In your misogynist Thursday media column: a college man uses journalism to ensure every woman on campus hates him, the Hartford Courant is counterproductive, Stephen A. Smith is BACK, and Katie Couric makes a listicle.

This is probably the best thing to come out of the WB.com since the days of The OC. Childrens Hospital is a hilarious spoof on the vapid medical shows that have taken over primetime.

At this very moment, Levi Johnston is undressing for a Playgirl photo shoot. But last night he was at The Box accepting an award from Fleshbot while a scrum of reporters poked and probed the Wasilla boy for a story.

Let the record show that last night the Manhattan media crowd descended on The Box to see a youth from Wasilla receive a silver dildo for showing his penis. Photographs by the wonderful Nikola Tamindzic and Hee Jin Kang.

Awaken and behold the tale of six chefs, two hearts beating as one, a sad strip, a sassafras dream and a love supreme. I'm Joshua David Stein and this is your Top Chef recap.

Have you noticed that more and more social scenesters, models, and offspring of the rich and famous have morphed into DJs? It's a trend, as W points out:

Hailing from album of the same name, "Shake it Up" is clearly the perfect song to blast on a midnight ride around town in your bright red convertible.

This spring, construction workers at Goldman Sachs' new headquarters in Battery Park City discovered a pregnant feral cat. A local couple rescued the kittens and placed them in homes. Goldman Sachs agreed to pay for their veterinary costs. They didn't.

If there's one thing Hollywood loves it's a young overnight success. And if there's one thing Hollywood loves to destroy, it's a young overnight success. Congratulations Taylor Swift, the spotlight is yours.

The all-powerful National Pork Board has sicced its attorneys on make-your-own-clever-shirt site Neighborhoodies. The National Pork Board strongly disagrees with Alf's assertion that cats are "The Other White Meat."

Another possible sign that New York's real estate market is on the rebound: Mega-broker Sharon Baum, who told the Times earlier this year that she was giving up the hunter green Rolls-Royce she used to ferry clients around town because it made her "deeply uncomfortable" amid the downturn, is reversing course. The Corcoran agent—and one-time girlfriend of Mike Bloomberg!—tells the Observer she's using the Rolls once again, although she did decide to get rid of her Vespa recently, for what's it worth. [NYO]

A crackhead freaks out over a laser and attempts to chase it like a cat. Hilarity ensues.

On November 12th, 1970 the Oregon Highway Division blew up a rotting beached sperm whale and things did not go exactly as planned.

There's good news, bad news, more bad news and more good news for Goldman Sachs today. Let's review, shall we?

Fat: the silent menace of new moms and just plain fat people alike. Scientists now tell us that you must either have a small human suckle the fat off your body, or cut your own gut open, to slim down.

Collegiate Mark Zuckerberg just wore an endless series of gray hoodies, according to new photos a student sent us from the set of The Social Network. Hey, the young cyborg was starting Facebook, not a fashion house.

Carrie Prejean didn't take that call because she's a vicious, hateful idiot who has been propped up by gay men and women her entire pageant career and then totally sold them out for a shot at pathetic, fifteen-minute, fried American fame. And now she has to pay the piper for her devil's bargain and she's typically fucking unwilling to deal with it. She is as stringent and wholesale an example of the Christian Right's despicable doublespeak and hatred that has been poisoning our country for too long as there is in modern American society. She's an avatar, she's a monster. Carrie Prejean is a hateful bigot who will not tolerate being called on her shit. And we should not give her any amount of credence for it. That any member of the media, old Triceratops Larry King included, would give her any kind of due is just another shameful and sad example of the fact that rhetoric against gay people in this country is tacitly tolerated by popular media, because some wingnut idiots who believe that someone lived inside a whale for a few months threaten righteous rage if said media doesn't give lip service to their ridiculous, completely untrue, ancient assertions about what makes people's sexuality. The tyranny of religion in this country MUST END if we expect to get anything good and decent and progressive done in this fucked up swamp of a nation we live in. I've had it with this spectacular waste of life, and I've had it with people like Larry King putting up with her bullshit to meet a bottom line. I'm fucking done. I'm outraged. Say "Who cares about Carrie Prejean??" all you want, I CARE. This woman is an enormous example of why gay teenagers across this country kill themselves in droves every year. Gayness is equated with ugliness in every arena. Figures it was a beauty queen who should point this out.

Yesterday, fancy media types got together at the New York Times building to remember recently deceased columnist William Safire. The small talk, naturally, centered on the expensive schools where fancy media types send their kids.

When is it socially acceptable to talk about all the problems surrounding your backside? During late night infomercials of course! So if you're having ass-ues stay tuned for this once-in-a-life-time offer!

Iman crossing the street in SoHo ... Meg Ryan leaving Pastis after having lunch ... Jeremy Sisto pushing his daughter in a stroller in the West Village ... Sienna Miller getting in an SUV in Midtown ... Naomi Watts walking downtown with her son and her dog ... Katie Holmes shooting scenes for The Romantics in Southold, Long Island ... Levi Johnston walking around in a hoddie and holding a Men's Warehouse shopping bag ... Katharine McPhee checking in for a flight at LaGuardia ... Shakira leaving MTV studios in Times Square ... and Ashley Tisdale going to dinner at Ollie's on West 42nd Street.