The Way We Live Now: Hoarding. We hoard tomatoes in a futile attempt to escape the looming tomato famine. We hoard pessimism. We hoard office knick-knicks because, hey, you can never have too many stress balls!

Dell kept hanging up on Chris Anderson; Neel Shah mounted a pro-Shake Shack counterattack; and Irin Carmon worried about the "invasion" of SXSW. The Twitterati were dealing with true offensives.

I bet this went through a lot of revisions. "Putting the 'hyp' back in 'hypocrisy'? The 'magog' back in 'demagogy'?"

We get the feeling Matt Drudge has used the words "push, push harder, push faster" in a different context before.

Lady O took a tour around the globe to see how other cultures treat beauty. A stop in Finland discovered that the Finnish smear honey on themselves and then roll in snow. In 5 degree weather. In a bikini.

Betty White won't be a part of the "Women of Comedy" SNL episode, Lorne Michaels expresses his favor for Conan, a video contest for Lost fans, Rob Lowe is heading to Parks and Recreation, and more.

Modern Marvels brings you everything you wanted to know about fork making from the last American flatware factory. You'd think America would be lousy with fork factories, but no. Curse you, food lift!

Chris DeWolfe was indeed prepping his first acquisition: the MySpace co-creator bought gaming platform MindJolt.

After admitting that she is the "queen of excuses" on Dr Oz today, Carnie Wilson managed to act like a nine year-old while going over a health plan that involved walking, cooking food, and occasionally speaking to her own doctor.

[Lady Googolplex in Ole Englande Towne; image via Splash]

On The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, the host treated us to a story about Sarah Palin before she was, well, Sarah Palin. The now-notorious Alaskan gal had asked to be on the show, to which Fergsuon said No.

Ho hum, Wal-Mart agreed to pay $12 million to settle a gender discrimination lawsuit yesterday. That's bad! But gawd, Wal-Mart is so green. That's good! Neither of these things really matters, though. We hate Wal-Mart for a much purer reason.

Congratulations to Susy Q and A for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Today at Gawker.TV, how to lose a Millionaire in Vegas, Yes, Dear predicted Tiger Woods' woes 2005, the Losties flock to the bad side, a father-to-be's beatboxing skills, and why Parenthood is just another notch on NBC's belt of failures.

Judging from these promo spots, it looks promising. But let's not jump the gun yet. Saturday Night Live has been in comedic free-fall this season, and one brilliant comedian can't turn around a bad team of SNL writers, can he?

Tyrannosaurus Sex isn't just a great name for a porn star, but also the name of a special on Discovery Channel that told us everything we didn't want to know about dinosaur sex. Sensitive readers, avert your eyes: dino-on-dino ahead!

Country singer Blake Shelton's shtick appears to have heightened red-neckery. It's a challenge to be the sleaziest thing on Fox and Friends, but Shelton makes it look easy.

A remarkable number of editorial employees have left New York magazine recently! Well. Five, at least. Let us review the departed, below.

Get ready for everyone to be outraged now that Mo'Nique has said her husband is allowed to "cheat." But if more people had open relationships, wouldn't life be a whole lot better?