Pimpin' ain't easy, but pimpin' while commuting from your La Jolla beach house to occasional evening confinement with a friendly roomie in a San Diego penal facility is jelly, according to convicted Ayn Rand interpretationist Dinesh D'Souza in a new bizarre video profile by Vanity Fair.

Yesterday, Molly Hennessy-Fiske at The Los Angeles Times received a letter from a person claiming to be Robert Durst. The letter rambles on about a variety of topics, including traffic in L.A. and Houston, the NFL, opera, a beloved coffee shop, and Durst's health.

Us Weekly is reporting that Bobby Flay, the celebrity chef with the no-bullshit-hotshot-I'm-from-the-bad-part-of-the-UES attitude, has separated from his third wife, Law & Order: SVU actress Stephanie March. Are the pair heading for divorce? Is Flay about to go from outta the frying pan...and into the criminal justice system, where sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous?

Look at this, a person who actually lived a nightmare scenario from hell that you might've dreamt during the worst sleep of your life: a Utah man showed up in a polo shirt during an important meeting with Barack Obama.

Everyone's favorite alleged murderer Robert Durst pleaded not guilty to gun charges in Louisiana today. The real estate heir and compulsive blinker was indicted by a grand jury yesterday on one count of possession of a firearm as a felon and one count possessing a firearm in the presence of a controlled substance.

Earlier this week, Ed Snowden sat down with John Oliver in what turned out to be his first real, substantive interview since his stint in Russia began. Now, Last Week Tonight has released an extra clip in which Snowden offers us all a few, handy security tips. First and foremost: Your password probably sucks.

Anthony Bourdain was last seen eating sushi at the Narita International Airport in Japan, a fact I can confirm by cross-checking his Instagram feed. Bourdain's forthcoming international street food market, on the other hand, is making ripples in the press with its latest splashy update. Like Frankenstein's monster, Bourdain Market has begun to rise.

This morning, a group of low-wage contract workers who do jobs for the federal government are filing a complaint claiming wage theft. Even the janitor who cleans the Secretary of Education's office says she's not being paid what she deserves. [UPDATED below.]

Walter Scott was not the first unarmed black man to suffer the violence of North Charleston Police Officer Michael Slager, according to documents obtained by the Associated Press. In 2013, Slager allegedly pulled a man from his home and Tasered him multiple times, despite that man being unarmed and having committed no crime.

According to a report in the Washington Post, the Secret Service has suspended Xavier Morales, a security clearance manager for the department, after one of his employees accused him of making unwanted sexual advances in the division's Washington headquarters.

"New York Times photographer Steven Crowley graciously shares with the pool that POTUS reminisced as he looked at a wall of framed records [at the Bob Marley museum], 'I still have all the albums.'"

Thou shalt prayeth away the gay no more, sayeth the White House Wednesday.

Scientology leader David Miscavige was apparently so paranoid he hired two private detectives to keep tabs on his father and advised them to "not intervene in any way" if the 79-year-old had a heart attack.

There is, as it turns out, something more mortifying than watching R-rated sex scenes with your family.

This new Vice report on mental illness in Chicago's jails is enough to make you wonder whether mass incarceration is a less than perfect solution to America's social problems.

We're all gonna die someday. Just you wait. Perhaps you'll die with dignity and you'll be missed; maybe not. If a bobcat came into your water bed and yanked you straight from your happy life into the depths of hell, that would be an okay way to die. A death with purpose.

Moon formation! Alien life! Fish death! Muscle appreciation! Dark studies! Robo-gloves! Arctic tundra! And the downfall of Western civilization! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—like a toad watch a bug.

Michael T. Slager—the white police officer arrested Tuesday and charged with murder after video surfaced of him gunning down an unarmed black man, Walter L. Scott—has been fired from the North Charleston, S.C. police force. He had served for five years.

This puking dog selfie currently circulating on Twitter first appeared on Reddit in September 2014.

Just as several states now legally obligate doctors to lie to women about the dangers of abortion, Arkansas now has its own law forcing doctors to peddle bullshit. Physicians in the state will be required to tell any woman taking abortion-inducing drugs that she can reverse the process mid-treatment—a claim that's based on pretty much nothing.