In your whopping Thursday media column: South Africa's president wins a libel case, Creative Loafing's tenuous existence, RBI's selling everything, and the latest problem with saving the New York Times.

You don't usually see the names Sheila Bair and Anna Wintour mentioned in the same sentence. Bair, of course, is the supremely powerful chairwoman of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. Wintour is the supremely powerful editor-in-chief of Vogue. But now the two have collided. And, oh, yes. It is on.

Paul Giamatti ruined Twilight. Director Paul Haggis inexplicably continues to get work. The Watchmen ruins Nic Cage's DVD's dominance. Howard Zinn ruins Matt Damon or vice-versa.

"Pheromone"-infused body wash to lure the ladies: Pretty fucking stupid bit of pseudoscience, honestly. But the New York Times will turn this city upside down to find a lady seduced by pheromones' sexy powers!

Are you moving to Washington, DC? You won't need to worry about finding a place to live! Karl Rove's house—featuring an oil portrait of George Washington, a stag head, and "a couple of yellow floral sofas that would make chintz queen Mario Buatta wet his pants with glee—is currently on the market for $1,585,000. Enjoy! [Real Estalker]

Sarah Palin honored the Great State of Alaska at her resignation ceremony Sunday by serving tubes of processed meat in soggy buns to mouthbreathers citizens at a park that used to be called Alaskaland. The Anchorage Press has some scenery.

Things have gone from bad to worse for photographer Annie Leibovitz. The glorified pawn shop (or "art finance firm," as they prefer to be known) that lent Leibovitz boatloads of money against every photo she has ever taken as well as the value of the real estate she owns in the West Village and upstate New York, has filed a breach of contract lawsuit against her. It's accusing her of "boldly deceptive conduct" for not allowing appraisers to come inside her home: "Among other demands in the suit, the company, Art Capital Group, based in Manhattan, is asking the court to order Ms. Leibovitz to allow real estate agents access to her town houses in Greenwich Village so the property can be appraised and prepared for sale to pay back the loans." [NYT]

Twitter has been a boon to mobile food vendors, allowing fans to find them wherever their carts might be. But their location-hopping threatens upsetting the entire order on which food vendor peace rests.

You thought you'd go your whole day without some belligerent Mel Gibson news? Never! At a nightclub, with his pregnant girlfriend last night, Gibson got into a kerfuffle with a "pushy report". Then a T-shirt got ripped.

Dog Snuggies are here.

New York's bad-ass attorney general, Andrew Cuomo, has been looking into compensation on Wall Street for, like, nine months now. And now the fruits of his labor have been unveiled for all to see! Cuomo released a report today called "No Rhyme or Reason: The 'Heads I Win, Tails You Lose' Bank Bonus Culture," in which he says—surprise!—big banks don't usually tie annual compensation to performance, and still pay out massive bonuses even in years when they don't record a profit. How surprising! (It's a good thing we don't tie the state tax rate to the performance of elected officials, too.) Unfortunately, Cuomo's 22-page report doesn't include the names of these Wall Streeters who are raking it in, but he does share a few facts you may find interesting.

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian's 5WPR threatens to sue alt-weekly for its cover story on 5W client Cinergy Health; soon afterwards, emails same alt-weekly a press release offering Cinergy's CEO for interviews. Sounds about right. [Houston Press]

Search expert Sasha Blair-Goldesohn was walking through Central Park yesterday morning when a rotting tree branch, 4-plus inches thick and 100 pounds, snapped off and hit him in the head. The Google engineer is now in a coma.

Leonardo DiCaprio, 34, goes for a bicycle ride around Notting Hill. Pic via Bauer-Griffin.

Newsweek has declared the end of the Great Recession, which is great news for the 15 million unemployed people. Or is it? Because the magazine has also cobbled together an online only feature on how "fun" the Great Depression was.

This memo just went out to all employees of Men's Health publisher Rodale: CEO Steve Murphy is leaving the company, being replaced by Maria Rodale.

Is Rudy Giuliani planning to run for governor? He's been flirting with the idea for months now. And he still isn't saying, suggesting this morning that the decision will ultimately depend on how "bad" things get in New York: "I got elected mayor, I believe, on the theory of—it can't get worse. So if it gets to that point, maybe I'll decide [to go for it]." And how much worse do things have to get before he decides to throw his hat into the ring?

Yesterday veteran New Hampshire Union Leader sports reporter Kevin Provencher was arrested and charged with being a pimp. Seriously! Now we have the full criminal complaint against him; sexytime "auditions" and big money, below.

Cityfile has partnered with Dr. Helen Fisher to bring you the latest insight into love and romantic attraction. A renowned biological anthropologist, Dr. Fisher has conducted extensive research in the fields of human sexuality, love and marriage. She serves as Chief Scientific Advisor for the internet dating site Chemistry.com.

Anna Wintour has come up with a genius way to save the dying fashion business: Why doesn't everyone just collude on prices? So what if it's illegal? She has "friends in the White House."