What a week! They feel so different, these 2010s! So fresh, and new! Also, as usual, there was death and terror and crime and greed.

Let's take a look at what you, dear readers, wanted us to write about today. Over to the #tips page: Halle Berry travels easily, kids are cruel, agh Joe Lieberman, Scientology had a "huge" day, and breaking! exclusive! NYT news.

1) He did not forget about 9/11.

Originally conceived as a fake trailer which ran between the two segments of 2007's Grindhouse, Robert Rodriguez's Machete looked so good it was made into a full film, scheduled for release in April, starring Danny Trejo as the titular antihero.

Today would be Elvis' 75th birthday. So naturally he would want Jackie Chan to sing "Fools Rush In" while promoting The Wacky Tuxedo 3 (working title) on Ellen. We wanted this to be bad. We really did. But it isn't.

[Gossip Girl stars Jenny Momsen and Nate Crawford filming in New York today; image via INF]

Today, Jim Behrle's Kreepie Kats are spoiling things.

The low-rent Jimmy Lloyd Productions put ads on Craigslist to attract "REAL songwriters" to add "Realness" to their proposed Lower East Side reality show, The Scene. Don't waste a demo, this is an embarrassment, not a big break. [Getty]

So there're lots of little newslet bits coming out today about the Jay Leno-NBC-Conan kerfuffle. It's impossible to keep up with all of them, so we'll just say this: While an interesting media story, who really cares about late night?

Or is it James Franco's General Hospital experiment? Either way, his arc for the past two months has kept stay-at-home moms and the unemployed entranced. But Franco's role is more than just a cameo—it's a conceptual art coup.

Tonight we're tuned into The Soup and Shark Tank. What are you watching tonight? Let us know in the comments.

Herman Rosenblat is the Holocaust survivor whose Oprah-endorsed story of meeting his wife while in a concentration camp turned out to be fake. When his publisher found out, they demanded their advance back. We've got the documents.

George Stephanopoulos acknowledges that he should've pressed Rudy Giuliani on his insane comments this morning.

An employee of Home James, a service for people who are simultaneously drunk and intelligent — they drive you home in your own car — laughs as a German man recites Billy Joel lyrics and spoons with a moped.

People are still pushing the "Ed Schultz for Senate" idea? Really?

Evidencing NBC's history of sometimes spotty programming choices, is the 1990 pilot, Poochinski, in which Peter Boyle plays the eponymous cop, killed in the line of duty and reincarnated as an animatronic talking bulldog to chew on criminals' crotches.

Big Love — HBO's beguilingly wonderful melodrama about a family living on the fringe — returns for its fourth season on Sunday night. You really should watch it. If you initially wrote it off as unsympathetic, give it another chance.

• Up next for Red Cat and Harrison owner Jimmy Bradley: An eatery at the forthcoming Nolitan hotel with Red Cat chef Bill McDaniel in the kitchen. [NYT]
• The team behind Dutch Kills in LIC are prepping a tiki bar on the LES. [F&W]
• Montenapo, the restaurant in the New York Times building, has closed. [GS]
• Danny Meyer's Maialino starts serving lunch next week. [TONY]
• A tour of Breslin co-owner Ken Friedman's speakeasy at the Ace Hotel. [BB]
• Don't give too much weight to the calorie counts restaurants put out. [NPR]
• Cold weather has endangered America's strawberry crop. Troubling! [NYT]

Holocaust memoir fabulist Herman Rosenblat's publisher demanded their money back after they found out his book was a hoax. Here are the documents.

Reuters' editor for global news thinks it's hilarious that, if you believe "some blogs and journalist talk," he and his boss bowed to pressure in killing an investigation into hedge fund manager Steven Cohen.