Looks like we stumped you all on today's Freeze Frame. We reveal the answer after the jump.

Sy Syms, the founder of the Syms discount clothing chain and the man responsible for imprinting the company's slogan in all of our brains thanks to a million TV commercials ("an educated consumer is our best customer"), is dead at 83. Syms was a savvy showman till the very end, clearly: He died on the very same day the company's 50th anniversary sale ended. [AP]

An Australian senator has called for a criminal investigation into Scientology, alleging that the cult is "an abusive, manipulative, violent and criminal organization." The senator's name is Nick Xenophon. This is going to be good.

Hoarders is a show on A&E about people who can't part with their personal possessions and the issues that come from being an extreme pack-rat. This spoof centers around a problem between a man and his delete button.

The uniformly mustachioed Twitter addicts of the New York Times media desk are getting a documentary of their very own! Sounds pretty........interesting. Sorry, fell asleep there for a sec.

[Tina Fey gets fey lessons from Simon Doonan, creative director of Barneys New York, last night when the store unveiled its holiday windows that were inspired by Saturday Night Live. Image via Getty]

There are two types of girls that get married. Serious ones and fun ones. This video gallery features more of the second type of bride.

Slate honcho Jacob Weisberg has addressed Double X's shuttering as a stand-along entity in a memo, confirming some layoffs and characterizing the site's demotion to a section of Slate as "returning Double X to the womb from which it sprang."

Donald Trump and daughter Ivanka have given up on their bid to regain control of Trump Entertainment Resorts, the bankrupt company that controls the three crumbling Atlantic City casinos that bear the Trump name. In other not-so-encouraging news for the family, it's now considered "likely" that lenders will soon foreclose on Trump Soho, the epically troubled condo/hotel on Spring Street. Some good news? If you're feeling drowsy this afternoon, a visit to the Trump Soho website will wake you up and that's totally free of charge. [WSJ, Curbed]

Former New York Post editor Sandra Guzman sued the paper last week over lurid allegations of racism, sexism, and all-around dickishness on the part of editor Col Allan. They just sent this memo out telling staff to hush.

Love ignoring your wife? Hate when she says "are you even listening to me?!" Then your answer is the Spatsolver, a device that records the last five minutes of every conversation and delays your marriage from impending doom.

Don Dodge used to be an official evangelist for Microsoft, hyping the company's software and insulting its competitor Google. Then Microsoft laid him off, and Google hired him. Cue the bitter, flip-flopping blog post in which Dodge loudly switches sides.

This is the greatest moment in corporate branding since the Pepsi logo was revealed to be the entire universe. [PostSecret]

Adam Lambert has the difficult task of becoming a megastar while being openly gay. How can he be butch enough for the mainstream but gay enough for his homo fans? He can't, and the gays are fighting back already.

Ten days ago, John Reed apologized for his role in creating Citigroup. Now Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein is apologizing for anything Goldman did to precipitate the financial crisis: "We participated in things that were clearly wrong and have reason to regret," Blankfein said at a conference today. "We apologize." Then he stunned the crowd by announcing that Goldman would be turning over its fourth quarter profits to feed America's neediest, which would still leave the firm with about $16 billion to pay out year-end bonuses. Just kidding! He's not that sorry! [Bloomberg]

In these tough economic times, you may find yourself considering some "creative" alternative careers. Don't learn the hard way that pole dancing is harder than it looks: watch this and then go forth to play it safe with lap dances.

You walk by them all the time—the sleek, state-of-the-art gyms featuring buffed-out dudes doing their thing on the ellipticals. Join Equinox and stave off the winter fat you know is coming. Click here to redeem your 3-day pass!

Just as the public was learning that a huge chunk of Zynga's social gaming revenue came from scammy "quizzes" and "special offers," Silicon Valley's most prestigious venture capitalists rewarded the company with $15 million. Hey, that's just how VC's roll.

Courtney Love bid $120,000 at last night's Elton John Foundation benefit lto go out on a date with Bill Clinton. Fortunately for the former president, Love didn't end up winning the auction. But that's okay. She has fond memories of meeting Hillary Clinton a few years ago: "I had breakfast with [Hillary Clinton] once at the Chateau Marmont in about 2004. We have the same hairdresser. We had a great breakfast—she's great, she gossips. We gossiped and we talked about corporate mergers. She's a lot more fun than you would think." [NYM/Vulture]

Last year's financial collapse was made possible by the greed and incompetence of credit rating agencies, who got paid to lie about the value of subprime debt. It turns out they were responsible for the Goldman Sachs bailout, too.