Look at this nasty ad for shingles medication. It is featured prominently on the New York Times home page today. Is there no gross ad the Hobo NYT will not display, in exchange for precious money? (Click for full grossness!)

• The Harry Potter frenzy kicked off last night when the latest installment debuted at midnight last night and raked in $22.2 million in the process. [THR]
• Jared Kushner's struggling Observer is still hunting for a new editor. [DF]
• Time Inc. has "assembled a high-level SWAT team" to revamp Fortune. [NYP]
• The most successful magazine at the moment? Fitness. Obviously! [Folio]
• Ukraine's Culture Ministry has banned Brüno because "it's immoral." [THR]
• A hacker accessed the computers of several Twitter employees, made off with a big bunch of documents, and is now leaking the info online. Technology! [TC]
• Is NBC's wacky, new terrorist-hunting reality show going to put war correspondents in danger's way? Guess we'll find out shortly, right? [NYO]

Arianna Huffington's 59th birthday has been nothing if not dramatic. The internet publisher returned to her birthplace of Athens, Greece before ending up in Dubrovnik, Croatia, possibly via David Geffen's boat. Then, Huffington did whatever Twitter told her to.

It's a dream come true for the fame-obsessed: "A volunteer tour organization called Big Apple Greeters is offering free personalized tours led by celebrities. Former New York Giants running back Tiki Barber and "Sopranos" star Dominic Chianese were at City Hall on Wednesday to advertise their services." You can find more info here. And you can thank us later. [AP]

[Bobby Patentleather and Emilie de Ravin filming in New York; image via Bauer-Griffin]

In your level-headed Wednesday media column: Jared Kushner congratulates his busy employees, the New York Times Co. explains how broke it is, a great idea for J-schools, and Fitness magazine finds success in fat America, somehow.

Lindsay Lohan's abandoned pregnancy picture has been adopted by ABC's Family Channel. And it's set to air this weekend! Hmm let's check out the chop-job ABC had to do to get this flick family ready.

Steve Jobs can finally build his dream home; the Woodside City Council approved plans to dismember the mansion he owns and detests. But the Apple CEO must give the pieces to someone who knows from good architecture. Oh, snap!

Meow! Last night's episode was all about people being bitchy. Girls being bitchy, boys being bitchy, couples being bitchy, dates being bitchy. Bitchiest of all, though, was darling PC Peterson, a confused and disorderly young man who's basically King Bitch.

If Tory Burch is feeling the effects of the economic downturn, she certainly isn't showing it. The designer and social fixture is now petitioning Southampton's Architectural Review Board for permission to demolish the Meadow Lane home that she purchased for $22.5 million earlier this year.

Capitol Hill is hosting "what could be the largest gathering of American shark-attack survivors to date," with shark victims demanding Congress act immediately to destroy the vicious serial killers of the sea. Wait, no, they want to save sharks?

Remember the 90's? The decade when America ran out of cocaine and was forced to go to the movies instead? Some of those movies were really good! So why did those filmmakers turn out to be so disappointing?

A hacker compromised various online accounts of Twitter staff, and while the company insists Twitter's own servers were not breached, the attack exposed internal documents gleaned elsewhere — showing the company's hubris and employees' growing sense of entitlement.

The Way We Live Now: In Manhattan! You can rent office space there now, cheap! Well, not you. "You" are a part-time chicken farmer and failed celebrity chef. But, you know, other people can rent in Manhattan!

You know what? The House Democrats' Health Care reform bill is... pretty ok! We have no serious problems with it, besides its not just being goddamn single-payer. But there are so many ways for things to still go seriously wrong!

Are you still trying to write the perfect 140 character review for Harry Potter? Whatever you say, Quentin Tarantino thinks he could do it better. Also, they're going to bring back the Twlight Zone it will be the awful revision.

Oh, holy god. Remember when Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire while filming a Pepsi commercial in 1984? Well Us Weekly got the harrowing footage and claims the injury spurred his terrible painkiller addiction. His head just... catches on fire.

How has Arianna Huffington been spending her 59th birthday? She started the day in Greece before making her way to Croatia, reportedly aboard the Rising Sun, the 454-foot, $250 million yacht that is co-owned by billionaires David Geffen and Larry Ellison. [Gawker]

ABC News' Jake "The Octogon" Tapper thinks NBC News is totally "slimy" for their gross and "insulting" reporting during South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford's disappearance. The nerve of those guys, suggesting that something untoward was going on!

Josh Lucas—romcom star, nightlife regular, Matthew McConaughey admirer—seems like a nice guy, right? Well. As long as he's doing his yoga. When Josh Lucas stops doing his yoga...well, you wouldn't like Josh Lucas then.