• Two years after he was booted from MSNBC and CBS Radio for making racist comments, Fox Business is now in talks to team up with Don Imus. [LAT]
• Is Hachette selling Elle? The company seems to be hedging. [AdAge]
• Magazine publishers are allowing advertisers to slap their ads just about any place they want these days. They're also planning to keep printing those annoying subscription cards until the end of time. [NYT, AdAge]
• ABC is planning a big programming push for the fall with seven new series set to debut, which is roughly double what NBC and CBS have planned. [USAT]
• CNBC's ratings are down big, in case you haven't heard. [Guardian]
• G.I. Joe was No. 1 at the box office this weekend, grossing an estimated $56 million. Julie and Julia came in second place with $20.1 million. [Variety]

The migration of print and TV journalists to the Web has turned into a rush. Welcome, all of you, but we're starting to wonder: have you been paying any attention at all to internet publishing over the past 10 years?

As you can see in this confusing and poorly shot amateur video, Gladney was brutally beaten by goons and required immediate medical care (he is the guy who is briefly knocked over 6 seconds into the video and who is then shown up and running around and acting pretty much fine for the remaining 3 minutes). He got a lawyer and went to the hospital. (Maybe even in that order!)

Last Week, Lady Gaga accidently/on-purpose showed off her penis to the world. We don't think she's really a hermaphrodite, but the fiction has already joined the great pantheon of celebrity urban myths.

The Way We Live Now: Still unemployed, why the fuck do you keep asking? Hamptons parking sticker theft can only keep us going for so long, ya know. If New York doesn't get a Wal-Mart soon, it's panic time.

Michael Bloomberg first mentioned he had a little thing for Salma Hayek a few years ago when he suggested he'd move into Gracie Mansion if Hayek moved in with him. It looks like the mayor is still clinging to the fantasy. According to Joyce Purnick, author of Mike Bloomberg: The Mogul and the Mayor, [deputy mayor] Patti Harris "has been known to scold him for his sly appreciations of the female form," and yet he still slips into "lusty reminiscences about celebrity conquests and equally colorful fantasies about how he would like to entertain Salma Hayek in Gracie Mansion." Could this be the reason Bloomberg has been increasingly "short-tempered, scolding, even petulant" in recent months? Let's hope someone gets these two in a room together so we can find out once and for all. [NYDN]

Why not make your realtor a shirtless globe-holding Gay Chicago Realtor? [via Real-ad-tors. Previously: More of America's best realtor ads.]

Some liberals and elected Democrats have asserted that the anti-health care reform town hall protesters are engaged in "astroturfing," a term meaning corporate-sponsored pretend grassroots activity. But Fox has definitively disproved that.

The gossip world giveth jobs, and the gossip world taketh jobs away. Last week, Page Six hired Emily Smith to replace departed deputy editor Paula Froelich. Now, the column has let Bill Hoffman go. What happened?

Recently-departed filmmaker John Hughes was known for making insightful but fantastical movies about teens. His death was an unexpected boon for a group of young filmmakers wrapping up a documentary about him. It's like his ghost sewed their prom dress!

Victims of Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme may have to wait 15 years before all of his assets are accounted for and re-distributed. Serving as the court-appointed receiver or trustee assigned to wind down a Ponzi scheme? That may be one of the most lucrative assignments around.

Craigslist replaced its much-maligned "erotic services" section with a more responsible "adult" section. So were prostitutes driven away by mandatory credit card payments and staff review of their ads? No, they just got more subtle. Hooker subtle!

Gordon Ramsay is famous for three things: Cooking, cussing, and overseeing a rapidly declining restaurant empire. But fame conquers all! Gordon can be the Donald Trump of food. It's okay.

Television networks are dying, so they've stopped paying "experts" to come on their news shows. Does that stop the "experts" from showing up at the Today studio at 6:30 a.m.? No, they do it for nothing.

American Entrepreneur, have you heard of Dubai? It is a capitalist paradise! A veritable Galt's Gulch of the Gulf. A playground for the wealthy built on cheap foreign labor, oil, tourism, and real estate speculation? What could go wrong!

[Christie Brinkley poses with a four-legged friend at the 20th Annual Family Day Wild, Wild West Carnival in Bridgehampton. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Today will go down as one of the hottest of the summer—thus far, at least—so if you can sneak out of your office and head to Central Park, this would probably be a good day to do that. Of course, this also means that the NYC is officially ten times smellier today, as the 93-degree temperatures take a toll on the four-day-old Chinese food sitting in the trash can on your corner. What can you do about that? Nothing, really, which may explain why the Daily News has decided to instead focus on how to make sure your husband or wife doesn't notice the scent of the man or woman you've been having a summer fling with:

Charles Perez was the perfect blow-dried sex symbol Miami news anchor. But he was gay, and last week he was fired. And while the station say Perez's gay-ness was immaterial, he says it had everything to do with getting canned.

Henry Blodget was a famous Merrill Lynch analyst who got rich by hyping internet stocks in the 1990s until Eliot Spitzer caught him lying. Then Eliot Spitzer got caught choking hookers, and now they're hanging out on the internet together.

It may take 15 years for Madoff victims to get their full payouts. Budget now!