According to the Wall Street Journal Andrew and Mark Madoff are putting the feelers out and whipping their resumes into shape. Which must count as a lesson in optimism.

Yesterday it was news that the public option had died in the Senate healthcare bill. Today it's news that Senators think it's a good thing. Oh well. It was a nice idea. Back to poverty and sickness everyone!

• Lindsay Lohan landed in India yesterday where she's taking part in a BBC documentary on child sex trafficking. And she's already making a difference! Just hours after landing, she hopped on Twitter to proclaim that "over 40 children" have been "saved so far." What she did to save these kids isn't clear (especially when she could use some saving herself), but why quibble over details? [Us]
• In other (and more dubious) LiLo news, the Daily News reports that Lohan has a new man: "Lindsay Lohan is covering all her bases before she ships off to India—and that includes kissing several boys goodbye." Given she's already left the country, you may want to ignore what follows from there, but the guy she's supposedly seeing is Adam Senn, the model and bad boy from first season of The City, who met LiLo during Fashion Week and is someone Senn is hoping to "get to know even better." [NYDN]
• Have Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel broken up? Who knows, but he was supposedly seen flirting with a bunch of women the other night. [P6]
• Today in Tiger: The number of women Woods has been cheating with hit 13 yesterday afternoon, just as racy text messages that Tiger sent Jaimee Grubbs and Rachel Uchitel surfaced. In other Tiger mistress news, a video featuring porn star Holly Sampson bragging about having sex with Tiger Woods also turned up yesterday. And Uchitel is supposedly planning to get tested for STDs now that she's found out how many women Tiger has been hooking up with.

The Daily News find more sex at the sexy school where two sexy female teachers (pictured) romped! Now another sexy teacher is accused of... stuff... with a student.

Ubiquitous TV chef Bobby Flay turns 45 today. The nation's nuttiest ex-governor, Rod Blagojevich, is turning 53. Actress Emmanuelle Chriqui is 32. Adam Weinberg, the director of the Whitney Museum, is 55. Verizon chief executive Ivan Seidenberg is turning 63. Meg White of The White Stripes turns 35. Actor Kenneth Branagh is 49. Actress Summer Phoenix, the sister of Joaquin and the late River Phoenix, is 31. Former CIA director Porter Goss is 71. And Marko Jarik, the NBA player who also happens to be married to supermodel Adriana Lima, is 31.

The worst meltdown of Casey Johnson's life coincides with a career high for Tila Tequila, a mysterious flower bouquet arrives at the Woods residence, and Liza Minnelli settles a $100M lawsuit for sexually assaulting her bodyguard. Thursday gossip, voila.

Page Six report, via Popeater, that Playgirl may have made a loss on the not-quite-naked Levi Johnston photoshoot .

Most recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize luxuriate in it — they accept invitations to lunch with the Norwegian king, go to concerts, give press conferences. Not Barack Obama. He's doing the drive-through Nobel experience.

Mark Sanford, South Carolina Governor and haver-of-affairs, will probably not be impeached.

Got a non-white person on your Christmas list? Know nothing about him/her other than his/her race? For racist grannies who maybe feel funny about their adopted Chinese grandkids, The New York Times offers a very special "Of Color" gift guide.

If the amount of money someone sues Sacha Baron Cohen for reflects how pissed off they are about him making them look stupid on camera, then this Palestinian is by far the most pissed off. He's suing for $110 million.

Corollary: 20 percent of America does not know what an impeachable offense is. "There may be a certain segment of voters... that simply think the president doing things they don't agree with is grounds for removal from office." [WashIndy]

Apparently Esquire's Tom Junod interviewed Carrie Underwood, but instead of printing a profile, they just listed a bunch of quotes under the headline "What I've Learned," and it's the most unintentionally depressing portrait-in-a-series-of-mosaic-like-glimpses ever.

As usual, Barbara Walters' "Most Fascinating People of the Year" special wrongly assumed public fascination with a person somehow confers on them the quality of being fascinating. What was most fascinating were Walters' funny faces when she talked about sexuality.

Season six of Top Chef ended tonight, and a winner has been crowned. Was it Kevin ("Beardo," to the live bloggers), or did one of the Voltaggio brothers—Bryan or Michael—come out on top?

Today marks the day that Sarah Palin rose from mere fame to 80s-hair-metal-trashing-hotel-rooms-snorting-coke-in-the-tour-bus-level superstardom. She signed some woman's chest with a Sharpie at a Utah Costco. Red and Blue America: Put aside your differences for a sec and give props.

Awkward, unexplained live television moments—a la Spaghetti Cat—have been popping up a lot recently. Last month, it was Miss Piggy on Dancing with the Stars. Tonight, we present a plethora of WTF, courtesy of Larry King Live.

Even as we text more with each passing month, we find ourselves wondering why exchanging sentence-long, misspelled emails has become the preferred mode of flirting for anyone under 40. Texting sucks for flirting; the Tiger Woods-Jamiee Grubbs messages prove it.

The legendary Dave Chappelle kills it in this video with his unstoppable "Grape Drink" bit from his second special "For What It's Worth" at the Fillmore in San Francisco.

Bravo is still calling this show Top Chef: Las Vegas, even though we left Sin City weeks ago. If I were to suggest a new, more accurate name for it at this point, I'd go with: Top Chef: Suspense!