Zookeepers at the Bronx Zoo give these squirrel monkeys a special treat they've never had before: Jell-O filled with blueberries. Hesitant at first, the monkeys end up absolutely loving this rare and slippery treat. Sure beats eating their own poo.

Its a holiday, so naturally the regular Today Show anchors are on their respective vacations. Thus, we're left with the Bush League—and moments like these.

This little girl sings her ABC's while her brother provides the harmony.

He's cruising Rentboy.com like a pro looking for the barely legal. While he picks up boys, this actress picks at her food, and a Hollywood legend picks up a gun—for murder! Pick up the last blind items of 2009.

On December 31 everyone is thinking about ways to improve themselves for the coming year. Why bother? That will all be forgotten by February 12, and then you'll still have problems and be a failure. But we're here to help!

According to a NYT fake trend story, lots of thinkers these days are dedicating their time to undermining optimism. Thanks a lot guys???? Okay. Deep breath. Positive thoughts. Okay. Well: what we do know is that happy people are dumb.

City and state officials aren't going to let you ride the subway for free tonight. (Fares were suspended in 1984 and 1985 in an effort to discourage New Year's Eve drunk driving; the MTA discontinued the program due to budget issues.) But you may still get a free trip home anyway. Cîroc and the vodka company's unfailingly responsible spokesman, Diddy, will distribute "thousands of" free Metrocards and $15 taxi debit cards tonight from 8-11pm as part of a PR stunt called "Safe Rides." The downside: You'll have to go to the meatpacking district or far West Chelsea club zone to get them. [NYT]

On December, 31, 1995 Bill Watterson ended his magnificent run of Calvin and Hobbes. What the strip might have looked like if it had been made into a Saturday morning cartoon after the jump!

Michelle Lang, a Calgary Herald reporter, was killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan yesterday. The blast also killed four soldiers. Earlier this year, the National Newspaper Awards named her best beat writer in Canada. She was 34. [Calgary Herald]

• It's been a long and windy road, but it looks like Gisele Bundchen's quest to sell off her NYC real estate holdings is complete. Less than a month after she went into contract to sell her townhouse at 42 Barrow Street, the supermodel and new mom has officially sealed the deal. An entity identified as Barrow Street LLC paid $12.95 million for the 5,000-square-foot home, which is $1 million less than what she was seeking when she put it on the market in September. It's Gisele's second sale in recent weeks: She unloaded her triplex penthouse on West 11th Street back in November for $4.4 million. [Cityfile]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

The New York Post has a late contender for dumbest story of the year — they really squeaked it under the wire, but it really is bad. And the middle-east dominates the rest.

• You heard that Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas Day for threatening to kill his wife Brooke Mueller with a knife, right? Forget all about it, please. Really. According to Mueller, it was just "one bad night," she and Sheen really "love each other," and they're going to work out all their issues on their own, so she's asked a judge to drop the order of protection that she'd requested last week. Why the sudden turnaround? Rumor has it Sheen's willingness to renegotiate the couple's pre-nup may have encouraged Mueller to change her tune. [NYDN, NYP]
• Sorry, ladies: Rosie O'Donnell is officially off the market: The comedian has confirmed she's dating Tracy Kachtick-Anders, a Texas-based artist and "inventor." And it seems the couple met thanks to Rosie's blog, since Tracy is a regular commenter on the site. Cute! [People, Gawker]
• Susan Sarandon hasn't confirmed that she's dating Jonathan Bricklin, the three-decades-younger ping-pong aficionado who she was first linked to last week. But they were spotted sharing a late-night meal earlier this week. [P6]
• Right-wing blowhard (and longtime prescription drug user) Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a hospital yesterday after complaining of chest pains. [NYP]

The British shooting world — in which rich people get together in stupid trousers to shotgun animals — has already hosted dictator kids this year. Now one of its leading figures is embroiled in a 'Christmas suicide mystery'.

As the Sheen-Mueller cycle of violence rounds another bend, we have no choice but to end the year depressingly. Tracy Morgan buys lube, Kate Hudson goes "psycho," Jonases contemplate break-up. Should auld gossip be forgot: Thursday gossip lang syne.

Diane von Furstenberg's spent the past week on the slopes in Aspen; today she'll celebrate her 63rd birthday. Other people turning a year older on New Year's Eve: Val Kilmer is turning 50. Bebe Neuwirth is 51. Anthony Hopkins turns 73. Ben Kingsley is turning 66. Donald Trump Jr. is 32. Famed attorney Joe Flom is 86. Real estate developer Ed Minskoff is 69. Author Nicholas Sparks turns 44. Donna Summers is 61. Gong Li is turning 44. And New Kids on the Block alum Joey McIntyre is 37 as of today. A bunch of people celebrating tomorrow below.

There have been many not-very-nice bankers before. There have been many not-very-nice husbands too. But this man, Jason Meyers, is clearly gifted in both departments. His wife is suing him, and the details are gruesome.

Armageddon (the Bruce Willis movie, not the concept hopefully) is coming true. Asteroid destruction!

Meet Tracy Kachtick-Anders: artist, inventor, adoption activist, doula (like a midwife, but less science and more hippie) and confirmed girlfriend of Rosie O'Donnell. They met last month on Rosie's Ask Ro web chat.

In which we discover the identity of the mysterious fourth person banned from Sarah Palin's book tour, and that Todd was in charge of enforcing the "no entry" list.