TMZ]

The Daily News brings us a few photos inside Ruth and Bernie Madoff's Upper East Side penthouse today, so if you've been dying for a peek at the pattern of their $35,000 Persian carpet—which, like everything else in the apartment, will be up for auction at some point in the future—you're in luck.

So Bernie Madoff was sentenced yesterday to 150 years in prison, but he's already been locked up for a few months, where, according to the Daily Show's John Oliver, he's been running another Ponzi scheme!

In a comment thread from a post earlier tonight about Alice Hoffman, commenter PromQueen mentioned that Richard Ford once shot up one of Hoffman's books after she "wrote nasty things" when she reviewed his work for the New York Times.

So in the last couple of hours the internet has been buzzing with false rumors that Rick Astley was found dead in a Berlin hotel room. ASSME's Steve Huff thinks this was the work of those dastardly 4Chan people. [ASSME]

Well you knew this was coming after the LA Times got scooped in their own backyard—An article went up yesterday on their website wondering, "How would we have reacted if TMZ had been wrong about Michael Jackson's death?"

A Yemenia Airlines Airbus A310 has crashed into the Indian Ocean off of Comoros' coast.

Surely you're wondering what Glenn Beck was up to tonight, no? Oh, the usual, you know, insinuating that Barack Obama is a communist dictator because he condemned the military coup in Honduras, just like Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez did.

The absurd follies at OK! Magazine, British publisher Richard Desmond's cash-hemorrhaging tabloid weekly, never seem to end. This week they're tossing a desperate "Hail Mary" by paying huge to plaster an image of a dying Michael Jackson on their cover.

Alice Hoffman, America's most hypersensitive to criticism novelist, issued a statement this afternoon after publishing Roberta Silman's phone number and calling her names on Twitter after Silman wrote a negative review of Hoffman's new book in the Boston Globe.

The deaths of Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett and Ed McMahon were catastropic... to Tyler Florence's publicity efforts. Also apparently tragic: having to ride to a resort town on a private jet, and the incessant printing of the New York Times.

• Coco Rocha may have only been "observing" at Vogue a few weeks ago, but Chanel Iman says she actually spent past of last week interning at Teen Vogue. [Fashionologie, Grazia]
• Is the Costume Institute Gala planning a new approach next year? Some insiders tell the Daily it will be a "much less splashy affair" the next time around, with more benefactors in attendance and fewer models and celebrities. [FWD]
• A couple of weeks ago, it seemed Esteban Cortazar had decided to split with Emanuel Ungaro. Now it looks like he's staying put. For the moment, at least. [WWD, Cut]
• An interview with Stacey Bendet, whose alice + olivia line now rakes in more $50 million a year, she says. [ObsessedTV]