Rielle Hunter, the former mistress and current baby-mama to moral cripple John Edwards, is ratting him out (we hope) to a federal grand jury investigating whether Edwards violated campaign-finance laws by paying her $114,000 to keep her mouth shut.

Noooo: Both Twitter and Facebook are flailing this morning. How will people plan their evening drinking sessions? And are they expected to actually put in an honest day's work in the meantime? It's a Thursday in August, for God's sake.

PETA's gift to children: "Unhappy Meals" containing "a 'menacing, knife-wielding' Ronald McDonald cutout, a ketchup packet disguised as chicken blood, a plastic chicken covered in 'blood' and a 'McCruelty' t-shirt." Less violent than a GI Joe Kids Meal! [via Deceiver]

Supermodel Karolina Kurkova is pregnant, as you may have heard. Naturally, this means that what has taken place since the dawn of humanity is now totally trendy: "You know, it's probably the new thing to be pregnant," she says. "It's not to have the Chanel python bag. It's to be pregnant." [AP]

What if our corporate overlords could measure precisely how one single city block—yours—would respond to their advertisements for Pringles™ brand astronaut potatoes, to offer a delicious example? They would use this power for racism, obvs.

AIG has been a big disaster the last few months, hasn't it? Not if you happen to work for Morgan Stanley, Deutsche Bank, or BlackRock, or any of the other dozen or so banks and law firms expected to rake in as much as $1 billion breaking apart the insurance giant. But at least one firm involved in the process is making it clear that they see this as a civic mission—not just a convenient way to generate fat fees. The law firm Davis Polk & Wardwell has generously offered up a 10 percent discount on its services, so it's only billing the federal government $950 an hour for legal advice. Thanks, guys! [WSJ]

The indignity! The Daily News has a list of ways you can go out and have fun without spending more $100—and the recommendations are inspired by Ruth Madoff since, "It's time for Ruth to join the rest of us in the real world." Among the suggestions: knocking back a few at Billy's Sports Bar in the Bronx and watching free movies at Socrates Sculpture Park in Long Island City. [NYDN]

Today we have a 'controversial' actress whose 'partner' is leaving her, a singer dude who tried to make out with (crossdressing) straights, and an actor who wants to know if you like fucking a star, baby, tell me!

Whitney Port eating lunch at Felix on West Broadway ... Ivanka Trump talking on her cell phone ... Mary J. Blige heading into Da Silvano, and later picking up frozen yogurt in SoHo ... Ed Westwick talking on his phone ... Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos shopping in SoHo ... Jennifer Aniston leaning on a taxi on the set of The Bounty downtown ... James Franco playing a guitar on the set of Eat, Pray, Love ... Channing Tatum leaving the Gramercy Park hotel ... Hilary Duff exiting her trailer on the Gossip Girl set with rollers in her hair, and later getting a visit from boyfriend Mike Comrie ... Wynonna Judd leaving the Trump International Hotel ... and the rapper Mase chatting on a payphone.

• Julianne Moore's West Village townhouse is up for sale. Moore picked up the five-story, six-bedroom home on West 11th Street for $3.5 million in 2003. It can now be yours for $11.95 million. [NYO, Sotheby's, Curbed]
• Emeril Lagasse has closed on the purchase of developer Penny Bradley's 6,900-square-foot townhouse at 158 East 61st Street for "around" its most recent asking price of $11.5 million. Now that he's found a new place to store his pots and pans, the chef and Food Network fixture has put his condo at the Beekman Regent up for sale for $5.995 million. [NYP, BHS]
• Chris Burch, the entrepreneur and ex-husband of Tory Burch, has picked up a new Hamptons home. Burch paid "around $9 million" for the Southampton estate of disgraced Bear Stearns exec Ralph Cioffi. The property had been listed at $10.7 million when it went into contract last month. [NYP]

Sheila Bair, the chairwoman of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, wasn't sufficiently "glamorous" to earn herself coverage in Vogue recently. But she's making progress! Business Insider's Moe Tkacik reports Bair unveiled a new haircut and color this week when she appeared on Bloomberg TV. Maybe Anna Wintour was watching and has since reconsidered? Let's hope so. [Business Insider, previously]

Josh Schwartz, the man responsible for bringing you The OC and Gossip Girl, turns 33 today. Jim McGreevey, the man responsible for bringing New Jersey its most embarrassing political scandal—up until two weeks ago, that is—turns 52. Director M. Night Shyamalan is turning 39. Karenna Gore Schiff, the novelist daughter of Al and Tipper Gore, is turning 36. Publishing exec Jamie Raab is 56. American Express' marketing chief, John Hayes, is turning 55. Victoria's Secret model Marisa Miller is 31. Actress Melissa George is turning 33. Reality TV star Adrianne Curry is 27. Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell is turning 37. And Soleil Moon Frye, who will always be Punky Brewster to you and me, celebrates her 33rd birthday today.

Victoria Beckham is rumored to be replacing Paula Abdul on Idol, Brad Pitt was once a stoner, K-Fed is getting paid to lose weight, Jude Law's new lady friend was a Hooters waitress in Florida and Kristin Davis spurns OXFAM.

• The "designer dog house" that Paris Hilton had built recently—which is equipped with chandeliers and air-conditioning—cost her $325K, or considerably more than what most Americans spends on human homes. [Luxist]
• Rosie O'Donnell and her partner Kelli Carpenter-O'Donnell are not splitting up, you'll undoubtedly be relieved to hear. [People]
• Kristin Davis of Sex and the City fame has found herself caught up in a dispute over Middle Eastern politics. You didn't expect to hear that, did you? [P6]
• Did MSNBC's Keith Olbermann use some pull to snag his girlfriend a job working as a reporter for WNBC? It wouldn't be the first time! [P6]

Weeks ago Conan acquired wax replicas of Tom Cruise and The Fonz, and since then they've become regulars on the Tonight Show. Tonight, he shot them both out of the Ringling Brothers cannon and it was awesome.

Rupert Murdoch announced plans yesterday to charge for online access to all of News Corp's media properties. Coincidentally, the company posted a $203 million loss for its fourth quarter, down from a profit of $1.1 billion from the same period last year.

The gays! They're out there, being painfully gay, and this offends some folks, including some of the very gays who're out there being gay! For this reason, some gays attempt to convert to straightdom, which science now says is ridiculous.

On Monday night, in response to a Times report alleging that Fox and NBC had brokered a deal to end his feud with Bill O'Reilly, Keith Olbermann lashed out at the world. Tonight it was O'Reilly's turn to rebel.

In a move sure to inspire more film-geek loin-warming than Monica Bellucci, Disney has fired the unbelievably horrible Ben Lyons, who pronounced I Am Legend "one of the greatest movies ever made," and Ben Mankiewicz, as At the Movies co-hosts.

Every day hordes of bloggers trudge down to their local cafes to camp out all day, gorging on free wi-fi for the cost of a latte. But now the cafes are saying "no more!", and it's all because of the unemployed.