TONIGHT: New episodes of The Bachelorette, Last Comic Standing and the Real Housewives of New Jersey make sure you get your reality TV fix. Also, don't miss a new Warren the Ape, featuring an appearance by Greg the Bunny.

Because she only gets to see her husband for one night and forgot to get a bikini wax, Khloe allows Kourtney to give her an amateur wax so she won't be "a hairy beast," but rather, the "perfect little wife."

This weekend, while terrible things continued happening in America and its waters, BP CEO Tony Hayward went on a yachting race, and Barack Obama played golf. Are you objectively hating them both in equal measures, right now?

This weekend Vanessa Carlton followed in the footsteps of female celebrities like Lady Gaga, Anna Paquin, and Megan Mullally and came out as bisexual. Congrats! But why is this well-intentioned announcement always made by ladies? Aren't there any bi guys?

Today at Gawker.TV, Mika Brzezinski dunks Joe Scarborough's cigarettes in coffee, Joel McHale attempts to interview Eminem, the Today Show struggle over Zach Galifianakis' name, and we take a look at Scoundrels and The Gates—ABC's new drama offerings.

Congratulations to inwintertime for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

[Leighton Meester, Kate Cassidy, and Selena Gomez start a stiletto-armed riot, filming bubblegum chick flick Monte Carlo in Paris. Image via Splash.]

Somewhere deep within our evolutionary mitochondria is a tiny strand of genetic material that makes us slaves to the sultry sounds of a singing fish. Scientists call this the "stupid gene." [Adfreak; Previously]

It really never will, declares HBO. Also today: lots of casting news, including a Real World cast member who continues to make good. New teen programming sounds teeny. And a romantic weeper finds its cast.

Sometimes, a short/random video is just what we need for a quick—and hearty—laugh. Luckily, we have San Francisco news anchor Ken Bastida, and his unfortunate non-transition when talking about an absent colleague, to provide the chuckle. Video inside.

So, the folks at Gothamist got an interesting email (and video) today. According to the anonymous letter, there is $10,000 in cash (US Mint $1 coins, to be exact) buried somewhere in NYC right this second. Details are inside.

Perez Hilton is going double-or-nothing with his "Is it child pornography?" pageview gambit. "If you're easily offended, do NOT click here" he tweeted today, linking to another photo of 17-year-old Miley Cyrus' crotch, her leotard askew and revealing between-the-legs flesh.

Trying to get her spark back in the bedroom, a Christian woman went looking for "marital aids" and all she found was porn. Her solution? The world's first Christian sex toy shop. You're going to love their euphemisms.

Mr. Joe Dirt—also known as David Spade—stopped by the Today Show to discuss his upcoming movie Grown Ups. In it, he horrifies audiences by showing off his pasty ass.

The Way We Live Now: Throwing everything against the crumbling wall to see what sticks. What sticks: cutting back every penny of spending. Then the wall falls down. Then we rob the bank the wall was attached to.

Have you been "providing training and advice to terrorist organizations even about entirely peaceful and legal activities," American? Well. the Supreme Court has upheld a law against this, 6-3, so you'd better stop, really soon. Or don't! It's your life.

Last night's True Blood included life lessons from Lafayette, with his signature dash of comedic relief. Lafayette is basically the best family member ever, taking care of his needy cousin Tara and his mother who calls him a "f*ggot."

The attached poster for Facebook film The Social Network neatly illustrates how Hollywood will try and turn an awkward young computer nerd into an exciting character worthy of a big-budget Hollywood drama: light him like a serial killer.

Thank your State Department: Blackwater/Xe has come back and won a $120 million Afghanistan contract.

Leave the guitar swinging to the pros fellas, or at least make sure that no one is within a 5 foot radius of you, just saying!