Buck up, underemployed aspiring media employees who are not celebuspawn: We've found you yet another opportunity for indentured servitude masquerading as a "media job." How'd you like to be a real live Editor in Chief, eh?

It came as a shock when the healthy-looking party planner Robert Isabell died of a heart attack in July. He survived wild nights at Studio 54 and working for Tina Brown, what was the cause? New York's suggestion: real estate.

The night before Joe Halderman was busted in a sting operation for trying to extort David Letterman out of $2 million, the Late Show aired a parody of a Geico ad that seems, in retrospect, rather prescient.

"Professional comedians find camaraderie and economic relief in an unlikely Queens neighborhood." Is Astoria really an "unlikely" Queens neighborhood, for white comedians? No. It's the most likely. Hollis would be unlikely. Every Allen Salkin story makes me so mad. [NYT]

[Mary-Kate Olsen, her boyfriend Nate Lowman, and his hat try to find barbershop quartet rehearsal in Paris on Saturday. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The High Line—the railroad-track park running through Manhattan's meatpacking district—will soon be more than a place for rich people fundraisers and ill-placed weddings. The Whitney museum is coming! As soon as they can raise half a billion bucks.

It's war! War between Obama and Fox! All that talk about Democrats being too weak to use American might was wrong: Obama will win Afghanistan and the afternoon!

While Lady Gaga was marching for gay rights, this star was slurring homophobic slurs in a bar, and this closeted politico was partying with the boys in New York. Also, Top Chef drama and druggie celebs. A gay old time!

Whoa: The British Medical Association is urging a complete ban on alcohol advertising and sponsorships in England, home to many drunks. But the media needs that money! Who's more disingenuous here—ad agencies, media companies, or doctors? It's close!

Penn Badgley and Blake Lively hailing a cab outside Billy's Bakery in Chelsea ... Drew Barrymore walking downtown ... Mickey Rourke smoking a cigarette on the street ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber pushing son Alexander in a stroller ... Hugh Jackman hanging out in the West Village with wife Deborah Lee and daughter Ava ... Julianne Moore walking downtown ... Matt Damon shooting scenes for The Adjustment Bureau outside the courthouses on Centre Street ... Susan Sarandon leaving Pastis ... Anderson Cooper leaving ABC studios after an appearance on Live with Regis and Kelly ... Penelope Cruz leaving her hotel ... reality TV star Gretchen Rossi and Slade Smiley kissing in the meatpacking district ... Chris Pine leaving the Bowery Hotel ... Hilary Duff going to see A Steady Rain on Broadway with a friend ... and Salma Hayek attempting to get past some paparazzi on the Upper West Side.

Lazard chairman and New York magazine owner Bruce Wasserstein was hospitalized this weekend with an irregular heartbeat. His company says "His condition is serious, but he is stable and recovering." Not buying Businessweek looks smarter now. [Know more? Email us.]

Hugh Jackman turns 41 today. Architect Richard Meier is turning 75. Jeweler David Yurman is 67. Novelist Richard Price is turning 60. Fox News' Chris Wallace turns 62. Katherine Farley, the new chairwoman of Lincoln Center and the wife of real estate honcho Jerry Speyer, is 60. Model/actress Irina Pantaeva turns 37. Former track and field star Marion Jones turns 34. Agent/producer Bryan Bantry is 53. Marko Jarić, the basketball player better known as Adriana Lima's baby-daddy, is turning 31. And actor-turned-Christian evangelist Kirk Cameron celebrates his 39th birthday today.

• A flight attendant who worked aboard Oprah Winfrey's private jet says she was falsely accused of having sex with a pilot mid-flight by another flight attendant and the daughter of Gayle King. And even though she passed the polygraph test she was given, she was fired because of it. So now she's filed a lawsuit against Oprah. Naturally. [NYDN]
• David Letterman isn't the only late-night comedian who's found romance in the workplace: Jimmy Kimmel, who split up with comedian Sarah Silverman back in March, is now dating one of the writers on his show. [People]
• Madonna has reportedly parted ways with her nutty trainer, Tracy Anderson. Explains a source: "Madonna had grown tired of the baggage that Tracy always seemed to be carrying with her. Tracy had grown to be more of a distraction than anything else." [P6]

Can someone please explain why Vince Vaughn's so popular? Seriously. Despite horrid reviews, his movie, Couples Retreat, which starred other, non-advertised celebrities like Jason Bateman, made $35 million this weekend. The recession sure isn't deep enough, huh? [Reuters]

One of Oprah's flight attendants wants monetary revenge for not having sex. Christina Hendricks got married. Jail makes Roman Polanski sad. And Blago and Trump's hair wars will be television gold. Happy Monday and welcome to your gossip roundup!

The internet's abuzz over the release of the late Michael Jackson's latest, "This is It." Listening to him sing about undying love is at once reassuring and distressful.

Remember Anthtrax? Terrorists were supposed to use it to kill democracy, but nothing much ever came of it all. Until now: an ER was evacuated after someone saw a white substance. Turns out it was just cocaine. Oops! [Salt-Lake Tribune]

Toilets are this season's hot dowry in India. Those women know what's up.

Here's something queer. President Obama spent 20 minutes of his Saturday night talking to gay group Human Rights Campaign and their well-heeled supporters. Some were happy to hear the President vow to end Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Others weren't. Understandably...

We were never fanatics, but we did always have a special place in our hearts for Irish boy band Boyzone. Especially for their token gay, Stephen Gately. Sadly, Mr. Gately has passed on. And the sensational, gay-tinged speculation has begun!